Homeschooling Moms

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HopeJoyPeace1
I will be Failing my son. He will be repeating 4th grade.***UPDATED***
May 12, 2013 at 5:11 PM

This year even though his average is 80+ this year in all the things he did do...

KEEP IN MIND THE WORDING HERE.. THAT WHICH HE DID DO.. is 80% 

But 40% of the material that we were supposed to do he litterally had to do over and over and over again..

And we have only finished 50-60% of the materials.

Why you ask..

Litterally he has rebelled at every turn. 

He will sit with his head in his hands twirling his pencil. He will tell me he did the work.. Then when I go to correct it.. I litterally have found doodles on the lines.(More than one time!) I have tried incentives, I have tried downright bribes. (Upto and encluding 2 weeks of camp this summer, a summer pass to theme parks and even The new wiiU) He just refused to co-operate! So I have told him he is going to have summer school. And that we will start next year with a different curriculum but that he will be doing 4th grade work again as I refuse to let him move on to new materials until he shows he is competant and has mastered the stuff from this year. 

Then I also told him that starting today if he starts to act out/ say how much he hates doing school work he will be sat in a corner and left there all day long! When I say all day long.. I mean from the time he wakes up to the time he returns to bed aside from trips to the bathroom or meals. I also told him that work that I know is not up to his abilities will bring about 1 hour of the same sitting.. 

~~Warning~~

I know that some of you ladies won't agree with these measures.. However after an entire school year of him not getting his work done, and not co-operating.. I know it is being a bit harsh.. atleast to some! I am an old fashioned kind of momma.. I don't tolerate disobediance and I have tried everything this year to not have to get to this level.. But when he insists on making litterally the entire home a den of anger, frustration and misery for the past almost 12 months (I started him last year on homeschooling just after he got out of public school.. Hoping we could get him caught up) so we have been homeschooling him every monday-friday since June... with the exception of 3(1week)vacations. So like I said he has made us all miserable trying to fight the homeschooling.. And I have decided he won't be given the liberty of succeeding in his attempts. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~UPDATE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok well I talked with a local woman who has been homeschooling here in NY for some time! To boot her husband is very up to date on laws.. So they helped me know about the legal requirements of nys! And I have been herassing myself and my son for most of the year for almost no dang reason!

So were gonna do some morning work each day during the summer but aside from some catchup stuff were taking it easy starting monday!

I will be failing him still But I have informed him it is as much my fault as his. 

Thanks to all(well most of you anyhow) you ladies for letting me post this and for giving some great constructive criticizm... 

Replies

  • jen2150
    by jen2150
    May 12, 2013 at 8:01 PM
    I don't tolerate disobedience either but I also listen to what my children are telling me. My goal while homeschooling is for them to love books and to never lose their love for learning. Personally I think you should find out what the problem is. Having him sit all day is only going make both of your lives miserable. Have you deschooled? I don't agree with your response but I wish you the best. After almost 7 years of homeschooling I have learned a lot about how children learn.(I still have a lot more to learn I am sure) I would look for ways to inspire and motivate him to love learning again.
  • jellybeans5
    May 12, 2013 at 8:27 PM

     I have a 10 yr old dd. (plus 4 others :-)

    Would a change is the schedule help ? My dd doesn't like a lot of formal school work and I changed her schedule originally to give her a break and as an experiment but it helped so much and she's getting so much done, I may stick to it. I stole the idea from block scheduling and it's similar to her older brothers only he does more cause he's older. (I got the idea from someone on here :-)

    We school year round, 6 days a week

    Mon, Wed, Fri = Math, Language Arts, Social Studies

    Tues, Thurs, Sat = Math, Reading, Science

    We only school in the AM and it takes her about 3 hrs to complete everything. The afternoon is left for unschooling, or something fun she decides to do. It made a world of difference for us and I have her sister's on the same schedule. We're having fun again. :-) (ds does additonal work 3 days a week in the afternoon 'cause he's in hs)

    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:

    J IS 10

    9=MATH

    10=Language Arts

    11=Social Studies

    12 Lunch

    1=Science

    2= Reading

    3=Health

    And like I said in my post I will be changing the curriculum very soon. However I do truely beleive that children need to learn how to do as they are told. I have tried many hand's on lessons and I have even tried to do feild trips.. None of that seems to motivate him. For history one week we took him to a local place which has houses from each time period in american history. And in each of the homes there are people telling about that time period.. He sat down on one of the steps and told us all how boring history was and how he didn't want to go to any more of the homes.. After we had payed for a weekend pass to take him all through it.. so 2 days of our pass were wasted because mister cranky pants wanted to gripe and whine.

