Homeschooling Moms

Featured Posts
celticdragon77
advice
June 22, 2013 at 12:36 PM

I feel that this needs said and I do not mean any hard feelings as I write this.

Homeschooling is a way of life and it can make it where even close family and friends can no longer relate to you. I have a small fraction of the population where I can come to ask questions or discuss a topic related to homeschooling.

I get enough grief for my decision to homeschool outside this circle. When I come here and want to be a part of a discussion, or ask a question, I should feel free to do so without the judgments and criticism. 

I get that a lot of homeschoolers think that it shouldn't "look like school". However, how much more or less a person models it after public school, is up to each parent. What materials they choose, how long they want to do school, the activities they choose to do to count as school... it is all up to each parent to choose. I do not answer to the school, my family, or even to other homeschoolers concerning these decisions. 

I have never come here asking how long I should homeschool for, what kind of homeschool method I should use, how much I should model my homeschool day after the public school system.

Not everyone is against the public school system. Not everyone is paranoid of the government. I live in a state with strict laws and it doesn't even personally bother me any. It is all stuff I do anyways, and yes it is time consuming and inconvenient to put all that information together and pay to have someone to check over it all.

Then again, I live right in between big cities (Baltimore, Philly, DC..) and there are medium and small cities scattered about. A large population of people live close together. I see how parents fail their children, and how communities fail their children - on almost a daily basis. So I am a bit more patient and understanding with certain laws.

We each have our own circumstances and backgrounds that color in our pictures as homeschoolers - despite what we have in common.

If a unschooler can come in here and expect to ask for specific advice or join in a discussion, and reasonably ask not to have their "method" criticized. Then, also, a homeschooler that wants to do it to the polar opposite, should also be able to come in here and ask of the same exact thing.

It distracts from the conversation if people get too focused on "advising" on the area that they think is the problem, the method. Unless it is that they specifically want advice on. Unless what I am doing is emotional, mental, or physically crossing some line of abuse in your mind, then there is no reason to criticise how I choose to homeschool my kids.

Some think that because what is their experience is what will apply to others. They say well, I have been doing this awhile and this is what I experienced and learned... 

I have homeschooled before. I used a relaxed eclectic method. I was a married SAHM at the time. We had both the money and time to comfortablly homeschool any way we saw fit. I had grand ideals and plenty of confidence. 

I homeschooled my oldest child through part of 5th grade, and up to 9th grade. She has since attended public school for the past two years of high school.

She struggles in certain areas. To the point that she can not effectively learn at public school. She takes all of her work home and learns it all there.

A teacher told my daughter that she is not prepared for college at all. Some of it being because she can not learn in a school environment. We recently sat in on some college classes. A family member that lives a few hours away and who we do not see often, is a college professor, and we talked to him a bit. He agreed that my daughter would struggle with college if some habits were not developed soon. My daughter in the past two years has acquired enough credits to graduate a year early (next year). She scores fine on all of her tests, she makes straight A's, is an intelligent and hard working girl. Yet she is NOT ready for college.

My daughter and I have had talks and I know where I went wrong with homeschooling. Some of the issues she has is because of public school and some because she was homeschooled. I would let her make decisions and she admits now that she had no idea of what she was doing. She also now says that she just followed me - she was easily wanting to make me happy, agree with me, etc. It hasn't hurt our relationship. She doesn't feel like I steered her too far off course, and she says that she still feels better off from the homeschooling than had she attended public school all those years. She has a love for learning and she learned a good bit. However, there were lessons learned from the experience. Most teachers never have to be accountable on this level. They do not have to bear the weight of accountability solely on themselves for a single child (because that child passes through so many handlers). They do not have to live with and so closely experience the consquences... for good and for bad. 

I make my choices to homeschool the way that I do, based on MY set of circumstances. Based on MY lessons learned - which is basically based on just MY perceived thoughts of various experiences. You might read this and walk away with a completely different outlook.

I do not write this to advise you to steer clear of certain ways of homeschooling, or from educating your child at home. I do not respond to unschoolers posts saying they are doing it wrong, that their children will hate them, or that they should listen to me because I have XYZ experience (all things I have heard in the past few days). I don't do it because I respect that they have a right to do it their way, learn their own lessons, and recognize/respect that what works for one doesnt work for everyone. I appreciate and respect those differences - and the freedom to have them. 

