Homeschooling Moms

JTE11
Thinking in the open, here, would like your thoughts, too!
by JTE11
September 9, 2013 at 3:49 PM

Hello, I was just sitting here mulling over my DD's education (she will turn 3 in February) and I am just not sure where to go right now. We live in a rural area, there are few daycares and even fewer preschools. She just about never (maybe twice per year) gets to see other kids...but I want to homeschool her because the preschools here are not great. I am mainly concerned about her socialization and her learning how to work with other people, not just with me. I know it's a stereotype of homeschooled kids but it's actually playing out with my DD. She almost never gets to socialize.

I was considering putting her into preschool three days per week (or three half-days) just so she could see other kids, and then supplementing the academics on my own. I guess my questions to you are, do/did any of you have this issue? What did you do?

I am also concerned about her when she gets to kindergarten age-she likely won't be socializing then, either, because of the same reasons. It would just be me and her, every day. Can kids grow up OK if they never see other kids? We're really hurting for opportunities here and I'd hate to have to send her to the crap elementary school we have just so she doesn't grow up in a vacuum.  Do I sacrifice socialization for academics? Any input is welcome, ladies. I want her to be well-educated but also well-rounded and I'm just not seeing how I can strike that balance at this point. Thanks in advance, and thanks for reading the whole thing!


Just a quick update...it was recommended to me by a kind person on here to search Yahoo groups and Meetup.com (and another nice person recommended Googling) to see what comes up. I am getting no co-ops in my county, and I did find one social group for home schooling moms (not really for kids), that was it for home school groups. I am joining that group just to see what they can tell me about how to get my DD around other kids.

Replies

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    September 9, 2013 at 4:18 PM

     This is the definition from Dictionary.com

    so·cial·i·za·tion 

    noun
    1. a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
     
    I don't know about you but I want my children to learn those things from responsible adults not children!
    Now that is not saying I don't want my children to enjoy spending time with others their ages. You can find other homeschoolers close to you & have park days or join a co-op where your DD can take a class with other children but she dose not have to see children 5 days a week to learn to be social, she learns that everyday she interacts with you & everyone else.
  • JTE11
    by JTE11
    September 9, 2013 at 4:35 PM


    How would I be able to find other homeschoolers or a co-op? Are they listed somewhere? We don't have parks here, so I don't know what you mean by a "park day'.

    Anyway, if 'socialization' wasn't the right word, then don't use it. My point was I really don't want DD to spend her childhood years completely alone, with no other kids. I think a child should be around other children and have the opportunity to make friends and do things apart from their parents. From the definition you posted, it makes sense to me that I am not the one to teach her how to be a kid because I am not in her social position. She needs to be with age peers. Yes I need to be the one to teach her in theory how to get along in society and how to have manners and things but I'm thinking she needs the opportunity to put it into practice. She sees me everyday, DH almost everyday (unless he is working away), and once or twice per month she sees one or two of the grandparents, that's it. It just seems like a lonely existence for a kid who runs up to other kids at the store and wants to play right then and there and then cries because they can't. I am trying to find a way to get her around other kids, starting at age 3, which she will be in February and I don't know how to homeschool for preschool and yet get her around other kids on a regular basis.

    Quoting usmom3:

     This is the definition from Dictionary.com

    so·cial·i·za·tion 

    noun
    1. a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
     
    I don't know about you but I want my children to learn those things from responsible adults not children!
    Now that is not saying I don't want my children to enjoy spending time with others their ages. You can find other homeschoolers close to you & have park days or join a co-op where your DD can take a class with other children but she dose not have to see children 5 days a week to learn to be social, she learns that everyday she interacts with you & everyone else.



  • Dawn07
    by Dawn07
    September 9, 2013 at 4:48 PM
    Do you have any kind of programs like Tball or dance? What about letting her make friends in preschool and then keeping in touch with them in kindergarten.
  • KrissyKC
    September 9, 2013 at 4:54 PM

    I did preschool for my kids.   One, I sorta regretted because it turned out being very ... I can't think of another word except to say "worldly"... my daughter got bullied a little because she didn't go to salons to get her nails or hair done like the other little girls.   Some of the girls would try to hurt her, and if they got hurt instead, they'd go tell their teacher (many of them had moms that worked there, so they often told "mommy") and my daughter got accused of stuff she just never would have thought of doing....

    But... the other two kids, they had terrific experiences.   One was through the school district (free in the town we lived in) and the other was at a small church run prek.

    On the whole, we loved the preschool experience.

    However, don't worry too much about socialization.    They don't REALLY need 24/7 opportunities to learn to socialize.   Get involved with a mom's group or co-op, and you will find more than enough opportunities for her to get involved with other kids.  

    The other side of socialization is helping her be independent.    Like, don't hover over her when she talks to people.   Allow her to socialize with adults in line at the grocery store, let her pay for something on her own... basically just life skills.   Take her to the post office instead of ordering stamps online ane let her go up to the counter and order the stamps you need.   ETc...

    When she begins writing, even a pen pal will help with socialization.   Email friends or snail mail works.

    Sports groups or other fun classes are another help, too.    The libraries usually offer read alouds, lego club days, reading groups for kids, and other programs for kids.   



  • KrissyKC
    September 9, 2013 at 4:56 PM

    OH, to find homeschool co-ops in my area, I just googled "homeschool groups" and my county or city.

    We have a ton because we are outside of st Louis, however, we have lived more rural before.   There were even two different groups I could have joined when we lived in a very small/country town.


  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    September 9, 2013 at 4:57 PM

     Look on Yahoo groups type in your county & state along with homeschool & see what comes up. Look on Meetups.com for pre-school play groups in your aria.

    A park day is where you meet at the park with other homeschoolers. You could offer to host a play date at your house when you find other homeschoolers. Is there a community center you could see if they have activity's for her age group.

    I understand wanting to get your child friends & wanting her to be able to do things with other children.

     



     

     

    How would I be able to find other homeschoolers or a co-op? Are they listed somewhere? We don't have parks here, so I don't know what you mean by a "park day'.

    Anyway, if 'socialization' wasn't the right word, then don't use it. My point was I really don't want DD to spend her childhood years completely alone, with no other kids. I think a child should be around other children and have the opportunity to make friends and do things apart from their parents. From the definition you posted, it makes sense to me that I am not the one to teach her how to be a kid because I am not in her social position. She needs to be with age peers. Yes I need to be the one to teach her in theory how to get along in society and how to have manners and things but I'm thinking she needs the opportunity to put it into practice. She sees me everyday, DH almost everyday (unless he is working away), and once or twice per month she sees one or two of the grandparents, that's it. It just seems like a lonely existence for a kid who runs up to other kids at the store and wants to play right then and there and then cries because they can't. I am trying to find a way to get her around other kids, starting at age 3, which she will be in February and I don't know how to homeschool for preschool and yet get her around other kids on a regular basis.

    Quoting usmom3:

     This is the definition from Dictionary.com

    so·cial·i·za·tion 

    noun
    1. a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
     
    I don't know about you but I want my children to learn those things from responsible adults not children!
    Now that is not saying I don't want my children to enjoy spending time with others their ages. You can find other homeschoolers close to you & have park days or join a co-op where your DD can take a class with other children but she dose not have to see children 5 days a week to learn to be social, she learns that everyday she interacts with you & everyone else.

     

     

     

  • Knightquester
    September 9, 2013 at 5:06 PM

    If this is something you want to do, then you make the opportunities for her to interact and be with other kids, it doesn't just happen.  At least this has been my experience on the matter.

    I know a lot of successful homeschool families that have only one child.  The moms belong to a couple of homeschool co-ops and meet-up groups, they involve their children in various extra curricular activities and their children are no less social than any other child their age, regardless of the type of education they are receiving.

    I guess for me I don't see why you need to sacrifice socialization for academics.  My children are friends with at least three different homeschool families that are only children, and their friends aren't inadequately educated or socially awkward.  It's all in how you raise your child.

  • coala
    by coala
    September 9, 2013 at 5:08 PM

    I honesty looked on yahoo and found an amazing group of HS families in my area.  I also live in a large city.  We will be moving to a much more rural area soon and I am going to have to locate another group when we get there.  All I can think of for you is that her education is SO much more important than her socialization per se.  You can find just about anything for classes.  We frequent the roller skating rink and take swimming lessons.  These are places my kids are free to hang out with kids of ALL ages and not have me hovering over them.  I wish you luck.

  • Bleacheddecay
    September 9, 2013 at 5:09 PM

    Look up mommy and me type of groups.

    If you are open to going to a church that's another way to hang with kids.

    Any sport or class for that age is another way.

    Volunteering is another way, even just talking with people in your neighborhood is a way.

  • JTE11
    by JTE11
    September 9, 2013 at 5:15 PM

    Thank you, I had no idea where to look. I did the searches you recommended and I got one social group for home schooler parents (no co-ops) on Yahoo and nothing on Meetups. Maybe I can join the Yahoo group and see what they know about our area. Thanks. :)

    Quoting usmom3:

     Look on Yahoo groups type in your county & state along with homeschool & see what comes up. Look on Meetups.com for pre-school play groups in your aria.

    A park day is where you meet at the park with other homeschoolers. You could offer to host a play date at your house when you find other homeschoolers. Is there a community center you could see if they have activity's for her age group.

    I understand wanting to get your child friends & wanting her to be able to do things with other children.

     



     


    How would I be able to find other homeschoolers or a co-op? Are they listed somewhere? We don't have parks here, so I don't know what you mean by a "park day'.

    Anyway, if 'socialization' wasn't the right word, then don't use it. My point was I really don't want DD to spend her childhood years completely alone, with no other kids. I think a child should be around other children and have the opportunity to make friends and do things apart from their parents. From the definition you posted, it makes sense to me that I am not the one to teach her how to be a kid because I am not in her social position. She needs to be with age peers. Yes I need to be the one to teach her in theory how to get along in society and how to have manners and things but I'm thinking she needs the opportunity to put it into practice. She sees me everyday, DH almost everyday (unless he is working away), and once or twice per month she sees one or two of the grandparents, that's it. It just seems like a lonely existence for a kid who runs up to other kids at the store and wants to play right then and there and then cries because they can't. I am trying to find a way to get her around other kids, starting at age 3, which she will be in February and I don't know how to homeschool for preschool and yet get her around other kids on a regular basis.

    Quoting usmom3:

     This is the definition from Dictionary.com

    so·cial·i·za·tion 

    noun
    1. a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
     
    I don't know about you but I want my children to learn those things from responsible adults not children!
    Now that is not saying I don't want my children to enjoy spending time with others their ages. You can find other homeschoolers close to you & have park days or join a co-op where your DD can take a class with other children but she dose not have to see children 5 days a week to learn to be social, she learns that everyday she interacts with you & everyone else.



     



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