Homeschooling Moms

Monkiebut
Behavior modification charts -little OT
August 26, 2013 at 4:42 PM
My 7 yr old will NOT stop complaining/ whining/ being rude. We have tried all sorts of things over the hard but I'm fed up!

I need ideas for a behavior modification chart JUST for those things. She has a rewards chart for daily things like wearing her glasses we also have a chart for punishment that is for anything (you get 2 warnings than a timeout, on your 3rd time out you are grounded).
I'm looking for something that is just for her complaining/ whining/ being rude. I've tried a rewards chart for it but it failed. I want a punishment chart but I need some ideas!
Visuals would be great!

Replies

  • Monkiebut
    August 26, 2013 at 4:46 PM

    Mobile Photo

    Our punishment chart
  • Monkiebut
    August 26, 2013 at 4:47 PM

    Mobile Photo

    Our rewards chart
  • bluerooffarm
    August 26, 2013 at 5:03 PM

     I have a little set of cards (green, yellow, orange, pink, red) on a ring.  When they whine, they "flip their card."  At the end of the school day if they are on yellow: no tablet games, orange: no tablet and no wii, pink: no games and bed is 10 minutes early, red: no games and bed is 30 minutes early.  But I only pull them out when I am at the end of my rope.  It turns their attitudes around quickly and soon I can put the cards back away.

  • kirbymom
    August 26, 2013 at 5:18 PM
    You might try a physical activity for every complaint and every whine. Something where when a complaint is made, they have to hop on their weakest leg. That will boost their leg strength and tire them out at the same time. Then they have no rememberances for complaining. When they whine, they have to sing a silly song and walk in a rectangle pattern.

    What you are trying to accomplish here is these actions are going to take their minds of of their negative thinking and give them something else to think and focus on instead if thinking of complaining or whining. Set their minds in a different direction. You have to stop them in mid thought! You can even possibly make it a tad funny just to shock their thought process at first.
    Once they realize that this is what they will have to do, they will do less of the complaining and whining. Just remember, it will take time to get back to the road you want to be on. But you can accomplish this.
  • allycally
    August 26, 2013 at 5:39 PM
    I make a special trip... for example we have duck park they love to go to ,I made a duck on a pond with pieces of bread on the pond one for each kid and one for each day until the trip... if they lost all the bread for bad behavior, we wouldnt go .It made them accountable for their actions as well as brothers,... they both wanted the other to be on best behavior... I have a treasure chest one,regular park,picnic, movie one....


    Maybe you should simplify the chart system and use one for expected behavior/ chores and one for misbehaviour and leave it at that... it seems less confusing
  • paganbaby
    August 26, 2013 at 5:46 PM

    We do push ups :-)

    Quoting kirbymom:

    You might try a physical activity for every complaint and every whine. Something where when a complaint is made, they have to hop on their weakest leg. That will boost their leg strength and tire them out at the same time. Then they have no rememberances for complaining. When they whine, they have to sing a silly song and walk in a rectangle pattern.

    What you are trying to accomplish here is these actions are going to take their minds of of their negative thinking and give them something else to think and focus on instead if thinking of complaining or whining. Set their minds in a different direction. You have to stop them in mid thought! You can even possibly make it a tad funny just to shock their thought process at first.
    Once they realize that this is what they will have to do, they will do less of the complaining and whining. Just remember, it will take time to get back to the road you want to be on. But you can accomplish this.


  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    August 26, 2013 at 6:10 PM

    Over the summer we did a penny jar for behaviors.  Behaviors I was trying to encourage (kind turns, taking in dishes without being asked, putting their things away without being asked, etc.) earned them each a penny, while bad behaviors (sass, attitude, refusal to help, etc.) lost them pennies.  They could lose pennies faster than earn them, which I think is true in life.  So with a bad temper tantrum they could lose 5-10 pennies.  They couldn't go on any fun trips until they had earned a full-ish jar of pennies.  It took them weeks to earn a day out, but they only lost it again a couple times (not all the way to zero, just below the line), and only for a couple days at most.

  • KrissyKC
    August 26, 2013 at 6:23 PM

    I have to say that behavior modification charts don't work for us.   My girls, specifically (11 and 5) will earn the reward and then turn around and mess up on purpose afterward....

    However, I've heard of some one doing a whine bottle.   They decided that monthly they would take the kids somewhere, like an arcade, (chuck e cheese?) and they filled a jar with nickels.    Everytime some one was caught whining, they removed a nickel.     When they went to the arcade, the kids were ONLY given the money that was in their "whine bottle" to spend.


  • Monkiebut
    August 26, 2013 at 6:44 PM
    We have tried variations of the penny jar and whine bottle- neither worked.

    I will not use corporal punishment (anything with physical punishment). My dd has PTSD from an abusive bio dad and SEVERE anxiety, it would literally make her life, and mine for that matter, hell.

    I might try the different colored cards, but I have/need a zero tolerance policy since its literally ALL DAY that she whines/ complains/ is rude.
  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    August 26, 2013 at 7:37 PM

     I have learned over the years that charts only work if the next reward is better then the last so we threw that out the window.

    For behavior we have learned that modeling what we wish to see in our children has been the best way to get the results we want. So if we want them to be more polite & helpful we make sure to always be polite & helpful to them as well as everyone else so that they see us doing it all the time.

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