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Thinking about homeschooling my kid who gets in trouble at school
by MWate
August 29, 2013 at 10:45 PM


So my son is a first grader and in the public schools. Last year he had behavioral problems that led to weekly meetings with the councelor to work on things like social skills and appropriate responses. We're about to complete our first full school week tomorrow and already (between the 1 1/2 days he made it last week because he came home and stayed home sick and the 4 days already had this week) he's been to the Principal's office at least 3 times, the Principal has called us once and escorted my DS out of the building at the end of the day the other day in order to tell me how he'd gotten in trouble and had been sitting on the bench outside the office for the last bit of the day, the teacher has called me (the first day of school actually) to ask me if I had any suggestions for what she could do for him, and I've gotten an email from the councelor checking in and asking if maybe I want a referral to from what I can glean from internet research seems like some sort of psychological treatment for him since the teacher has approached her about the problems she's having with my boy.

I'm flabbergasted. Do I have a difficult child? Sure, I'm not stupid. But to have the school seeming like it's completely dumbfounded by him when the years just barely begun? Have they really never encountered such a child before, in all those thousands of children they've had come through their doors??

So, anyways, the point is, I'm wondering if anyone started homeschooling because of behavior problems their child had being in a classroom setting that weren't a problem in a one-on-one setting? He's a very smart boy, but it seems like that's being lost in the behavior problems and so he's not getting the advanced things he needs in that area. Anyone had a similar experience? I'm just feeling so lost and confused!



  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    August 29, 2013 at 11:04 PM

    I have had a very similar experience.  We pulled our son in January because of difficulties with the school.  We stuck with our neighborhood ps through 3rd for him, and then moved him to a charter that seemed like it would be a better fit.  He set the record for the earliest phone call to the police (he ran away from them all).  I'm not stupid, my kid is a challenge, but I felt like you--surely they have to have met someone like him along the way.  The thing is, and I've really come to believe this (though I may be wrong), they don't want to deal with him.  He's hard.  They don't want to get through to him, they don't want to help him.  They want him to shape up or ship out.  And so ship out he did.  And I struggle with him.  But he's loved here at home.  And I've made mistakes with him, some even just this evening, but I'm doing better by him than they were in school.

  • celticdragon77
    August 30, 2013 at 12:03 AM

    It depends on the parent and child. What is he getting in trouble for? How old is the child? What is your relationship like with your son? How is the home life?

    I was raised in foster care and was a kid that spent some time in two different juvenile detention centers and went to a school for two years that was just for kids who get into a lot of trouble. It was a really neat school and I did well there. Homeschooling would not have worked for me because I had issues with my "home" life. 

    Likely, your son is not as bad as I was... So it might work. You would need a good game plan.

    What worked for me... Not being stifled with rules, not having someone feeling the need to be the "big dog" - that was down to earth and equal with me. Have a good heart, patience and a good sense of humor. 

  • Jinx-Troublex3
    August 30, 2013 at 12:15 AM
    I had a similar experience with my middle son in 1st grade. He does have ADD and was at that point medicated. It was a joke. They didn't want to help him. They wanted a little robot that would sit down n shut up. He came home one day and asked,"Why did God make me stupid?" He overheard the teacher tell the aide that he was stupid.

    Bringing him home has been the best thing ever! It has been hard. We had our days, especially when he was younger. Now, he is in 8th this year and doing awesome!
  • celticdragon77
    August 30, 2013 at 12:23 AM

    lol, when you wrote "a kid who gets in trouble at school", I pictured my days of getting in trouble at school. If it is just ADHD issues or being bored... then homeschooling would at the very least be worth the try. I believe that the possibilities are endless with homeschooling! 

  • romacox
    by romacox
    August 30, 2013 at 6:46 AM

    Besides my experience  with homeschooling, I tutor children who are having difficulty in the school system. What jinx-troublex3 said is way too common.  There can be many reasons a child acts up.  But most of the time it is because the one size fits all approach (left brain teaching) does not work for all children  This is particularly true for the hands on learner,  and the rationall child,    They typically blame themselves, and think they are dumb.

    I was given one such  child in kindergarten,  He was a very bright hands on learner, and quickly learned when I used a hands on approach.  He came to me in first grade knowing less than he did the year before.  I was tutoring him at school, and he was very stressed.  So I talked to his mom about tutoring him at his home with Mom present. 

