Homeschooling Moms

debramommyof4
Cheating
March 18, 2013 at 6:40 PM

 How do you handle it? 

My 7 year old is still finishing up this year for k12.  I sit on the computer and give her the phonics test so I can mark it while she is does the test.  She started trying to see the answers while she was taking the test.  I was so mad.  I am making her write I will not cheat for a full page of paper. 

I am hoping this teaches her to not do that again. 

Replies

  • Pukalani79
    March 18, 2013 at 8:58 PM

     I'm sorry.  I haven't had to deal with that yet. I don't know I'd handle it.

  • debramommyof4
    March 18, 2013 at 9:03 PM

     It will be harder to cheat next year.  I just hate that she did it.  I make a huge deal about always doing your best even if you are not sure of the answer and she does this?  I am beside myself with disappointment.  She is a smarter kid than this.

  • AutymsMommy
    March 18, 2013 at 9:20 PM

    She's 7. If the answers are available, she's going to try to see them. Lol.

    I disagree with making her write, but it's my personal opinion that using school work (or anything like it) as punishment breeds negativity towards that function, and to each their own - if it works for your family, I'm sure you got your point across.

  • debramommyof4
    March 18, 2013 at 9:27 PM

     Thanks for the input. I could not think of anything else to do.  I mean I could put her in time out but I wanted to be sure she understood that we do not tolerate cheating.  I will not have her do any writing for awhile after today.  I dont want her to think of writing as a bad thing just that she should not cheat.  She is still writing because she keeps stopping.  But she did say she learned her lesson.  But ideas for next time, since I have four and she is my oldest would be nice.

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    She's 7. If the answers are available, she's going to try to see them. Lol.

    I disagree with making her write, but it's my personal opinion that using school work (or anything like it) as punishment breeds negativity towards that function, and to each their own - if it works for your family, I'm sure you got your point across.

     

  • irvinehiker
    March 18, 2013 at 10:02 PM

    She is 7, so everything is not black and white for her like it is for us.  This shows she has some problem solving skills.  However it doesn't make it right, so letting her know that and dealing with it now is a good idea.  I think you did the right thing.  :) 

  • AutymsMommy
    March 18, 2013 at 10:08 PM

    Remember that at this age, while she may have a vague idea of right and wrong, she has very little impulse control and even less ability to think before she acts.

    Of course that doesn't mean you do nothing, but try to make the consequence a bit more "fits the crime", a bit more guiding -vs- punitive. You could have, for future reference, stopped the test and asked her what her favorite book is (that you read aloud to her); when she answered, you could say "wouldn't you like to be able to read that book all by yourself, without waiting for mom to have time to read it to you? I have to know how well you're doing with your phonics/reading so that I know how to best help you meet that goal -  I can't do that if you cheat". Make sure she knows WHY you test; it will go much further than simply telling her she has to take the test and not to cheat, without telling her the purpose behind said tests, kwim?

    Then remind her that no matter how well or how poorly she does, so long as she does her very best, your role is to help her and you won't be disappointed (because she may be feeling some anxiety over a "test"). Also, don't make a big deal out of the tests. Don't, for example, say days ahead of time "I hope you're ready - you have a huge test on Monday; it's super important!" <---- stress!!!


    Quoting debramommyof4:

     Thanks for the input. I could not think of anything else to do.  I mean I could put her in time out but I wanted to be sure she understood that we do not tolerate cheating.  I will not have her do any writing for awhile after today.  I dont want her to think of writing as a bad thing just that she should not cheat.  She is still writing because she keeps stopping.  But she did say she learned her lesson.  But ideas for next time, since I have four and she is my oldest would be nice.

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    She's 7. If the answers are available, she's going to try to see them. Lol.

    I disagree with making her write, but it's my personal opinion that using school work (or anything like it) as punishment breeds negativity towards that function, and to each their own - if it works for your family, I'm sure you got your point across.

     



  • tiredmomfor2
    March 18, 2013 at 10:32 PM
    My son is also 7 did that recently. We were doing Spelling words. He had missed 1 and I had him write it 3 times. Then we flipped the notebook over to try the ones he missed. When he though I wasn't looking he looked at the other side.
    I asked him if he looked and he told me. I was upset but he had a look on his face like it hadn't registered as cheating or a bad thing. KWIM?
    We had a talk about it and he hasn't tried it since.
    I think part of it is their age, and honestly at this age, it can be hard to remember right from wrong in certain situations.
  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    March 18, 2013 at 10:44 PM
    I think talking to her about what cheating is & why it is wrong would have been better then punishing her for something she probably didn't fully understand was a bad thing to do.
  • debramommyof4
    March 18, 2013 at 10:52 PM

     Thanks.  I dont know how well it would work with this child as she can read everything you give her.  We have to finish the k12 tests to finish out the year.  But it may come in handy with her younger siblings.  I never make a big deal out of tests.  I made that mistake once and it was aweful.  She kept saying she couldnt and crying if she did not get 100%.  We had to take a break and let her not do her best and praise her no matter what for several months to get her back to working.  I think she just really loves to get see everything but we have been doing this the same way for 2 years and I have made it a point everytime to tell her not to look it would be cheating and that cheating hurts her and me and why.