Replies

  • Bleacheddecay
    June 22, 2013 at 2:36 PM

    I'm sorry that you feel you've been attacked.

    I'm also sorry that your girl has issues right now. I would say not to blame yourself. Kids have issues. Likely she would have had more if you hadn't homeschooled but no schooling is without gaps and pitfalls. None of us are perfect and none of our kids are blank slates that are perfect either.

    Now that I'm done with homeschooling, looking back I can say there weren't many people to talk with about it. Still that didn't distance me from friends of family. I just didn't talk about homeschooling with them. I didn't ask their opinion or push my ideas on them.

    I do agree that there are many ways to homeschool. Also that we should all be supportive of one another.

  • celticdragon77
    June 22, 2013 at 4:01 PM

    I appreciate your thoughts. 

    I don't feel attacked. I was very frustrated that day though. 

    You are so right and I love the analogy of them not being perfect blank slates. My point wasn't that I expect perfection at the end of my time of teaching them. My point was that I was able to learn from that experience and apply some of it to my younger kids. I have experiences and circumstances that direct me in a different direction than maybe another homeschooler.

    For me, in some ways, homeschooling does "distance" me from various friends and family. I have family that do not even talk to us over it. I have had holiday dinners ruined by the conversation of homeschooling coming up by various family members. I have awkward moments when talking to friends, because I homeschool and they do not. There are some conversations and questions that I can not engage in, unless I am speaking with a fellow homeschooler.  

    I guess I thought by writing this that I would remind everyone that while we are all in this together, we need to be careful that in our zeal to help, that we do not end up accomplishing the opposite. 

    I was not even stressed out when I asked my question here. I didn't even care about my state laws. I had JUST finished spending hours doing our school year calendar on M.S. Office and felt such pride in it - and I had people saying it was all wrong and my kids would hate me. Which had nothing to with my question. I had been so excited to start filling it in with activities and such - and my day ended with me really frustrated.  

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    I'm sorry that you feel you've been attacked.

    I'm also sorry that your girl has issues right now. I would say not to blame yourself. Kids have issues. Likely she would have had more if you hadn't homeschooled but no schooling is without gaps and pitfalls. None of us are perfect and none of our kids are blank slates that are perfect either.

    Now that I'm done with homeschooling, looking back I can say there weren't many people to talk with about it. Still that didn't distance me from friends of family. I just didn't talk about homeschooling with them. I didn't ask their opinion or push my ideas on them.

    I do agree that there are many ways to homeschool. Also that we should all be supportive of one another.


  • Bleacheddecay
    June 22, 2013 at 4:40 PM

    I missed that whole thing. I'm sorry. *HUGS*


    Quoting celticdragon77:

    I appreciate your thoughts. 

    I don't feel attacked. I was very frustrated that day though. 

    You are so right and I love the analogy of them not being perfect blank slates. My point wasn't that I expect perfection at the end of my time of teaching them. My point was that I was able to learn from that experience and apply some of it to my younger kids. I have experiences and circumstances that direct me in a different direction than maybe another homeschooler.

    For me, in some ways, homeschooling does "distance" me from various friends and family. I have family that do not even talk to us over it. I have had holiday dinners ruined by the conversation of homeschooling coming up by various family members. I have awkward moments when talking to friends, because I homeschool and they do not. There are some conversations and questions that I can not engage in, unless I am speaking with a fellow homeschooler.  

    I guess I thought by writing this that I would remind everyone that while we are all in this together, we need to be careful that in our zeal to help, that we do not end up accomplishing the opposite. 

    I was not even stressed out when I asked my question here. I didn't even care about my state laws. I had JUST finished spending hours doing our school year calendar on M.S. Office and felt such pride in it - and I had people saying it was all wrong and my kids would hate me. Which had nothing to with my question. I had been so excited to start filling it in with activities and such - and my day ended with me really frustrated.  

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    I'm sorry that you feel you've been attacked.

    I'm also sorry that your girl has issues right now. I would say not to blame yourself. Kids have issues. Likely she would have had more if you hadn't homeschooled but no schooling is without gaps and pitfalls. None of us are perfect and none of our kids are blank slates that are perfect either.

    Now that I'm done with homeschooling, looking back I can say there weren't many people to talk with about it. Still that didn't distance me from friends of family. I just didn't talk about homeschooling with them. I didn't ask their opinion or push my ideas on them.

    I do agree that there are many ways to homeschool. Also that we should all be supportive of one another.




