Homeschooling Moms

KrissyKC
off topic, but maybe not...
August 26, 2013 at 7:23 PM

Ok, so we talk about homeschooling being life long.   We start educating them from the moment they utter their first cry... maybe even in the womb.

So, with that being the case, then potty training problems are not really off topic for homeschooling right?

Anyway, My son... he woke up one day, asked for underwear and I put them on him.   He had MAYBE 2-3 accidents over a 3 week period and was viola, trained.   Both poop and pee.   He was just over two years old.

He is my second of four.   I have another boy, but he's just turned 1 and not there yet.

I can't tell if it's my fault, or what, but my girls give me YEARS worth of potty accidents... not just pee... no... and not just accidents... and they won't come get help to get cleaned up.   They just let themselves sit and steep in it, no matter how disgusting it is!

I'm at the end of my rope dealing having dealt with it with my now 11 yr old for about a decade... my 5 yr old was trained for over a year, then she started using it to "get even" with her Dad and I whenever she was angry with us or in discipline.   We would just let her clean up her mess and sit back in time out again...

Then, she started doing it all the time... we are talking about 70% of the time, she has an "accident"...   I make her go sit on the potty regularly.. I've had her evaluated... we've checked into everything medical...  Doc just says let her grow out of it.

Will she be almost 10 like her sister was when we finally got it broke????   

I'm trying to be a good mother and not get so tired of cleaning up crap (like I had to today)... but she made the biggest mess she ever made today... pooped her pants TWICE... and kept playing in it.   I was busy with other moms at a homeschool event and I could SEE her, but wasn't close enough to smell her.

Anyway, she had it smeared down both legs, up her back... all over her skirt and leggins, all over her shirt.   I had to wash her clothes out by hand and clean the bathroom of the Christian Library we were at....   I had to throw away her panties, etc...   It was dried to her legs, she had peed on top of it once or twice... and we weren't there more than an hour and a half before I discovered it.   I disinfected their entire bathroom from the stall she smeared poop ALL over to the floor where she peed herself trying to pull down poopy pants...

I so want to understand and help her through this, but I'm really REALLY wore out and tired.   If I take my attention off her for 30 minutes, she does this.

Help me...  I really don't know if I can raise this kid.   She needs some one better at this than I am.





Replies

  • debramommyof4
    August 26, 2013 at 8:41 PM

     Your scaring me.  My 4.5 year old son is like this.  I hope he will out grow this soon. But if it can last till 10 I am not happy.

  • Bleacheddecay
    August 26, 2013 at 8:59 PM

    My girl had a hard time with this and had accidents up to grade 5 before we started homeschooling. This was, IMO, because she had ADHD which had yet to be diagnosed. When she finally got on meds, I nearly cried when she kept saying all the things she could suddenly feel.

  • KrissyKC
    August 26, 2013 at 10:21 PM

    Feel????   ADHD meds help them FEEL potty urges?   I never thought of that.

    Here, I'm thinking that HSing her and keeping her OFF meds is the right thing for her.

     


    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    My girl had a hard time with this and had accidents up to grade 5 before we started homeschooling. This was, IMO, because she had ADHD which had yet to be diagnosed. When she finally got on meds, I nearly cried when she kept saying all the things she could suddenly feel.



  • KrissyKC
    August 26, 2013 at 10:23 PM

    All the advice is awesome.   Thank you ladies!    I DO make her clean it up... but def can't do that out and about, although I left her there for 20 minutes while I took my time getting things in order to be able to get to it... plus I cleaned up what I knew she really reasonably COULDN'T, and then handed her towels and walked out saying, "your turn, you need to clean up their potty.   Get ALL the poopy off and make sure you throw the towels in the bag here, not the toilet."   Then I walked out for another 20-30 minutes.

  • KrissyKC
    August 26, 2013 at 10:25 PM

    I might be terrible, but I just cannot refuse the other kids going places because of their sister's behavior.   She has been like this going on 2 1/2 years and my older kids really love co-op and classes they take.   As for a sitter?  It's not in the funds.   Best I can do is keep her beside me and not let her play because I have to make sure she potties.   However, doesn't that just give her attention??? 

  • KrissyKC
    August 26, 2013 at 10:26 PM

    I know it's about attention... but I can't seem to give her ENOUGH attention.   

  • bluerooffarm
    August 27, 2013 at 8:12 AM

     

    Quoting KrissyKC:

    I might be terrible, but I just cannot refuse the other kids going places because of their sister's behavior.   She has been like this going on 2 1/2 years and my older kids really love co-op and classes they take.   As for a sitter?  It's not in the funds.   Best I can do is keep her beside me and not let her play because I have to make sure she potties.   However, doesn't that just give her attention??? 

     Do you do anything at co-op?  like teach a class or anything?  If not, can you drop the others off and sit outside in the car with her?  No attention from anyone inside, give her little attention in the car. 

    I kept my lo outside of our church group because he could not behave appropriately there.  Sitting in the car bored for nearly 2 hours was enough to cure him (for a while).

  • mem82
    by mem82
    August 27, 2013 at 8:18 AM
    These ladies are better than I. I would beat her button hard. I don't usually believe in spanking at that age but there you have it.
  • mem82
    by mem82
    August 27, 2013 at 8:25 AM
    It isn't about attention, this about control. She can control you with this because you can't /won't let her sit in it. I don't know but I would wrap a trash bag around her waist and tell she can just sit in it. DON'T let her change out of it. She has no medical condition that causes this. I bet if you make her stay in it, ignoring her and just going on with your day it will help. Some kids are just stubborn. When she is an adult it will help her if she learns to temper it.

    Quoting KrissyKC:

    I know it's about attention... but I can't seem to give her ENOUGH attention.   

  • luvcats406
    August 27, 2013 at 6:00 PM

    My ds had constipation problems until around 11.  He would get so bad it looked like he was pregnant!  We were in and out of the hospital and doctors offices.  He would leak so bad we had to put good nights on him.  It was awful!  We tried ignoring it, talking about it, punishing.  You name it we tried it.  He was so sick with it it was horrible!  But it still went on till age 11.  I think it was he became mature enough to realize he hated being so sick and going to the hospital with a tube down his throat.  Before that, nothing my dh and  I could say had any effect on him.  We had him tested for many things, it was not a medical problem, he just would not go!  Maybe a control issue?  We still give him miralax occasionally and he is 16!  He damaged himself really badly.

Homeschooling Moms