     

     

    Quoting 101stwife:

    How old is he? It honestly sounds like maybe you need a different approach. How do you run your home school day? I know that for one of my sons he does really well first thing in the morning and likes to get his work done right away. Then my other son is not a morning person and does much better at around 10am. He also does better with doing a lesson or 2 and then having a break and then doing another lesson or 2. Maybe he would do better with a more hands on curriculum rather than seat work?

     

     


     

  • chotovec82
    May 12, 2013 at 8:42 PM
    This is similar to what I do also. I let my kids play all day tho and school them the last three hours before bedtime. THey are doing much better this way. I also do a M, T, W, TH, F block scheduling. We don't do Sat but I might start doing that. We do reading and math all 5 days but alternate grammar, spelling, science and health between the 5. We have made amazing progress with this way. I am liking it so much that we will use it next year also.


    Quoting jellybeans5:

     I have a 10 yr old dd. (plus 4 others :-)


    Would a change is the schedule help ? My dd doesn't like a lot of formal school work and I changed her schedule originally to give her a break and as an experiment but it helped so much and she's getting so much done, I may stick to it. I stole the idea from block scheduling and it's similar to her older brothers only he does more cause he's older. (I got the idea from someone on here :-)


    We school year round, 6 days a week


    Mon, Wed, Fri = Math, Language Arts, Social Studies


    Tues, Thurs, Sat = Math, Reading, Science


    We only school in the AM and it takes her about 3 hrs to complete everything. The afternoon is left for unschooling, or something fun she decides to do. It made a world of difference for us and I have her sister's on the same schedule. We're having fun again. :-) (ds does additonal work 3 days a week in the afternoon 'cause he's in hs)


    Quoting HopeJoyPeace1:


    J IS 10


    9=MATH


    10=Language Arts


    11=Social Studies


    12 Lunch


    1=Science


    2= Reading


    3=Health


    And like I said in my post I will be changing the curriculum very soon. However I do truely beleive that children need to learn how to do as they are told. I have tried many hand's on lessons and I have even tried to do feild trips.. None of that seems to motivate him. For history one week we took him to a local place which has houses from each time period in american history. And in each of the homes there are people telling about that time period.. He sat down on one of the steps and told us all how boring history was and how he didn't want to go to any more of the homes.. After we had payed for a weekend pass to take him all through it.. so 2 days of our pass were wasted because mister cranky pants wanted to gripe and whine.


     


     


    Quoting 101stwife:


    How old is he? It honestly sounds like maybe you need a different approach. How do you run your home school day? I know that for one of my sons he does really well first thing in the morning and likes to get his work done right away. Then my other son is not a morning person and does much better at around 10am. He also does better with doing a lesson or 2 and then having a break and then doing another lesson or 2. Maybe he would do better with a more hands on curriculum rather than seat work?


     


     




     


  • celticdragon77
    May 12, 2013 at 9:13 PM

    I STRONGLY disagree with how you are handling this situation. I believe in positive reinforcement. However, I also know that you have made it clear that you are not flexible on your views on this - and I do not want to disrespect that. Please just remember that the relationship is sooooo precious! If he needs to go back to public school, please allow him. 

  • mem82
    by mem82
    May 12, 2013 at 9:33 PM

    *hugs*

    I know the kind of frustration you are going through. My son, Cole 8, gave me fits. He cried, I cried, we fought. It was bad. Luckily, things are much better now. I've changed things up a bit, and I also cam down hard on some of his bad habits. After a heart to heart discussion, and me holding my temper better, things have truly improved. Cole is almost caught up with everything and is actually ahead in Math. 8)

    May I suggest taking the month of June completely off. You both have been going so hard for months and months. He hasn't really had a break since the August before last. You have probably been spending every available emotional currency you have on him and his schooling. Take a break and regroup. This isn't a race. He is keyed up and completely in defiant mode.