  • celticdragon77
    June 22, 2013 at 5:08 PM

    It's okay, and thank you... 

    I think that I just need to be more careful about how I engage in the homeschool discussions from now on. 

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    I missed that whole thing. I'm sorry. *HUGS*


    Quoting celticdragon77:

    I appreciate your thoughts. 

    I don't feel attacked. I was very frustrated that day though. 

    You are so right and I love the analogy of them not being perfect blank slates. My point wasn't that I expect perfection at the end of my time of teaching them. My point was that I was able to learn from that experience and apply some of it to my younger kids. I have experiences and circumstances that direct me in a different direction than maybe another homeschooler.

    For me, in some ways, homeschooling does "distance" me from various friends and family. I have family that do not even talk to us over it. I have had holiday dinners ruined by the conversation of homeschooling coming up by various family members. I have awkward moments when talking to friends, because I homeschool and they do not. There are some conversations and questions that I can not engage in, unless I am speaking with a fellow homeschooler.  

    I guess I thought by writing this that I would remind everyone that while we are all in this together, we need to be careful that in our zeal to help, that we do not end up accomplishing the opposite. 

    I was not even stressed out when I asked my question here. I didn't even care about my state laws. I had JUST finished spending hours doing our school year calendar on M.S. Office and felt such pride in it - and I had people saying it was all wrong and my kids would hate me. Which had nothing to with my question. I had been so excited to start filling it in with activities and such - and my day ended with me really frustrated.  

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    I'm sorry that you feel you've been attacked.

    I'm also sorry that your girl has issues right now. I would say not to blame yourself. Kids have issues. Likely she would have had more if you hadn't homeschooled but no schooling is without gaps and pitfalls. None of us are perfect and none of our kids are blank slates that are perfect either.

    Now that I'm done with homeschooling, looking back I can say there weren't many people to talk with about it. Still that didn't distance me from friends of family. I just didn't talk about homeschooling with them. I didn't ask their opinion or push my ideas on them.

    I do agree that there are many ways to homeschool. Also that we should all be supportive of one another.





  • TJandKarasMom
    June 22, 2013 at 6:55 PM

    I read most, if not all, of your post and the responses and I don't remember reading anything that said "you should take my advice because of this experience" or "your kids will hate you if you do it that way."  I think most people just felt it was a lot and your original post seemed like you were kind of stressing out, IMO, sorry if I interpretted it wrong.  I know a lot of us did take it in the wrong direction, once you pointed out that your post had nothing to do with state requirements but you just wondered how people schedule and make lesson plans.  In the original post it seemed like you were stressing about how to fit it all in.

    I also think that while you say you don't answer to anyone about your choices in style of homeschooling, you did say a lot that you think the school will be on your back because they aren't happy you are pulling the kids out.  I think a lot of us wanted to be sure you remember that it really doesn't matter what opinion the school has, they can't require any more of you than the state requirements, and it is your right to educate your children how you see fit, it is not up to the school or anyone else- as you said.

    I think you are completely right that we should all come in here knowing we all do things differently, and that doesn't mean anyone is doing it wrong, we should all support and help one another.  I don't think anyone was trying to tell you you are doing it wrong, I think we were just saying that relaxing a little only benefits everyone in most cases.  After getting more info, I think structure will be very important for your kids (and for your sanity) but at the same time, if you or they are stressed about it, it won't be fun for anyone.

    I think we all just want you to be able to relax a little and remember that some flexibility is necessary, and remember that you don't have to answer to anyone.

    (Sorry to anyone that doesn't want to be included in my collective "we" I don't mean to speak for anyone, but I don't think I am alone in how I took things and how I responded).

  • celticdragon77
    June 22, 2013 at 8:33 PM

    I appreciate you taking the time to respond and try to explain your point of view.

    I very much regret deleting the original post, because you are now refuting what was said within it. I have no interest in taking the time and effort to make things up. Granted, I am paraphrasing. However, the jist of what was said, was that I would end up hating homeschooling and my kids would end up hating me. Someone else said that they had also tried a classical approach and their experience was that it didn't work - and something along the lines of wanting to advise me, so I didn't have to go through that. (Both bothered me because it was not only unrelated to my post and critical of how I choose to homeschool, but assumed failure would incurr).  

    I am curious about this "a lot of people thought it was a lot". What did they think was a lot? How was it relevant to me asking people how they prepare lesson plans - and asking to see samples?  

