Homeschooling Moms

paganbaby
Why don't you get a "real" job?
September 12, 2013 at 12:07 PM

My almost 14 year old is REALLY pushing my buttons.

On the way to school today we were talking about how nice it would be to have my own car so we can go on trips without having to rely on Dad. (That man procrastinates and we never go anywhere)

Then DD asked "Well, why don't you get a job?"

Me, "I do work."

DD "No, I mean like a real job."

Me, "Oh sure!" "Just let me put your brother in public school and I'll get right on it."

DD, "Why don't you?"

Me, "Are you really asking me this?"  "He can't function in public school." "You know that."

DD "No I don't." "Maybe you just don't want to work."

At this point, we're at the front gate. She gives me a quick hug and leaves. I'm standing there in shock. Where did this come from??

Replies

  • Precious333
    September 12, 2013 at 12:11 PM
    Oh goodness...i remember being that way, how my parents tolerated me, i dont know!
  • mem82
    by mem82
    September 12, 2013 at 12:19 PM

    Maybe she is feeling jealous of the fact that her brother's issues have shortchanged her experiences and made things difficult for the family?

    I'm not saying she is right but being almost 14 she is starting to understand how the world works. She is starting to understand that jobs=money=luxuries like second cars=better social life for her/ less stress on the family which means better family life for her.

    Also, I assume her brother probably needs more of your time than she gets. If he is disruptive, she might be feeling a bit resentful.

  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    September 12, 2013 at 12:25 PM

    I've had my much younger children ask me this.  What, by far, was more aggravating to me, was listening to my bil disagree with how his mother spent his father's money.  Ya know what kid?  I had a lot to do before you, I'll have a lot to do after you, and if you think this is a waste of my time, I strongly disagree.

  • TJandKarasMom
    September 12, 2013 at 12:34 PM

    I wonder if she was just trying to push your buttons? I said some awful things to my mom at that age (which could be funny, looking at it since it was much the opposite-like I would ask why she worked so much and why she didn't love us enough to spend time with us instead of working).

  • Jenn8604
    September 12, 2013 at 12:41 PM
    Maybe she's jealous he gets more of your attention already and he's homeschooled and gets EVEN MORE of your attention and it's getting to her. Offer to homeschool her too (I'm sure u have, but offer again).
    By 8th grade I did all my work on my own unless I had math problems I took to my dad or an occasional English or Science question I took to my mom. She'd be able to finish in half the time and have more time to do stuff she wants and spend more time with you.
  • paganbaby
    September 12, 2013 at 2:20 PM

    Yeah, I don't know how my mom let me live to see 18 LOL

    Quoting Precious333:

    Oh goodness...i remember being that way, how my parents tolerated me, i dont know!


  • bluerooffarm
    September 12, 2013 at 2:27 PM

     I'd remind her of the things she wouldn't have if you had a "real job."  My hubby's mom worked and my mom didn't, he is constantly blowing my mind with the things he didn't have that I totally took for granted.  His mom dragged him to a sitter (clear into high school) before school to get onto the bus.  She wasn't there when he got home, but she sure had a long list of jobs he needed to do.  Supper was at 8:30 each night because she didn't trust him to make food and wouldn't allow him to eat before them.  He went to the sitter during school holidays (even in high school).  I'm sure you can come up with things that she would miss.

  • paganbaby
    September 12, 2013 at 2:34 PM

    That could be it. She's always wanted the high life. I know me staying home makes finances tighter but I do the best I can for her. She goes on trips with the church, I have her involved with the teen center, they also do trips and volunteer work, and I put her in dance. Growing up she was always in different classes and sports. My aunt would take her on trips out of state and show her a different way of life.

    But that's not enough for her. She wants what she perceives as "normal". Two parents who work, toilet paper, store bought cleaning supplies, public school, a mom who shaves and store bought lunchables. EVERYTHING doesn't have to be homemade mom! Fortunately or unfortunately, our life isn't like that. 

    Quoting mem82:

    Maybe she is feeling jealous of the fact that her brother's issues have shortchanged her experiences and made things difficult for the family?

    I'm not saying she is right but being almost 14 she is starting to understand how the world works. She is starting to understand that jobs=money=luxuries like second cars=better social life for her/ less stress on the family which means better family life for her.

    Also, I assume her brother probably needs more of your time than she gets. If he is disruptive, she might be feeling a bit resentful.


  • paganbaby
    September 12, 2013 at 2:35 PM

    Thank you!

    Quoting hwblyf:

    I've had my much younger children ask me this.  What, by far, was more aggravating to me, was listening to my bil disagree with how his mother spent his father's money.  Ya know what kid?  I had a lot to do before you, I'll have a lot to do after you, and if you think this is a waste of my time, I strongly disagree.


  • paganbaby
    September 12, 2013 at 2:37 PM

    I hope so. She's just been such a disagreeable person lately. I'm afraid to say anything cause she'll go off.

    And lol, that is funny. Just shows the grass is always greener on the other side.

    Quoting TJandKarasMom:

    I wonder if she was just trying to push your buttons? I said some awful things to my mom at that age (which could be funny, looking at it since it was much the opposite-like I would ask why she worked so much and why she didn't love us enough to spend time with us instead of working).


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