Homeschooling Moms

No_Difference
Such stubborness!!!
April 26, 2013 at 10:25 AM

 My little guy just turned 4 at the beginning of the month. He has been "reading" for almost a year now. By "reading" I mean he can sound out just about any word...when he wants to... He has flat out told me he doesn't want to read and has told me he can't read, even tho he knows he can. It is driving me insane! I've tried taking a break from it for a while and sneaking it in here and there, but he has caught on. I can sit him down and have him do it, but it then takes forever to sound out a 3 letter word he knows, and if we do simple phrases like, "the sad man" by the time he gets to the final word, he's forgotten the last two words...   His stubborness on not wanting to read is just so frustrating!! grr.... sorry...vent over lol.

Replies

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    April 26, 2013 at 1:07 PM

     Get books that are about things he likes & is interested in, leave them around the house where he will find them. Also back off a lot, no one likes to be asked to prove over & over again that they know something that they know you know they know.

    Dose he like video games? get him games like Scribblenauts or Super Scribblenauts (they requires reading & spelling to play & they are funny).

    You can also be sneaky & turn the closed captioning on the TV, then he is seeing the words & hearing them with out you making him read.

  • mem82
    by mem82
    April 26, 2013 at 1:29 PM

    I would leave it for at least a year. Keep him surrounded by books and magazines that he might like and then come back when he is older. There is no reason to push it. It will just be a power struggle and sadly, he'll when it. LOL I speak from experience with my son. 8)

  • No_Difference
    April 26, 2013 at 2:15 PM

     He caught on to closed captioning :( And video games...  Now if he has to read something in a game he'll bring it me and tell me, "I can't read this." even though he had just read it a day or two ago. 
    I drop everything when he asks me to read to him, and I even pick up the books at the library that have no words and are 100% pictures and listen to the stories he tells me. I don't push, just goes as he asks, it's just frustrating when he asks for me to help him read, and then just says, "I can't" when he's done, and I don't want him to get in the hang of "I can't, so don't bother/try."... know what I mean? 
    We have a ton of books at home, most of them he loves, and we frequent the library often, and he checks out books on his own card, so having books he loves will always be available. We had originally taken a 6 month break from trying. 

    I guess there is a part of me that feels like I'm failing both my kids, but right now mostly him, since my brother, sister, and myself were all reading with little assistance by the time we were 3. That's probably where the majority of my frustration is coming from...

  • mem82
    by mem82
    April 26, 2013 at 2:24 PM

    He might just have figured out that he has found a sure fire way to get and keep your undivided attention.

    Quoting No_Difference:

     He caught on to closed captioning :( And video games...  Now if he has to read something in a game he'll bring it me and tell me, "I can't read this." even though he had just read it a day or two ago. 
    I drop everything when he asks me to read to him, and I even pick up the books at the library that have no words and are 100% pictures and listen to the stories he tells me. I don't push, just goes as he asks, it's just frustrating when he asks for me to help him read, and then just says, "I can't" when he's done, and I don't want him to get in the hang of "I can't, so don't bother/try."... know what I mean? 
    We have a ton of books at home, most of them he loves, and we frequent the library often, and he checks out books on his own card, so having books he loves will always be available. We had originally taken a 6 month break from trying. 

    I guess there is a part of me that feels like I'm failing both my kids, but right now mostly him, since my brother, sister, and myself were all reading with little assistance by the time we were 3. That's probably where the majority of my frustration is coming from...


  • CaitsCookies
    April 26, 2013 at 2:28 PM

    From what you've written, he's doing well with reading for his age.  It seems that he's using it to get attention he needs from you.  Just keep working with him, and when he is ready to read on his own, he will.  For now, he needs you.

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    April 26, 2013 at 2:36 PM

     That is an interesting thought about the situation!

    I know how frustrating it is what you are going through I went through something similar with my oldest & now with my 9y/o but I know that she can read maybe not as well as others her age do but she can because there are times I catch her doing it. I know that if I make a big deal about it I will only push her farther from it so I wait & watch & am ready for when she is ready. I do believe that one day I am going to walk in & find her reading a book with no effort at all that I believed was far more advanced then she is.

    Quoting mem82:

    He might just have figured out that he has found a sure fire way to get and keep your undivided attention.