    The school topic and laws were never discussed by me in my original post. Whatever you read was me responding to people off topic. But again, that was not the topic of the post then or now. 

    It was never discussed by me HOW I homeschool, and again, that was not the topic of the post. Yet this topic dominated the comments that were left for me. 

    It seems to me by reading through your comment, that you - and anyone else that was in that "we" - has preceived notions of who I am, what my mood or stress levels are, and how I homeschool... and they do not appear to be very accurate in the least. Maybe I am a terrible communicator and have not helped that perception. However, I have tried to be polite and patient. I have become frustrated at times, but never meant any hard feelings to anyone - and I hope my tone or meaning is not misconstrued here either. 

     

    Quoting TJandKarasMom:

    I read most, if not all, of your post and the responses and I don't remember reading anything that said "you should take my advice because of this experience" or "your kids will hate you if you do it that way."  I think most people just felt it was a lot and your original post seemed like you were kind of stressing out, IMO, sorry if I interpretted it wrong.  I know a lot of us did take it in the wrong direction, once you pointed out that your post had nothing to do with state requirements but you just wondered how people schedule and make lesson plans.  In the original post it seemed like you were stressing about how to fit it all in.

    I also think that while you say you don't answer to anyone about your choices in style of homeschooling, you did say a lot that you think the school will be on your back because they aren't happy you are pulling the kids out.  I think a lot of us wanted to be sure you remember that it really doesn't matter what opinion the school has, they can't require any more of you than the state requirements, and it is your right to educate your children how you see fit, it is not up to the school or anyone else- as you said.

    I think you are completely right that we should all come in here knowing we all do things differently, and that doesn't mean anyone is doing it wrong, we should all support and help one another.  I don't think anyone was trying to tell you you are doing it wrong, I think we were just saying that relaxing a little only benefits everyone in most cases.  After getting more info, I think structure will be very important for your kids (and for your sanity) but at the same time, if you or they are stressed about it, it won't be fun for anyone.

    I think we all just want you to be able to relax a little and remember that some flexibility is necessary, and remember that you don't have to answer to anyone.

    (Sorry to anyone that doesn't want to be included in my collective "we" I don't mean to speak for anyone, but I don't think I am alone in how I took things and how I responded).


  • romacox
    by romacox
    June 22, 2013 at 8:47 PM

    I am sorry you feel like you were criticized.  I do not think that anyone intended it that way when you asked how we did lesson plans. We were simply trying to answer your question the best we could.  I too am eclectic,  because circumstances and people change.  I am not too crazy about the public school method though, and don't try to hide that.  Not liking what the public schools are doing  is why so many here chose to home school.  Heck, even teachers and college professors complain about the method PS teachers are required to use.  But if you like it, that is your choice, and I support your right to choose.The P.S. method has been a disaster for some children, but works just fine for others. 

    When you expressed concern that your daughter was not prepared for college, I responded with resources from other home educators of high schoolers...not to criticize your method, but to answer your concern with options that have worked for others.. 

    As I listen to you write,  I think I hear something all parents go through.   When we are young we all feel invincible. We  feel like the perfect parent to those adorable kinder-gardeners.  .  But as our children reach their teen years which are typically a struggle for them, we all start to see that we made mistakes.  We  begin to fear that the "little bird"  is not prepared to leave the nest, and it is our fault.  But if they knew what we know,  they would never leave home in the first place. A very wise lady once told me that once they became  responsible, dependable....all those wonderful things we try to teach them, they don't need us anymore, and they leave home.  It is normal for you to feel a bit inadequate at this time, and for your daughter to to worry about the changes ahead of her.  But as she succeeds in life, she too will go through the invincible stage, and then the feelings of guilt we all feel as parents. 

    I know you will have done a fine job by the time your daughter leaves home.   I know this  because I hear the deep caring in your words.  Hang in there girl.  The answers you seek are at your own finger tips.  Meanwhile don't be too hard on yourself, and we will try to be more sensitive to your feelings.  Your feelings matter to us. 

  • TJandKarasMom
    June 22, 2013 at 8:55 PM

    I could tell you seemed frustrated when a lot of people took your post in a different direction than you had intended, but I don't think there is anything wrong with getting frustrated with a post going off topic when you have limited time to try to get all your information and advice in.  I didn't think you seemed harsh and certainly don't think there should be any hard feelings or anything, I think you just wanted some advice and it went a different way than you were hoping.