    Take a month off, let him sleep in, play outside, do chores. 8)

    You do the same. Come back to this fight refreshed and energized!

    After you start again, do it slow. Start with just one subject or two. It won't look as *hard* to him. Every week add another subject. Slowly, slowly, slowly. A horse can be led to water but that doesn't mean he will drink it. Before you know it, after you are both relaxed from your break and your fighting, he will fly through those books. 8) What do you have to lose? He can't NOT learn any slower, right. lol

    You aren't giving up. He isn't winning. You are regrouping and attacking the problem from another angle. Give him a clean slate. You can always deal with his defiance if it keeps up, but maybe trying it this way first will ease the tension between the two of you?

  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    May 13, 2013 at 7:27 AM

    I have a similar problem.  My 4th grader, while he's not behind, gives me fits about everything (it feels that way, anyway).  There are some things, that for him, I don't consider important, so I don't do them.  He's a spelling whiz and when he was in ps, he could give me a 5 hour battle about writing the words out 3 times each.  5 hours!  We don't do spelling.  However, his writing he still has to do, and he gives me such grief.  It sounds so calm and dignified written that way, the actual events are not.  I don't have great advice, because we have good days and bad, but know you're not alone.  Remember, too, that teaching obedience doesn't have to be an "I'm right you're wrong" kind of thing.  Respecting each other, getting to the bottom of things, and then at the end of that sometimes he still has to do what he doesn't like.  Good luck with your journey!

  • Joann.HS
    May 13, 2013 at 8:17 AM
    Sitting in a corner all day will not get you the results you want. His attitude won't change until yours does. He seems miserable and lonely. No way to live a childhood.

  • tuffymama
    May 13, 2013 at 9:14 AM
    If you're going to persist in copying public school form and your my-way-or-the-highway attitude, you may as well send him back to PS. Or heck, why not put his disobedient, disappointing, unruly, indisciplined, aggravating behind in MILITARY SCHOOL and be done with it????

    SMH. Yes I judge because I have Godgiven powers of discernment. That poor boy. That poor, poor little soul who just needs nurturing and cries out for it very day in his actions! You're wrong. Dead wrong. And if you need to hear it every day to correct it, I will tell you. I respect the other ladies who politely withdrew but someone needs to be your son's champion. You're not doing it!
  • tuffymama
    May 13, 2013 at 9:16 AM
    You seriously need to consider why the hell you are even bothering to HOME. SCHOOL. Home is first in the term for more than one reason.
  • HopeJoyPeace1
    May 13, 2013 at 10:10 AM
    well you are right we can't "not" learn anything lower that is absolutely true!

    I like the idea of a month month break I will definitely consider that... although it's more likely to be July or August then June.. thank you for the productive and constructive criticism. ;-)


    Quoting mem82:

    *hugs*

    I know the kind of frustration you are going through. My son, Cole 8, gave me fits. He cried, I cried, we fought. It was bad. Luckily, things are much better now. I've changed things up a bit, and I also cam down hard on some of his bad habits. After a heart to heart discussion, and me holding my temper better, things have truly improved. Cole is almost caught up with everything and is actually ahead in Math. 8)

    May I suggest taking the month of June completely off. You both have been going so hard for months and months. He hasn't really had a break since the August before last. You have probably been spending every available emotional currency you have on him and his schooling. Take a break and regroup. This isn't a race. He is keyed up and completely in defiant mode.

    Take a month off, let him sleep in, play outside, do chores. 8)

    You do the same. Come back to this fight refreshed and energized!

    After you start again, do it slow. Start with just one subject or two. It won't look as *hard* to him. Every week add another subject. Slowly, slowly, slowly. A horse can be led to water but that doesn't mean he will drink it. Before you know it, after you are both relaxed from your break and your fighting, he will fly through those books. 8) What do you have to lose? He can't NOT learn any slower, right. lol

    You aren't giving up. He isn't winning. You are regrouping and attacking the problem from another angle. Give him a clean slate. You can always deal with his defiance if it keeps up, but maybe trying it this way first will ease the tension between the two of you?


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