Homeschooling Moms

Featured Posts
HopeJoyPeace1
I will be Failing my son. He will be repeating 4th grade.***UPDATED***
May 12, 2013 at 5:11 PM

This year even though his average is 80+ this year in all the things he did do...

KEEP IN MIND THE WORDING HERE.. THAT WHICH HE DID DO.. is 80% 

But 40% of the material that we were supposed to do he litterally had to do over and over and over again..

And we have only finished 50-60% of the materials.

Why you ask..

Litterally he has rebelled at every turn. 

He will sit with his head in his hands twirling his pencil. He will tell me he did the work.. Then when I go to correct it.. I litterally have found doodles on the lines.(More than one time!) I have tried incentives, I have tried downright bribes. (Upto and encluding 2 weeks of camp this summer, a summer pass to theme parks and even The new wiiU) He just refused to co-operate! So I have told him he is going to have summer school. And that we will start next year with a different curriculum but that he will be doing 4th grade work again as I refuse to let him move on to new materials until he shows he is competant and has mastered the stuff from this year. 

Then I also told him that starting today if he starts to act out/ say how much he hates doing school work he will be sat in a corner and left there all day long! When I say all day long.. I mean from the time he wakes up to the time he returns to bed aside from trips to the bathroom or meals. I also told him that work that I know is not up to his abilities will bring about 1 hour of the same sitting.. 

~~Warning~~

I know that some of you ladies won't agree with these measures.. However after an entire school year of him not getting his work done, and not co-operating.. I know it is being a bit harsh.. atleast to some! I am an old fashioned kind of momma.. I don't tolerate disobediance and I have tried everything this year to not have to get to this level.. But when he insists on making litterally the entire home a den of anger, frustration and misery for the past almost 12 months (I started him last year on homeschooling just after he got out of public school.. Hoping we could get him caught up) so we have been homeschooling him every monday-friday since June... with the exception of 3(1week)vacations. So like I said he has made us all miserable trying to fight the homeschooling.. And I have decided he won't be given the liberty of succeeding in his attempts. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~UPDATE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok well I talked with a local woman who has been homeschooling here in NY for some time! To boot her husband is very up to date on laws.. So they helped me know about the legal requirements of nys! And I have been herassing myself and my son for most of the year for almost no dang reason!

So were gonna do some morning work each day during the summer but aside from some catchup stuff were taking it easy starting monday!

I will be failing him still But I have informed him it is as much my fault as his. 

Thanks to all(well most of you anyhow) you ladies for letting me post this and for giving some great constructive criticizm... 

Replies

  • HopeJoyPeace1
    May 13, 2013 at 2:44 PM

    Everything in Orange is stuff I will start working on being open to...This comming year..




    Quoting Jlee4249:

    Lapbooks, notebooking, crafts to integrate science and/or history to include lab experiments in the kitchen and even cooking things from cultures or history lessons... Break things up.

    One of my hyper kids gets to sit on an exercise ball while working at the table, instead of a chair. The movement helps him concentrate. We find ways to bring math (counting by 5s, 10s, etc) outside w/sidewalk chalk & jumping.
    History & geography, we create collage pages (for their notebooks) complete w/flaps and pop-ups of information. We cuddle up and read diaries/journals of frontiersmen or ("the Royal Diaries") princesses that became Queen(s) of England/France/etc.

    For every topic that your curriculum touches, find something fun to correspond with it: a few books from the library, magic school bus books/movies, hands-on crafts, etc to drive the lessons home.
    We made salt crystals to show evaporation, created our own clouds, our plants are in glass containers too see the whole plant down to the roots. We had a snail "cage" for a few months to learn about them. Right now we have earthworms in a jar of clay... Go outside the boxed curriculum!!!!
    MAKE it interesting for your kid.

    Public school just doesn't work for some people b/c they expect everyone to learn the same way: sit still, don't speak, your feelings don't matter, do this worksheet, readthis book, now remember everything.
    Some kids need to move. Some need to see it, say it, and even do it. Watching a film to coincide (or even replace a text) helps bring concepts to life, making it easier to retain.