    I responded more below in blue.


    Quoting celticdragon77:

    I appreciate you taking the time to respond and try to explain your point of view.

    I very much regret deleting the original post, because you are now refuting what was said within it. I have no interest in taking the time and effort to make things up. Granted, I am paraphrasing. However, the jist of what was said, was that I would end up hating homeschooling and my kids would end up hating me. Someone else said that they had also tried a classical approach and their experience was that it didn't work - and something along the lines of wanting to advise me, so I didn't have to go through that. (Both bothered me because it was not only unrelated to my post and critical of how I choose to homeschool, but assumed failure would incurr).  

    I am by no means trying to refute what was said in the other post, I didn't read every single reply, but what I did read seemed to have the same feelings I did and I don't recall anyone belittling your way of hsing or saying your kids would end up hating you, I would hope no one would actually say that, though I can see how some responses could make you feel like that was their point.  I can also see why the last part bothered you, no one can assume one approach or another would end in failure for any family or child, there are so many different approaches because there are so many different homeschoolers!

    I am curious about this "a lot of people thought it was a lot". What did they think was a lot? How was it relevant to me asking people how they prepare lesson plans - and asking to see samples?  


    What I was saying seemed like "a lot" was the 900 hours and trying to fit everything in so structured, but that's just what my (and probably some others') opinion was, if it's not a lot to you and it's exactly what you want to do then that is great!  I guess we (at least I) took the original post as you trying to figure out how to fit everything in every day, I think we just took the original post differently than you meant it.  I thought you were stressing out about how to fit everything in every day, so I tried to give other ideas of ways to include hours as 'school' hours even though they may just be every day life hours, but now I know that's not what you were looking for and that you weren't stressing out about it at all. 

    The school topic and laws were never discussed by me in my original post. Whatever you read was me responding to people off topic. But again, that was not the topic of the post then or now. 

    I think we took the post in that direction because we thought you were trying to figure out how to fit everything in and a lot of us feel you don't have to do everything every day and some things just happen naturally.  I really think we just misinterpreted what kind of advice you were looking for.

    It was never discussed by me HOW I homeschool, and again, that was not the topic of the post. Yet this topic dominated the comments that were left for me. 

    It seems to me by reading through your comment, that you - and anyone else that was in that "we" - has preceived notions of who I am, what my mood or stress levels are, and how I homeschool... and they do not appear to be very accurate in the least. Maybe I am a terrible communicator and have not helped that perception. However, I have tried to be polite and patient. I have become frustrated at times, but never meant any hard feelings to anyone - and I hope my tone or meaning is not misconstrued here either. 

     I think we did perceive some things from your original post that painted a different picture than was intended.  I don't think anyone meant to hurt your feelings or take your post completely off topic.  I think we misread or misinterpreted what you were looking for for advice from us. 

    I hope I haven't given you any hard feelings or anything.  I really think that the post was just misunderstood and went way off topic from what you were looking for-though I don't think we realized we were taking it so off topic.

    I think this is a great group to come to for advice and ideas, and I would hope this experience doesn't make you hate us and not want to ask for advice!  I think a lot of ladies in here have great advice and I don't think anyone would purposely try to belittle someone else or make them feel bad about any part of what their doing.  I think we are all doing something amazing my educating our kids ourselves, it is no easy task!

    Quoting TJandKarasMom:

    I read most, if not all, of your post and the responses and I don't remember reading anything that said "you should take my advice because of this experience" or "your kids will hate you if you do it that way."  I think most people just felt it was a lot and your original post seemed like you were kind of stressing out, IMO, sorry if I interpretted it wrong.  I know a lot of us did take it in the wrong direction, once you pointed out that your post had nothing to do with state requirements but you just wondered how people schedule and make lesson plans.  In the original post it seemed like you were stressing about how to fit it all in.

    I also think that while you say you don't answer to anyone about your choices in style of homeschooling, you did say a lot that you think the school will be on your back because they aren't happy you are pulling the kids out.  I think a lot of us wanted to be sure you remember that it really doesn't matter what opinion the school has, they can't require any more of you than the state requirements, and it is your right to educate your children how you see fit, it is not up to the school or anyone else- as you said.

