Homeschooling Moms

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Pumamama
3 hours into summer vacation...doubting the homeschool idea
June 21, 2013 at 5:03 PM

I'm kind of kidding. Here are my main concerns. My soon to be 7 year old loves being part of a group. I worry she will be deprived without that. She will socilaize plenty, but will miss growing up with the same people. 

Then my two girls are twenty months apart and just battle over mom's attention whenever they're around me. I know they should grow out of it but it is definitely a concern right now.

What do you do about the sibling rivalry and homeschooling?



Replies

  • CatFishMom
    June 21, 2013 at 5:31 PM

    My little guy is three years younger than my older. I give him paper to color on, dittos to do with us, have picture books that arent too distracting for me to work with him on while instructing the older on his own dittos.

  • Bleacheddecay
    June 21, 2013 at 8:57 PM

    Sibling rivalry: don't reward it. Separate them. No attention at all.

    Make time alone with you for each of them. While you do that, have them do something like an educational computer game.

    My girl loved being part of a group too but she loved homeschooling and her new groups MORE.

    I used to tell my two that they were required to do an education board game together each week. If they couldn't do that without fighting they had to go in time out and then extra chores to do. If they were really bad they had to write sentences. They HATED writing sentences.

    I also had the older one teach the younger one certain subjects.

    What really chapped was when the younger one was better at something (using a physical education thing) and was assigned to teach it to the older one.

    We also, at my oldest child's request used the red, caution and green light system and marble reward or penalties for good and bad behavior. Sometimes we wrote out behavior contracts with rewards and consequences short and long term until a better behavior habit was formed.

    This is a good book IMO:

    Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

    I also liked this book by the same authors:

    How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

  • jen2150
    by jen2150
    June 21, 2013 at 10:27 PM
    I don't let them fight. I teach them how to resolve disagreements. If they fight over a toy then that toy gets put away for a day or two. I think the longer you homeschool the less sibling rivalry you have. Some kids take longer. Also my son sometimes argue but I wouldn't say that we have sibling rivalry. I am constantly talking them about showing respect to one another. My boys are 18 months apart and while they have their moments they get along fairly well. It also important for them to see how adults handle conflict the correct way. As far socializing my sons have a lot of group activity and have friends they see every day. My sons are 9 and 11 and don't try and get my attention like they did when they are younger.
  • blueyedbaker
    June 22, 2013 at 8:22 AM

    I had the same concern with my youngest which is 7 now. She is Miss. Social Butterfly. She loves to play with her friends and actually liked PS but in the end had asked to be home schooled. She is my needy child too which doesn't make any sense to me. Before she finished kindergarten in PS I got all her friends phone numbers and addresses. Any time we have a party they are invited. We have big birthday parties and her all her PS friends come and we have a few play dates a month so she still keeps in touch with them so she is still growing up with them.  We have made a few friends with other HS kids in our area and they get play dates with them more often. My oldest has made many more friends (that are in PS) than I thought she would. She is not a social person at all and only had a few friends at PS when she went not that she couldn't make friends she is the type that she only had so much room for friends and once that quota was filled she didn't need any more. She's better now, she makes friends every time we go to a party. She has grown more being HSed than when she was in PS, weird huh;)

    Home schooling two girls is not as hard as I thought it would be. They get on each others nerves most every day, and it seems that at the same time they need my help. I usually make sure my oldest, which is 11, has her assignments layed out so she pretty much knows what to do and she can do with out my help for a time. Then I have to sit with my youngest and go through each subject with her.  She still needs my help, more than my 6th grader does anyways.

  • romacox
    by romacox
    June 22, 2013 at 8:27 AM

    1.  Socialization:  There are support groups (You can find them through your Stat's Home School Association) that you can join. They have play days, celebrations,mentor-ship with experienced home educators, lesson co-ops, and more.  I have found these groups are more polite, and taught my children better social skills than are found in the public school system/

    2. Arguing: I also found my children got along better when not receiving the negative influence found in public schools.   children in the support groups get along better with all ages  (even adults and younger children).  Perhaps because they are exposed to them in the support groups. 

  • mom2Bellarose
    June 22, 2013 at 2:00 PM

    I have the same situation here with my two girls. My oldest is 7 also and LOVES being in groups and just being with people in general, I would suggest just looking for groups that she can be around the same kids every week. We signed up for AHG last year and she loves it. I am registering her with a co-op this fall so that will be the same group of kids. You have to remember that even going to PS doesn't mean they will grow up with the same kid group of kids. All during my school years my group of friends constantly changed. Either they moved away, I moved away or we drifted apart.

  • Pumamama
    June 23, 2013 at 12:04 AM

    You guys rock. I just came back from a hs conference and the more information I gather, the more this feels right. It also seems like other options are becoming less and less realistic. It has occured to me that it will help being with me all day, as far as the rivalry goes. I'm excited. As long as I have something worked out to go to a couple of physical therapy appointments, I look forward to everything else. Thank you so much, and to Bleacheddecay and romacox for the links.

  • Boobah
    by Boobah
    June 23, 2013 at 7:20 AM
    We also have homeschool groups, and she has a couple BFF's. Lol
    sibling rivalry - my kids get along great 99% of the time. But they do like to irritate each other too. It is to be expected when you are together 24/7 literally. I make sure they have time apart. Older one might go to her friends house, younger might go to mamaws house, I take one shopping with me at a time when I can.

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