    After studying the English settlements, we started a garden and started trying a lot of tea!
    Find out what a rabbit trail is, in regards to homeschool and allow one every week or so. Rip up your schedule, just set your goals and work towards completing the goals, not a to-do list.
    something tells me that would be difficult for you. In this situation, adaptability should be a two-way street.

    Ease up on the kid. Find a way to discover fun, for his sake and yours.
    We all decided to homeschool b/c public school doesn't work... So why mimic at home what already doesn't work?

    Besides, he sounds like he takes after you. All that stubbornness is going to ruin your relationship. Find your flexibility. Sit with him & talk to your son. Explain why you're pushing him, or do you even know? Is it b/c you're claiming your dominance or is it to check off a to-do list? Show him the curriculum & what needs to be done. They're not stupid at that age, he'll
    get it. Work with him, would he prefer to do it on a clipboard, sitting upside down on the couch or laying on the floor....?
    Make your to-do list & hand it to him. If he gets it done before noon, he's done for the day. If not, he'll have "homework" while everyone else is having fun. But back off!
    Your mighty I-am-the-ruler-of-this-domain attitude would make any normal person rebel...and he's just a kid. Keep it up and you'll ruin any chance of having a good relationship w/your future teenager.

    That which is in blue... Good point!

    That which is in Pink.... YES HE DOES!

    Flexibility... I don't know much about that.. I am a planner.. and then I tend to just go from A-B-C-D KWIM?But I have explained.. I have shown him the requirements..I even show him the quarterly reports I have had to submit!

    The key is here in the Green... I have tried that.. He will just not do it.. And then whine the entire time he can't do the fun stuff.. And then still not do the work! So what do you do when they just plain out refuse!

    He did it in public school.. He's doing it now in homeschool... WHAT THE HECK CAN I DO!?



  • HopeJoyPeace1
    May 13, 2013 at 2:46 PM

    Ya.. HUN TRUST ME.. I would love to live in another state that allowed me to be much more laid back.. 

    I have thought about moving just for that reason.. But DH says no! That we will just have to stay here cause we own our home and his job isn't much but it pays for the curriculum and he isn't interested in uprooting from a job he knows and gets such great benefits from!

    Quoting AutymsMommy:



    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    The reason I do it this way is because of my state guidelines.

    I am a New York state resident..

    These are my REQUIREMENTS

    I am required to teach all of these  arithmetic, reading, spelling, writing, the English language, geography, United States history, science, health education, music, visual arts, physical education, bilingual education

    Each of these is to be taugh as a unit which means 6,480 minutes of instruction per school year.

    Which is to be taught in 180 calendar days.. meaning 36 hours a week... 

    And in addition we are to be able to pass each of his yearly tests... AS NYS requires a Yearly Assesment test!



    Quoting AutymsMommy:


    Since you said you're all for constructive criticism (lol!)...

    Look at this schedule you posted. It is every bit as heavy and long as a public school schedule. Keep in mind that ps schedules look this way to account for many interruptions: walking to specials, recess, lunch, raised hands from 30 kids asking questions, taking time to account for children who need differentiated instruction, bathroom breaks, random misbehaviour, etc. There is NO reason for a homeschool day, for a 4th grader, to be this long.

    I might suggest working in the order listed, without timing the subjects; in other words:

    Math

    Language Arts

    Social Studies

    *Lunch*

    Science

    Reading

    Health

    Also, keep in mind that health IS science (or could be integrated into science) and reading IS language arts - there is no need to have separate blocks for those subjects.

    If I might propose a different schedule, it would look like this:

    Mon/Wed/Friday

    Math

    Reading

    Writing

    Science/Health

    Tues/Thursday

    Math

    Reading

    Grammar

    History

    He doesn't need science and history every day of the week. My husband was very well educated in a private Catholic school, and recalls a similar structure - history and science alternating days.

    On that note, about the defiance. Have you tried just ignoring it? I mean, don't put time slots on everything - but let him know (once) that it isn't over until it's finished.

    Also, take into account that something may sincerely be too hard for him. Take a step back and evaluate before blowing up - is he slacking because he's afraid to fail... or afraid to disappoint by admitting he doesn't understand it?