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    Remember that at this age, while she may have a vague idea of right and wrong, she has very little impulse control and even less ability to think before she acts.

    Of course that doesn't mean you do nothing, but try to make the consequence a bit more "fits the crime", a bit more guiding -vs- punitive. You could have, for future reference, stopped the test and asked her what her favorite book is (that you read aloud to her); when she answered, you could say "wouldn't you like to be able to read that book all by yourself, without waiting for mom to have time to read it to you? I have to know how well you're doing with your phonics/reading so that I know how to best help you meet that goal -  I can't do that if you cheat". Make sure she knows WHY you test; it will go much further than simply telling her she has to take the test and not to cheat, without telling her the purpose behind said tests, kwim?

    Then remind her that no matter how well or how poorly she does, so long as she does her very best, your role is to help her and you won't be disappointed (because she may be feeling some anxiety over a "test"). Also, don't make a big deal out of the tests. Don't, for example, say days ahead of time "I hope you're ready - you have a huge test on Monday; it's super important!" <---- stress!!!

     

    Quoting debramommyof4:

     Thanks for the input. I could not think of anything else to do.  I mean I could put her in time out but I wanted to be sure she understood that we do not tolerate cheating.  I will not have her do any writing for awhile after today.  I dont want her to think of writing as a bad thing just that she should not cheat.  She is still writing because she keeps stopping.  But she did say she learned her lesson.  But ideas for next time, since I have four and she is my oldest would be nice.

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    She's 7. If the answers are available, she's going to try to see them. Lol.

    I disagree with making her write, but it's my personal opinion that using school work (or anything like it) as punishment breeds negativity towards that function, and to each their own - if it works for your family, I'm sure you got your point across.

     

     

     

     

  • AutymsMommy
    March 18, 2013 at 10:54 PM

    Lol - so maybe she's cheating because it's ridiculously easy for her and she wants to get it over with as quickly as possible.

    I'm so glad you guys are leaving K12 next year!


    Quoting debramommyof4:

     Thanks.  I dont know how well it would work with this child as she can read everything you give her.  We have to finish the k12 tests to finish out the year.  But it may come in handy with her younger siblings.  I never make a big deal out of tests.  I made that mistake once and it was aweful.  She kept saying she couldnt and crying if she did not get 100%.  We had to take a break and let her not do her best and praise her no matter what for several months to get her back to working.  I think she just really loves to get see everything but we have been doing this the same way for 2 years and I have made it a point everytime to tell her not to look it would be cheating and that cheating hurts her and me and why.

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    Remember that at this age, while she may have a vague idea of right and wrong, she has very little impulse control and even less ability to think before she acts.

    Of course that doesn't mean you do nothing, but try to make the consequence a bit more "fits the crime", a bit more guiding -vs- punitive. You could have, for future reference, stopped the test and asked her what her favorite book is (that you read aloud to her); when she answered, you could say "wouldn't you like to be able to read that book all by yourself, without waiting for mom to have time to read it to you? I have to know how well you're doing with your phonics/reading so that I know how to best help you meet that goal -  I can't do that if you cheat". Make sure she knows WHY you test; it will go much further than simply telling her she has to take the test and not to cheat, without telling her the purpose behind said tests, kwim?

    Then remind her that no matter how well or how poorly she does, so long as she does her very best, your role is to help her and you won't be disappointed (because she may be feeling some anxiety over a "test"). Also, don't make a big deal out of the tests. Don't, for example, say days ahead of time "I hope you're ready - you have a huge test on Monday; it's super important!" <---- stress!!!


    Quoting debramommyof4:

     Thanks for the input. I could not think of anything else to do.  I mean I could put her in time out but I wanted to be sure she understood that we do not tolerate cheating.  I will not have her do any writing for awhile after today.  I dont want her to think of writing as a bad thing just that she should not cheat.  She is still writing because she keeps stopping.  But she did say she learned her lesson.  But ideas for next time, since I have four and she is my oldest would be nice.

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    She's 7. If the answers are available, she's going to try to see them. Lol.

    I disagree with making her write, but it's my personal opinion that using school work (or anything like it) as punishment breeds negativity towards that function, and to each their own - if it works for your family, I'm sure you got your point across.

     



     



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