    He was calmer there, but was not grasping the simplest of things.  Finally he said, "I am dumb".  I asked him who told him this.  The other kids were teasing him.  So I informed his teacher and mom.  We all began assuring him that he was not dumb.  He just learned differently.  Within 3 days, he was making As again.  So for him, it was all in the mind.  But many of the children I receive are much older, and there is a lot of catching up, showing them they are smart, and dealing with the discipline problems they developed as a protective measure. 

    You see the P.S. teachers are required to use certain curriculum by the Department of education.  It is usually because the curriculum developer has friends in high places, and it is not because it works.   As a home educator, you do not have those restrictions.  You can use what is best for your child. 

    Mothers have a natural instinct when it comes to their children.  Trust it. 


    Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

    I had a similar experience with my middle son in 1st grade. He does have ADD and was at that point medicated. It was a joke. They didn't want to help him. They wanted a little robot that would sit down n shut up. He came home one day and asked,"Why did God make me stupid?" He overheard the teacher tell the aide that he was stupid.

    Bringing him home has been the best thing ever! It has been hard. We had our days, especially when he was younger. Now, he is in 8th this year and doing awesome!

  • JKronrod
    August 30, 2013 at 1:22 PM

    The answer depends on what, precisely, he is doing to "get into trouble."  Some things do require intervention, and in those cases while homeschooling may be appropriate, it won't address the problem. But it's not at all clear from what you wrote that this is the case here - or that it's not. 

    If he just has trouble waiting his turn or isn't paying attention, etc. then homeschooling may, indeed, be better for him.   

  • KrissyKC
    August 30, 2013 at 2:35 PM


    My daughter had social issues that was seriously affecting her.   We refused to let her become a statistic.   So, we pulled her out, but her brother had just started KG and we thought it was going well for him.

    Halfway through the year, his teacher finally contacted us and let us know about behavior problems she had dealt with all year.    Then, I was hearing from her 2-3 times a week or more... sometimes even a couple times a day.   

    It was pretty easy to just pull him out and home educate him as well the following year.   The really sad part???   My THIRD child is the one that has the real issues.  (love her, but sheesh, some days.. I'm not sure I can do this!)

    Anyway, my son still needs reprimanded when he interrupts a lot, but I also have to keep in mind that one of the ways he learns is by discussing, talking things through, repeating them to me, etc...  so if I don't allow him to ask questions sometimes or interrupt with something that is at least "similar" in content... then he will tune out and stare out into space and then REALLY become disruptive.   In school, he cannot interrupt that much.  

    He also has more wiggle room here, because I don't care if he sits on his feet, knees, stands, sticks his butt out in the air, long as he's learning and doing what is assigned/requested.   He cannot do that in school either.

    We also can follow our interests more, shorten lessons if they know them, don't have as many deadlines, and have a lot more free time in their day to day life.

    by HIJKLM
    August 30, 2013 at 2:50 PM
    Is this new behavior? It might be environmental. A bully, a short tempered teacher, new diet at the new school, new schedule or sleep schedule.

    I would consider it though. If you're scared of HS, like I was, you might look in to an on line charter school. They have tons of support, provide all lesson plans and curriculum and even most of your school supplies. Also because its still public school it's an easy transition if you decide to go back to public school. No different than switching between public schools.

    Good luck!
  • kirbymom
    August 30, 2013 at 3:20 PM
    Hi MWate. Welcome. :)

    Have any of your son's teachers even told you what the problems are or did they just say they were having problems? Are they problems that can be handled through normal options and hard work? Or, do you think the situation calls for an intervention if some sort?

    Either way, homeschooling could just be the answer you are looking for. With you knowing what his troubles are, you are the best one to tailor the discipline to his specific needs while continuing his education at the same time. He could just be causing trouble because he isn't being mentally challenged enough in school. Too bored. It sounds like he needs to be on the constant move. Whether that is mentally thinking/figuring out stuff or physically moving around. Or both, at the same time. Can't sit still to save his life. (I have a few of those!) so of course he will act out in school. :)

    If you want to homeschool, then by all means, homeschool. You do what works best for your family. You are NOT alone. We are here for you. You can do this.
  • Precious333
    August 30, 2013 at 4:06 PM
    Schools like one type of kid.....the kids that stay steal, follow directions and never question anything. If they are failing your child the best thing would be to pull him out.

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