    I think you are completely right that we should all come in here knowing we all do things differently, and that doesn't mean anyone is doing it wrong, we should all support and help one another.  I don't think anyone was trying to tell you you are doing it wrong, I think we were just saying that relaxing a little only benefits everyone in most cases.  After getting more info, I think structure will be very important for your kids (and for your sanity) but at the same time, if you or they are stressed about it, it won't be fun for anyone.

    I think we all just want you to be able to relax a little and remember that some flexibility is necessary, and remember that you don't have to answer to anyone.

    (Sorry to anyone that doesn't want to be included in my collective "we" I don't mean to speak for anyone, but I don't think I am alone in how I took things and how I responded).




  • celticdragon77
    June 22, 2013 at 9:17 PM


    Quoting romacox:

    I am sorry you feel like you were criticized.  I do not think that anyone intended it that way when you asked how we did lesson plans. We were simply trying to answer your question the best we could.  I too am eclectic,  because circumstances and people change.  I am not too crazy about the public school method though, and don't try to hide that.  Not liking what the public schools are doing  is why so many here chose to home school.  Heck, even teachers complain about the method they are required to use.  But if you like it, that is your choice, and I support your right to choose.


    celticdragon77

    I was just using the extreme comparisons of "public school at home" and unschoolers. I didn't mean to refer to myself in that example.

    I guess I am confused how we ever even got on the topic of "how" I choose to homeschool. Do you all know how I homeschool? Why am I being given advice on that topic? I swear I don't mean this ignorantly. I am sincerely asking why this comes up when I ask about lesson plans... it keeps ending back up on my methods of homeschooling.

    But even beyond why it keeps getting on that topic... it seems wrong to me, for people to criticize HOW a person chooses to homeschool. I mean assuming they are not abusing or neglecting the kids.  

    Thank you for the words below. I know she will be fine. I am also not above learning from experience and using that towards the homeschooling of my younger kids. 



     

    When you expressed concern that your daughter was not prepared for college, I responded with resources from other home educators of high schoolers...not to criticize your method, but to answer your concern with options that have worked for others.. 

    As I listen to you write,  I think I hear something all parents go through.   When we are young we all feel invincible. We  feel like the perfect parent to those adorable kinder-gardeners.  .  But as our children reach their teen years which are typically a struggle for them, we all start to see that we made mistakes.  We  begin to fear that the "little bird"  is not prepared to leave the nest, and it is our fault.  But if they knew what we know,  they would never leave home in the first place. A very wise lady once told me that once they became  responsible, dependable....all those wonderful things we try to teach them, they don't need us anymore, and they leave home.  It is normal for you to feel a bit inadequate at this time, and for your daughter to to worry about the changes ahead of her.  But as she succeeds in life, she too will go through the invincible stage, and then the feelings of guilt we all feel as parents. 

    I know you will have done a fine job by the time your daughter leaves home.   I know this  because I hear the deep caring in your words.  Hang in there girl.  The answers you seek are at your own finger tips.  Meanwhile don't be too hard on yourself, and we will try to be more sensitive to your feelings.  Your feelings matter to us. 


  • celticdragon77
    June 22, 2013 at 9:39 PM

    Thank You. I really do appreciate that you took the time to respond to this. I didn't mean to make a dramatic case out of it, but I chose to just hit it head on so that the issue didn't keep popping back up. My time is so limited and it is not worth my time and effort to fight back on criticism or misconceptions of how I choose to homeschool everytime I seek advice - or to try and keep my posts on topic. All of our time is precious. I wouldnt want other homeschoolers, especially new ones, feeling like I did. You are saying that wasn't what was meant, and it was just an misunderstanding, and I agree in large part. 

    Quoting TJandKarasMom:

    I could tell you seemed frustrated when a lot of people took your post in a different direction than you had intended, but I don't think there is anything wrong with getting frustrated with a post going off topic when you have limited time to try to get all your information and advice in.  I didn't think you seemed harsh and certainly don't think there should be any hard feelings or anything, I think you just wanted some advice and it went a different way than you were hoping.

    I responded more below in blue.


    Quoting celticdragon77:

    I appreciate you taking the time to respond and try to explain your point of view.

    I very much regret deleting the original post, because you are now refuting what was said within it. I have no interest in taking the time and effort to make things up. Granted, I am paraphrasing. However, the jist of what was said, was that I would end up hating homeschooling and my kids would end up hating me. Someone else said that they had also tried a classical approach and their experience was that it didn't work - and something along the lines of wanting to advise me, so I didn't have to go through that. (Both bothered me because it was not only unrelated to my post and critical of how I choose to homeschool, but assumed failure would incurr).  