    Next year, when you use a different curriculum, I would suggest going completely off the cuff FUN with the curricula. Some of my favorites for this age group:

    (whatever math works best for your son's learning style)

    History - story of the world with activity book

    Science - Ellen McHenry units and Intellego units

    Language Arts - Royal Fireworks Press (one of their packages would cover grammar, writing, poetry, and vocabulary)

    Reading - interest led

    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    J IS 10

    9=MATH

    10=Language Arts

    11=Social Studies

    12 Lunch

    1=Science

    2= Reading

    3=Health

    And like I said in my post I will be changing the curriculum very soon. However I do truely beleive that children need to learn how to do as they are told. I have tried many hand's on lessons and I have even tried to do feild trips.. None of that seems to motivate him. For history one week we took him to a local place which has houses from each time period in american history. And in each of the homes there are people telling about that time period.. He sat down on one of the steps and told us all how boring history was and how he didn't want to go to any more of the homes.. After we had payed for a weekend pass to take him all through it.. so 2 days of our pass were wasted because mister cranky pants wanted to gripe and whine.



    Quoting 101stwife:

    How old is he? It honestly sounds like maybe you need a different approach. How do you run your home school day? I know that for one of my sons he does really well first thing in the morning and likes to get his work done right away. Then my other son is not a morning person and does much better at around 10am. He also does better with doing a lesson or 2 and then having a break and then doing another lesson or 2. Maybe he would do better with a more hands on curriculum rather than seat work?





    Yes we've been trying to stay on top of the requirements... BECAUSE we do have alot of them to keep up with!


    Holy Carp! Harsh state requirements!

    Maybe someone who lives in NY (a veteren homeschooler there) can give better advice. I do think he sounds burnt out though. Apparently those who made the guidelines aren't aware that homechoolers do not have the hundreds of daily distractions public school teachers have...



  • mem82
    by mem82
    May 13, 2013 at 3:10 PM

    Remember that you are the one that is deciding what is a teachable hour. If he helps cook that can be count ed as math and even science or health. If he reads a book and answers questions, that is reading and writing. Heck, if he is writing and reading on something history or science related, that is an hour for those subjects, too. LOL It works the same way a lawyer bills you. If he calls you or sends a fax for you, he counts that as 15 minutes (or more) of billable service even though it took less than five minutes. It works the same way in homeschooling. A 10 minute lecture on brushing the teeth better at night can and is counted as time towards health.

    I know a few homeschoolers in NY. Here in Ohio, we also have 180 (they might have changed it to 190) hours.

    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    Ya.. HUN TRUST ME.. I would love to live in another state that allowed me to be much more laid back.. 

    I have thought about moving just for that reason.. But DH says no! That we will just have to stay here cause we own our home and his job isn't much but it pays for the curriculum and he isn't interested in uprooting from a job he knows and gets such great benefits from!

    Quoting AutymsMommy:



    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    The reason I do it this way is because of my state guidelines.

    I am a New York state resident..

    These are my REQUIREMENTS

    I am required to teach all of these  arithmetic, reading, spelling, writing, the English language, geography, United States history, science, health education, music, visual arts, physical education, bilingual education

    Each of these is to be taugh as a unit which means 6,480 minutes of instruction per school year.

    Which is to be taught in 180 calendar days.. meaning 36 hours a week... 

    And in addition we are to be able to pass each of his yearly tests... AS NYS requires a Yearly Assesment test!



    Quoting AutymsMommy:


    Since you said you're all for constructive criticism (lol!)...

    Look at this schedule you posted. It is every bit as heavy and long as a public school schedule. Keep in mind that ps schedules look this way to account for many interruptions: walking to specials, recess, lunch, raised hands from 30 kids asking questions, taking time to account for children who need differentiated instruction, bathroom breaks, random misbehaviour, etc. There is NO reason for a homeschool day, for a 4th grader, to be this long.

    I might suggest working in the order listed, without timing the subjects; in other words:

    Math

    Language Arts

    Social Studies

    *Lunch*

    Science

    Reading

    Health

    Also, keep in mind that health IS science (or could be integrated into science) and reading IS language arts - there is no need to have separate blocks for those subjects.

    If I might propose a different schedule, it would look like this:

    Mon/Wed/Friday

    Math

    Reading

    Writing

    Science/Health

    Tues/Thursday

    Math

    Reading

    Grammar

    History

    He doesn't need science and history every day of the week. My husband was very well educated in a private Catholic school, and recalls a similar structure - history and science alternating days.

    On that note, about the defiance. Have you tried just ignoring it? I mean, don't put time slots on everything - but let him know (once) that it isn't over until it's finished.

    Also, take into account that something may sincerely be too hard for him. Take a step back and evaluate before blowing up - is he slacking because he's afraid to fail... or afraid to disappoint by admitting he doesn't understand it?

    Next year, when you use a different curriculum, I would suggest going completely off the cuff FUN with the curricula. Some of my favorites for this age group:

    (whatever math works best for your son's learning style)

    History - story of the world with activity book

    Science - Ellen McHenry units and Intellego units

    Language Arts - Royal Fireworks Press (one of their packages would cover grammar, writing, poetry, and vocabulary)

    Reading - interest led

    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    J IS 10

    9=MATH

    10=Language Arts

    11=Social Studies

    12 Lunch

    1=Science

    2= Reading

    3=Health

    And like I said in my post I will be changing the curriculum very soon. However I do truely beleive that children need to learn how to do as they are told. I have tried many hand's on lessons and I have even tried to do feild trips.. None of that seems to motivate him. For history one week we took him to a local place which has houses from each time period in american history. And in each of the homes there are people telling about that time period.. He sat down on one of the steps and told us all how boring history was and how he didn't want to go to any more of the homes.. After we had payed for a weekend pass to take him all through it.. so 2 days of our pass were wasted because mister cranky pants wanted to gripe and whine.



    Quoting 101stwife:

    How old is he? It honestly sounds like maybe you need a different approach. How do you run your home school day? I know that for one of my sons he does really well first thing in the morning and likes to get his work done right away. Then my other son is not a morning person and does much better at around 10am. He also does better with doing a lesson or 2 and then having a break and then doing another lesson or 2. Maybe he would do better with a more hands on curriculum rather than seat work?





    Yes we've been trying to stay on top of the requirements... BECAUSE we do have alot of them to keep up with!


    Holy Carp! Harsh state requirements!

    Maybe someone who lives in NY (a veteren homeschooler there) can give better advice. I do think he sounds burnt out though. Apparently those who made the guidelines aren't aware that homechoolers do not have the hundreds of daily distractions public school teachers have...




  • AutymsMommy
    May 13, 2013 at 3:11 PM

    There HAS to be some way around this. Would you mind if I ask on another, much more active, board I belong to?

    I do know of even unschoolers who do their own thing while fulfilling NY state requirements (not suggesting you unschool; it certainly isn't my cuppa tea and not something I would suggest, personally).


    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    Ya.. HUN TRUST ME.. I would love to live in another state that allowed me to be much more laid back.. 

    I have thought about moving just for that reason.. But DH says no! That we will just have to stay here cause we own our home and his job isn't much but it pays for the curriculum and he isn't interested in uprooting from a job he knows and gets such great benefits from!

    Quoting AutymsMommy:



    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    The reason I do it this way is because of my state guidelines.

    I am a New York state resident..

    These are my REQUIREMENTS

    I am required to teach all of these  arithmetic, reading, spelling, writing, the English language, geography, United States history, science, health education, music, visual arts, physical education, bilingual education

    Each of these is to be taugh as a unit which means 6,480 minutes of instruction per school year.

    Which is to be taught in 180 calendar days.. meaning 36 hours a week... 

    And in addition we are to be able to pass each of his yearly tests... AS NYS requires a Yearly Assesment test!



    Quoting AutymsMommy:


    Since you said you're all for constructive criticism (lol!)...