    Quoting No_Difference:

     He caught on to closed captioning :( And video games...  Now if he has to read something in a game he'll bring it me and tell me, "I can't read this." even though he had just read it a day or two ago. 
    I drop everything when he asks me to read to him, and I even pick up the books at the library that have no words and are 100% pictures and listen to the stories he tells me. I don't push, just goes as he asks, it's just frustrating when he asks for me to help him read, and then just says, "I can't" when he's done, and I don't want him to get in the hang of "I can't, so don't bother/try."... know what I mean? 
    We have a ton of books at home, most of them he loves, and we frequent the library often, and he checks out books on his own card, so having books he loves will always be available. We had originally taken a 6 month break from trying. 

    I guess there is a part of me that feels like I'm failing both my kids, but right now mostly him, since my brother, sister, and myself were all reading with little assistance by the time we were 3. That's probably where the majority of my frustration is coming from...


     

  • No_Difference
    April 27, 2013 at 8:18 AM

     I found my new sneaky... color by numbers ;) That way  we can ALL color together and have fun. But he actually READ the majority of the colors on his own without asking for help except for blue and brown. 
    I didn't make a big deal of it though...I dont' want him to know I caught on lol. I did say good job every time he said the right word and gave a high five, which is his expected response from me (as in if I didn't do it, he'd be demanding me whilst holding my hand up so he can make me give him a high five lol). I am going to reflect back on this moment on those days he's being a pain with his "I can'ts".

  • jen2150
    by jen2150
    April 27, 2013 at 8:37 AM

    I really wouldn't worry about him reading at this age.  Just keep reading to him.  At this age the love of reading is more important.  Make sure he sees you reading.  Spend time reading outloud especially poems.  Lay books around that he can't resist.  My youngest was the same way.  He is 9 and is just now starting to catch on to reading.  The older day he asked if he could read me a picture that he read.  His favorite are garfield comic books.  Garfield is what started him reading on his own.  Just keep laying all kinds of books around for him until you find one that clicks.  My oldest began reading on his own at 7 and my oldest was more like 9.  Reading happens at different ages.  The joy of reading is more important than anything else.  Be patient and it will happen.  You are doing great!

  • romacox
    by romacox
    April 27, 2013 at 9:01 AM

     

    Jen2150, my second grandson. Koty ("Analytical Personality") was the same.  He  has never attended public school. His mother home schooled him from day one. She read to him regularly, and it was a fun time for them both. Once he learned his ABC's she tried using flash cards to teach him phonics, which is a very unnatural way for some young children to learn. It quickly became a chore for both. I reminded her of a game I use to teach children to read. It changed everything. Koty quickly learned his phonic sounds, and begged to play more often than his mother desired.

     He was able to read all the early reader books. He even sounded out difficult words like Premium at local gas stations as they played games of reading words while traveling. However, he had no desire to pick up a book and read by himself. Having read the book "Better Late than Early" by Raymond & Dorothy Moore (home school veterans), his mother continued reading to him. At the age of eight, he picked up a book, and asked her to read it for him. Not having the time at that moment, she declined.Too impatient to wait for her, he began reading the book himself, and has had an insatiable reading appetite thereafter. Within six months he was reading at a fifth grade level.  "Better Late than Early" explains how important it is to adjust to a child's natural tendencies rather than making him/ her fit into a square peg of our own design (time schedule and method).


    Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1983272


    Quoting jen2150:

    I really wouldn't worry about him reading at this age.  Just keep reading to him.  At this age the love of reading is more important.  Make sure he sees you reading.  Spend time reading outloud especially poems.  Lay books around that he can't resist.  My youngest was the same way.  He is 9 and is just now starting to catch on to reading.  The older day he asked if he could read me a picture that he read.  His favorite are garfield comic books.  Garfield is what started him reading on his own.  Just keep laying all kinds of books around for him until you find one that clicks.  My oldest began reading on his own at 7 and my oldest was more like 9.  Reading happens at different ages.  The joy of reading is more important than anything else.  Be patient and it will happen.  You are doing great!


     

  • debramommyof4
    April 27, 2013 at 12:41 PM

     Let it go.  At 4 he may not want to.  If you let it go you will be suprised he will come sit down and start reading to you one day.  My now 6 year old did that to me.

Homeschooling Moms