    I am by no means trying to refute what was said in the other post, I didn't read every single reply, but what I did read seemed to have the same feelings I did and I don't recall anyone belittling your way of hsing or saying your kids would end up hating you, I would hope no one would actually say that, though I can see how some responses could make you feel like that was their point.  I can also see why the last part bothered you, no one can assume one approach or another would end in failure for any family or child, there are so many different approaches because there are so many different homeschoolers!

    I am curious about this "a lot of people thought it was a lot". What did they think was a lot? How was it relevant to me asking people how they prepare lesson plans - and asking to see samples?  


    What I was saying seemed like "a lot" was the 900 hours and trying to fit everything in so structured, but that's just what my (and probably some others') opinion was, if it's not a lot to you and it's exactly what you want to do then that is great!  I guess we (at least I) took the original post as you trying to figure out how to fit everything in every day, I think we just took the original post differently than you meant it.  I thought you were stressing out about how to fit everything in every day, so I tried to give other ideas of ways to include hours as 'school' hours even though they may just be every day life hours, but now I know that's not what you were looking for and that you weren't stressing out about it at all. 

    The school topic and laws were never discussed by me in my original post. Whatever you read was me responding to people off topic. But again, that was not the topic of the post then or now. 

    I think we took the post in that direction because we thought you were trying to figure out how to fit everything in and a lot of us feel you don't have to do everything every day and some things just happen naturally.  I really think we just misinterpreted what kind of advice you were looking for.

    It was never discussed by me HOW I homeschool, and again, that was not the topic of the post. Yet this topic dominated the comments that were left for me. 

    It seems to me by reading through your comment, that you - and anyone else that was in that "we" - has preceived notions of who I am, what my mood or stress levels are, and how I homeschool... and they do not appear to be very accurate in the least. Maybe I am a terrible communicator and have not helped that perception. However, I have tried to be polite and patient. I have become frustrated at times, but never meant any hard feelings to anyone - and I hope my tone or meaning is not misconstrued here either. 

     I think we did perceive some things from your original post that painted a different picture than was intended.  I don't think anyone meant to hurt your feelings or take your post completely off topic.  I think we misread or misinterpreted what you were looking for for advice from us. 

    I hope I haven't given you any hard feelings or anything.  I really think that the post was just misunderstood and went way off topic from what you were looking for-though I don't think we realized we were taking it so off topic.

    I think this is a great group to come to for advice and ideas, and I would hope this experience doesn't make you hate us and not want to ask for advice!  I think a lot of ladies in here have great advice and I don't think anyone would purposely try to belittle someone else or make them feel bad about any part of what their doing.  I think we are all doing something amazing my educating our kids ourselves, it is no easy task!

    Quoting TJandKarasMom:

    I read most, if not all, of your post and the responses and I don't remember reading anything that said "you should take my advice because of this experience" or "your kids will hate you if you do it that way."  I think most people just felt it was a lot and your original post seemed like you were kind of stressing out, IMO, sorry if I interpretted it wrong.  I know a lot of us did take it in the wrong direction, once you pointed out that your post had nothing to do with state requirements but you just wondered how people schedule and make lesson plans.  In the original post it seemed like you were stressing about how to fit it all in.

    I also think that while you say you don't answer to anyone about your choices in style of homeschooling, you did say a lot that you think the school will be on your back because they aren't happy you are pulling the kids out.  I think a lot of us wanted to be sure you remember that it really doesn't matter what opinion the school has, they can't require any more of you than the state requirements, and it is your right to educate your children how you see fit, it is not up to the school or anyone else- as you said.

    I think you are completely right that we should all come in here knowing we all do things differently, and that doesn't mean anyone is doing it wrong, we should all support and help one another.  I don't think anyone was trying to tell you you are doing it wrong, I think we were just saying that relaxing a little only benefits everyone in most cases.  After getting more info, I think structure will be very important for your kids (and for your sanity) but at the same time, if you or they are stressed about it, it won't be fun for anyone.

    I think we all just want you to be able to relax a little and remember that some flexibility is necessary, and remember that you don't have to answer to anyone.

    (Sorry to anyone that doesn't want to be included in my collective "we" I don't mean to speak for anyone, but I don't think I am alone in how I took things and how I responded).





Homeschooling Moms

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN