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Off Topic- Birthday parites and no shows
by Ecoseem
September 4, 2013 at 9:42 PM

How do you ladies handle it when you plan a party for your kid and no one shows? 

We had this issue last year, and I'm worried it's going to happen this year.  Last year ds decided he wanted a halloween birthday, which is cool, right?  So we plan and send out invitations for a costume party 5 weeks in advance.  Now, I throw some pretty great parties, if I do say so myself, and for this one I had planned a scavenger hunt in the yard, set up a maze in the house, a "crazy corner" with sheets and sheets of bubble wrap taped to the floor and a bubble machine, cake pops, cookies, white chocolate eyeballs, gift bags for the parents that included gift cards, crafts, the whole shebang. 

One kid showed up out of 30 invited.  Ds was heartbroken.

His birthday is coming up again, and he's decided he wants a Sonic the hedgehog party, and he wants to wear a Sonic costume.  So I've got the invitations made out that it's a themed party but we want to see everyone's super costume, we're having a make your own sundae bar instead of a cake, rented a room at a local activity center, and have some games.  I don't think I can stand to see ds cry over another birthday with no friends though!  He doesn't want gifts, or even activities, he JUST WANTS HIS FRIENDS THERE!   It's even in the invites that we don't want any gifts, just company.  Ds has no cousins anywhere near us, so if none of his friends show there really isn't a back up.

Gah!  Ok, rant over.  I'm just hoping for his sake that we can convince people to come.


  • Jinx-Troublex3
    September 4, 2013 at 9:54 PM

    I really don't know what to say. ((hugs))

    We usually only do a special activity with 1-2 friends. Something like a Mini-golf "family fun center" place, or an amusement park, or Medieval times.

    This year was DD's first "friends" party at the gymnastics center where she trains. We were allowed 10 kids and invited 12  (knowing 1 for sure wouldn't show but we "had" to invite) and counting on 1-2 drops.  In the end, she had 6 friends show up and then we allowed two young siblings of one of the girls to stay since we had extra spots. it was GREAT. She wasn't upset about the ones that didn't show and they all had a total blast!.

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    September 4, 2013 at 9:54 PM

     I would request RSVP so that you can try to get a head count before hand & if you don't get enough RSVP maybe call them over the phone to invite them. 5 weeks in advance I know I would forget about the party until it was to late to go!

    We don't do party's we dedicate the weekend before or after the family members birthday as "their weekend" & they get to pick what we do & eat for the weekend.

  • KrissyKC
    September 4, 2013 at 10:28 PM

    Well, there's a balancing act in WHEN to send out invitations.   It's possible 5 weeks is too early because people have time to forget.   One idea, is to send out SAVE the date cards, and then send out actual invitations a week or two outside the party.  

    Or are the party times more inconvenient (lots of conflicting sports events)...

    Do you ask people to RSVP?   

    Some of your closer friends that have RSVPed and then not shown up, have you actually personally touched base?   "Hey, is everything OK.   I was worried when I didn't see you at so-and-so's birthday."   Listen for their response.   Be understanding because we live in a very chaotic world.  HOWEVER, I'd make sure and get a good plug in there about "well, he had a pretty miserable birthday because only one child showed up.   I do understand, but it really broke his heart."

  • Jinx-Troublex3
    September 4, 2013 at 10:32 PM


    Maybe send out eVites too through email or facebook... 


    Quoting KrissyKC:

    Well, there's a balancing act in WHEN to send out invitations.   It's possible 5 weeks is too early because people have time to forget.   One idea, is to send out SAVE the date cards, and then send out actual invitations a week or two outside the party.  

  • Joann.HS
    September 4, 2013 at 11:18 PM
    I think 5 weeks is too early myself. I'd say a week and half... Maybe invite a handful of his closer friends. Call and chat with the moms if possible just reminding of the party if they didn't RSVP.
  • marrionsmommy
    September 4, 2013 at 11:34 PM
    I wish we lived near you ds would die to go to a sonic party lol...we had one lasy yr and he want another this yr. His bday is 4 days b4 christmas so its hard to get people to come. I pull kids from the neighborhood and friendd friends kids. Maybe do the party at chuckie cheese etc there are always kids there and if anything he can kake new friends. (I dont mean book a party.i mean get a tabe and set up yr decorations ).
  • SarahNElijah
    September 4, 2013 at 11:39 PM
    Was he in school last year? Just wondering because I don't think we know thirty friends to invite! :-b If so, I think it is different for school kids.. People get so many invites it is so hard to do all the parties..

    We have always homeschooled, so everyone we invite is a close friend, usually about 10-20 kids per party, but all friends that are friends of mine as well, so we keep in touch before the party!
  • Maridel
    by Maridel
    September 5, 2013 at 12:14 AM

    Sorry :( I don't know what I'd say to my child if that happens. I know our hearts break to see them disappointed. Wish I had some advice, but DD has 14 cousins so we don't really invite friends or it gets too crazy. I know that will change as they get older and have real "best friends". But for now we stick with family.

  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    September 5, 2013 at 8:13 AM

    Ok, this post really touched me because I have my son's birthday coming up on Saturday.  I'm not a super social butterfly and tend to keep the invites down to a minimum.  Last year this son's birthday, one kid showed up.  And we had invited scout buddies that he's known for years, we're all leaders together, never got an RSVP or anything.  I'm hoping this year those that responded don't flake out.  :)  I do agree that 5 weeks is too far in advance, some of us are just plain forgetful.

  • mem82
    by mem82
    September 5, 2013 at 9:00 AM
    I'm sorry. That happened to me twice. I agree about the invites. Our kids do family only parties becaus , well, we have a huge family.,

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