    Look at this schedule you posted. It is every bit as heavy and long as a public school schedule. Keep in mind that ps schedules look this way to account for many interruptions: walking to specials, recess, lunch, raised hands from 30 kids asking questions, taking time to account for children who need differentiated instruction, bathroom breaks, random misbehaviour, etc. There is NO reason for a homeschool day, for a 4th grader, to be this long.

    I might suggest working in the order listed, without timing the subjects; in other words:

    Math

    Language Arts

    Social Studies

    *Lunch*

    Science

    Reading

    Health

    Also, keep in mind that health IS science (or could be integrated into science) and reading IS language arts - there is no need to have separate blocks for those subjects.

    If I might propose a different schedule, it would look like this:

    Mon/Wed/Friday

    Math

    Reading

    Writing

    Science/Health

    Tues/Thursday

    Math

    Reading

    Grammar

    History

    He doesn't need science and history every day of the week. My husband was very well educated in a private Catholic school, and recalls a similar structure - history and science alternating days.

    On that note, about the defiance. Have you tried just ignoring it? I mean, don't put time slots on everything - but let him know (once) that it isn't over until it's finished.

    Also, take into account that something may sincerely be too hard for him. Take a step back and evaluate before blowing up - is he slacking because he's afraid to fail... or afraid to disappoint by admitting he doesn't understand it?

    Next year, when you use a different curriculum, I would suggest going completely off the cuff FUN with the curricula. Some of my favorites for this age group:

    (whatever math works best for your son's learning style)

    History - story of the world with activity book

    Science - Ellen McHenry units and Intellego units

    Language Arts - Royal Fireworks Press (one of their packages would cover grammar, writing, poetry, and vocabulary)

    Reading - interest led

    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    J IS 10

    9=MATH

    10=Language Arts

    11=Social Studies

    12 Lunch

    1=Science

    2= Reading

    3=Health

    And like I said in my post I will be changing the curriculum very soon. However I do truely beleive that children need to learn how to do as they are told. I have tried many hand's on lessons and I have even tried to do feild trips.. None of that seems to motivate him. For history one week we took him to a local place which has houses from each time period in american history. And in each of the homes there are people telling about that time period.. He sat down on one of the steps and told us all how boring history was and how he didn't want to go to any more of the homes.. After we had payed for a weekend pass to take him all through it.. so 2 days of our pass were wasted because mister cranky pants wanted to gripe and whine.



    Quoting 101stwife:

    How old is he? It honestly sounds like maybe you need a different approach. How do you run your home school day? I know that for one of my sons he does really well first thing in the morning and likes to get his work done right away. Then my other son is not a morning person and does much better at around 10am. He also does better with doing a lesson or 2 and then having a break and then doing another lesson or 2. Maybe he would do better with a more hands on curriculum rather than seat work?





    Yes we've been trying to stay on top of the requirements... BECAUSE we do have alot of them to keep up with!


    Holy Carp! Harsh state requirements!

    Maybe someone who lives in NY (a veteren homeschooler there) can give better advice. I do think he sounds burnt out though. Apparently those who made the guidelines aren't aware that homechoolers do not have the hundreds of daily distractions public school teachers have...





  • HopeJoyPeace1
    May 13, 2013 at 3:13 PM

    Girl if you can find me a way to follow the guidelines without driving myself NUTS.. I have ABSOLUTELY no problem..Hugs TY!

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    There HAS to be some way around this. Would you mind if I ask on another, much more active, board I belong to?

    I do know of even unschoolers who do their own thing while fulfilling NY state requirements (not suggesting you unschool; it certainly isn't my cuppa tea and not something I would suggest, personally).


    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    Ya.. HUN TRUST ME.. I would love to live in another state that allowed me to be much more laid back.. 

    I have thought about moving just for that reason.. But DH says no! That we will just have to stay here cause we own our home and his job isn't much but it pays for the curriculum and he isn't interested in uprooting from a job he knows and gets such great benefits from!

    Quoting AutymsMommy:



    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    The reason I do it this way is because of my state guidelines.

    I am a New York state resident..

    These are my REQUIREMENTS

    I am required to teach all of these  arithmetic, reading, spelling, writing, the English language, geography, United States history, science, health education, music, visual arts, physical education, bilingual education

    Each of these is to be taugh as a unit which means 6,480 minutes of instruction per school year.

    Which is to be taught in 180 calendar days.. meaning 36 hours a week... 

    And in addition we are to be able to pass each of his yearly tests... AS NYS requires a Yearly Assesment test!



    Quoting AutymsMommy:


    Since you said you're all for constructive criticism (lol!)...

    Look at this schedule you posted. It is every bit as heavy and long as a public school schedule. Keep in mind that ps schedules look this way to account for many interruptions: walking to specials, recess, lunch, raised hands from 30 kids asking questions, taking time to account for children who need differentiated instruction, bathroom breaks, random misbehaviour, etc. There is NO reason for a homeschool day, for a 4th grader, to be this long.

    I might suggest working in the order listed, without timing the subjects; in other words:

    Math

    Language Arts

    Social Studies

    *Lunch*

    Science

    Reading

    Health

    Also, keep in mind that health IS science (or could be integrated into science) and reading IS language arts - there is no need to have separate blocks for those subjects.

    If I might propose a different schedule, it would look like this:

    Mon/Wed/Friday

    Math

    Reading

    Writing

    Science/Health

    Tues/Thursday

    Math

    Reading

    Grammar

    History

    He doesn't need science and history every day of the week. My husband was very well educated in a private Catholic school, and recalls a similar structure - history and science alternating days.

    On that note, about the defiance. Have you tried just ignoring it? I mean, don't put time slots on everything - but let him know (once) that it isn't over until it's finished.

    Also, take into account that something may sincerely be too hard for him. Take a step back and evaluate before blowing up - is he slacking because he's afraid to fail... or afraid to disappoint by admitting he doesn't understand it?

    Next year, when you use a different curriculum, I would suggest going completely off the cuff FUN with the curricula. Some of my favorites for this age group:

    (whatever math works best for your son's learning style)

    History - story of the world with activity book

    Science - Ellen McHenry units and Intellego units

    Language Arts - Royal Fireworks Press (one of their packages would cover grammar, writing, poetry, and vocabulary)

    Reading - interest led

    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    J IS 10

    9=MATH

    10=Language Arts

    11=Social Studies

    12 Lunch

    1=Science

    2= Reading

    3=Health

    And like I said in my post I will be changing the curriculum very soon. However I do truely beleive that children need to learn how to do as they are told. I have tried many hand's on lessons and I have even tried to do feild trips.. None of that seems to motivate him. For history one week we took him to a local place which has houses from each time period in american history. And in each of the homes there are people telling about that time period.. He sat down on one of the steps and told us all how boring history was and how he didn't want to go to any more of the homes.. After we had payed for a weekend pass to take him all through it.. so 2 days of our pass were wasted because mister cranky pants wanted to gripe and whine.



    Quoting 101stwife:

    How old is he? It honestly sounds like maybe you need a different approach. How do you run your home school day? I know that for one of my sons he does really well first thing in the morning and likes to get his work done right away. Then my other son is not a morning person and does much better at around 10am. He also does better with doing a lesson or 2 and then having a break and then doing another lesson or 2. Maybe he would do better with a more hands on curriculum rather than seat work?





    Yes we've been trying to stay on top of the requirements... BECAUSE we do have alot of them to keep up with!


    Holy Carp! Harsh state requirements!

    Maybe someone who lives in NY (a veteren homeschooler there) can give better advice. I do think he sounds burnt out though. Apparently those who made the guidelines aren't aware that homechoolers do not have the hundreds of daily distractions public school teachers have...







  • energygirl
    May 13, 2013 at 3:17 PM

    I wonder if you found a co-op (so he had other homeschool kids with him some of the time) if that might help? 

  • celticdragon77
    May 13, 2013 at 8:33 PM

    I like how this post is shaping up. Good for the op for being brave enough to bare your problems here and keeping an open mind to what others were saying!!! There are so many moms on Cafemom who do not have the maturity to do so. You have a good heart and mind. I wish you and your family the best.

