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debramommyof4
Cheating
March 18, 2013 at 6:40 PM

 How do you handle it? 

My 7 year old is still finishing up this year for k12.  I sit on the computer and give her the phonics test so I can mark it while she is does the test.  She started trying to see the answers while she was taking the test.  I was so mad.  I am making her write I will not cheat for a full page of paper. 

I am hoping this teaches her to not do that again. 

Replies

  • coala
    by coala
    March 18, 2013 at 10:54 PM

    It is something that we punish for.  I also make sure that she doens't take the "easy" way to do her work.  Like writting numbers vertically for say the 20 family.  She will write all the 2's and then go back and fill in the rest.  I can tell when this has been done b/c the numbers don't sit as close together as they should.  I can tell you that this is the age that they start trying this stuff.  We have to make sure the set the precedent to make sure this doesn't happen again.  We have to get the point across and early.  Keep up the good work.

  • debramommyof4
    March 18, 2013 at 10:58 PM

     Me too.  I have asked them to test her as much as possible to get her in the right grade and they did great in math but not reading.  I get to see her bench mark results from the begining of the year and I cant wait to see how she did because they never showed me just talked to me about them.  I have yet to run into anything she can not do on her own in reading and we fell behind at the begining of the year due to me having pneumonia and her not willing to work. We do 5 end of unit tests a week in phonics and the lowest she has gotten was 90% so far.  She is bored but excited for next year.  I told her we are going to do a lot of hands on work and she is very excited.

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    Lol - so maybe she's cheating because it's ridiculously easy for her and she wants to get it over with as quickly as possible.

    I'm so glad you guys are leaving K12 next year!

     

    Quoting debramommyof4:

     Thanks.  I dont know how well it would work with this child as she can read everything you give her.  We have to finish the k12 tests to finish out the year.  But it may come in handy with her younger siblings.  I never make a big deal out of tests.  I made that mistake once and it was aweful.  She kept saying she couldnt and crying if she did not get 100%.  We had to take a break and let her not do her best and praise her no matter what for several months to get her back to working.  I think she just really loves to get see everything but we have been doing this the same way for 2 years and I have made it a point everytime to tell her not to look it would be cheating and that cheating hurts her and me and why.

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    Remember that at this age, while she may have a vague idea of right and wrong, she has very little impulse control and even less ability to think before she acts.

    Of course that doesn't mean you do nothing, but try to make the consequence a bit more "fits the crime", a bit more guiding -vs- punitive. You could have, for future reference, stopped the test and asked her what her favorite book is (that you read aloud to her); when she answered, you could say "wouldn't you like to be able to read that book all by yourself, without waiting for mom to have time to read it to you? I have to know how well you're doing with your phonics/reading so that I know how to best help you meet that goal -  I can't do that if you cheat". Make sure she knows WHY you test; it will go much further than simply telling her she has to take the test and not to cheat, without telling her the purpose behind said tests, kwim?

    Then remind her that no matter how well or how poorly she does, so long as she does her very best, your role is to help her and you won't be disappointed (because she may be feeling some anxiety over a "test"). Also, don't make a big deal out of the tests. Don't, for example, say days ahead of time "I hope you're ready - you have a huge test on Monday; it's super important!" <---- stress!!!

     

    Quoting debramommyof4:

     Thanks for the input. I could not think of anything else to do.  I mean I could put her in time out but I wanted to be sure she understood that we do not tolerate cheating.  I will not have her do any writing for awhile after today.  I dont want her to think of writing as a bad thing just that she should not cheat.  She is still writing because she keeps stopping.  But she did say she learned her lesson.  But ideas for next time, since I have four and she is my oldest would be nice.

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    She's 7. If the answers are available, she's going to try to see them. Lol.

    I disagree with making her write, but it's my personal opinion that using school work (or anything like it) as punishment breeds negativity towards that function, and to each their own - if it works for your family, I'm sure you got your point across.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • debramommyof4
    March 18, 2013 at 11:01 PM

     Thanks.  I hated using writing since she already doesnt like that but I really wanted her to understand how bad it is to cheat and how much we do not allow it in this family.  I want her to know her best is all we expect and that can not be achieved if she is cheating.

    Quoting coala:

    It is something that we punish for.  I also make sure that she doens't take the "easy" way to do her work.  Like writting numbers vertically for say the 20 family.  She will write all the 2's and then go back and fill in the rest.  I can tell when this has been done b/c the numbers don't sit as close together as they should.  I can tell you that this is the age that they start trying this stuff.  We have to make sure the set the precedent to make sure this doesn't happen again.  We have to get the point across and early.  Keep up the good work.

     

  • coala
    by coala
    March 18, 2013 at 11:08 PM

    That is something that I keep trying to reinforce with my oldest as well.  She seems to think that her best isn't enough and it ALWAYS is.  A lot of this seems to come from her life before our family.  We will keep trudging along with it.


    Quoting debramommyof4:

     Thanks.  I hated using writing since she already doesnt like that but I really wanted her to understand how bad it is to cheat and how much we do not allow it in this family.  I want her to know her best is all we expect and that can not be achieved if she is cheating.

    Quoting coala:

    It is something that we punish for.  I also make sure that she doens't take the "easy" way to do her work.  Like writting numbers vertically for say the 20 family.  She will write all the 2's and then go back and fill in the rest.  I can tell when this has been done b/c the numbers don't sit as close together as they should.  I can tell you that this is the age that they start trying this stuff.  We have to make sure the set the precedent to make sure this doesn't happen again.  We have to get the point across and early.  Keep up the good work.

     



  • Jenn8604
    March 18, 2013 at 11:11 PM
    I know you're disappointed with her actions, let her know that, but make sure you don't tell her your disappointed with her. I had a coworker who that's all her mom said if she made a small mistake. It really crushes their self-esteem.

    Quoting debramommyof4:

     It will be harder to cheat next year.  I just hate that she did it.  I make a huge deal about always doing your best even if you are not sure of the answer and she does this?  I am beside myself with disappointment.  She is a smarter kid than this.

  • debramommyof4
    March 19, 2013 at 12:55 AM
    We always say we don't like her actions if she does something wrong. We do not use the word bad in this house. They misbehave or make mistakes.

    Quoting Jenn8604:

    I know you're disappointed with her actions, let her know that, but make sure you don't tell her your disappointed with her. I had a coworker who that's all her mom said if she made a small mistake. It really crushes their self-esteem.



    Quoting debramommyof4:

     It will be harder to cheat next year.  I just hate that she did it.  I make a huge deal about always doing your best even if you are not sure of the answer and she does this?  I am beside myself with disappointment.  She is a smarter kid than this.

  • Jenn8604
    March 19, 2013 at 9:26 AM
    Well disappointed is different than bad. and hurts more.
    And I'm glad you tell her she is misbehaving.


    Quoting debramommyof4:

    We always say we don't like her actions if she does something wrong. We do not use the word bad in this house. They misbehave or make mistakes.



    Quoting Jenn8604:

    I know you're disappointed with her actions, let her know that, but make sure you don't tell her your disappointed with her. I had a coworker who that's all her mom said if she made a small mistake. It really crushes their self-esteem.





    Quoting debramommyof4:

     It will be harder to cheat next year.  I just hate that she did it.  I make a huge deal about always doing your best even if you are not sure of the answer and she does this?  I am beside myself with disappointment.  She is a smarter kid than this.

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