  • KickButtMama
    May 13, 2013 at 10:06 PM

    I'm named the Kickbuttmama for a reason, I have no problem with turning my home into a boot camp - I do not tolerate disobedience or attitude. BUT, if none of your incentives worked, then it sounds like he has a problem with the style of learning - in which case browbeating, punishments, etc will do nothing but drive a wedge between you. I'd have him do school work this summer but I'd have him give input on the style of learning. I learn best by writing things out, so initially I had heavy writing in our curriculum, and it was a battle to complete even elementary review! Finally I had him do a project on ancient China. And I paid attention to how he processed information, and I was shocked to realize he is an audio/visual learner. Once I changed our curriculum to this style - no more battles!,

  • celticdragon77
    May 13, 2013 at 11:38 PM

    Oh, don't get me wrong, I do NOT tolerate disrespect in my house!

    I have excellent relationships with my kids, we joke around a lot and talk openly. I learned a long time ago that a sense of humor goes a long way. I get a lot more out of my kids because of it. 

    However, I also can put them in line, immediately!, when I need to. It doesn't happen too often because they usually do what they need to do. But I have definitely had my drastic, I will NOT take this anymore, extreme parenting moments. 

    My kids are so different with their personalities and learn extremely different from each other. Even I have things (like OCD) that make parenting three kids a challenge at times. But if I was to parent my kids, or teach them, with just one method, we would have killed each other years ago. If I was "MOM the enforcer" over them - whether at parenting or teaching, they would struggle with resenting me. They wouldn't even want to homeschool. 

    Instead, I am there as their guide through this journey of exploring knowledge. I choose to do it in a positive, peaceful, loving manner. I am there to nourish them and their environment.

    NOW, if they do not want to cooperate and were disruptive - they would go back to public school. Simple as that!!! I am offering a certain kind of option here at home. If they do not have the maturity or desire to participate in it, then they need to go back to school. For one, they would ruin the homeschool environment for everyone else, and second, my state has strict laws that "I" have to answer for. 

    Disrespect towards anyone is not tolerated in my house. Otherwise they get all of me coming down with great authority on their butts. They know it! But they love our relationship so much and they know we can talk and work together on issues that arise... Because of this, behavior issues are really rare.

    I run my house on the same level that I expect them to go out into society with. I want them to learn those tools at home. I want them thinking similar to how they would need to out in the real world.

    I would NEVER put a child in a corner from the time they woke up till the time they went to bed!!! NEVER!!! I am the example to my kids of how authority should behave in life. So whether my child becomes authority of another or is under authority of another - my kids need to recognize what is and is not acceptable. My kids are learning how to treat authority. How to question authority. How to work with authority to resolve an issue. I do not want to crush my child under the weight of authority. I want them to flourish and grow. Be inspired and be good leaders. 

    Quoting KickButtMama:

    I'm named the Kickbuttmama for a reason, I have no problem with turning my home into a boot camp - I do not tolerate disobedience or attitude. BUT, if none of your incentives worked, then it sounds like he has a problem with the style of learning - in which case browbeating, punishments, etc will do nothing but drive a wedge between you. I'd have him do school work this summer but I'd have him give input on the style of learning. I learn best by writing things out, so initially I had heavy writing in our curriculum, and it was a battle to complete even elementary review! Finally I had him do a project on ancient China. And I paid attention to how he processed information, and I was shocked to realize he is an audio/visual learner. Once I changed our curriculum to this style - no more battles!,


  • jeweldragons
    May 14, 2013 at 5:57 AM

    I think perhaps you should see what his learning style is.  This can be auditory, visual, kinesthetic or a combination of all three!  Also see what his multiple intelligences are and then cater the curriculum to the style he learns in best.  Punishing him is going to just make him hate schooling and drive a wedge between the two of you.  Are there any co-ops that you can maybe join so he gets some interaction with other kids and he can learn some new things? Try taking a break during the summer to recharge and maybe have him write a list of what he would like to learn for the school year or even the upcoming school year.  Let him have some input in what he wants to learn.  Also the subjects don't need to be every day.  You can alternate subjects or make certain subjects two days a week compared to five days a week. 

Homeschooling Moms

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN