I have lived in this area for 8 years now and only know 5 women ( wives of my DH's coworkers) and they ignore me at functions and are always apologizing to DH when he finds out there was a get together and I wasn't invited. ( we didn't think she'd like to go shopping for swimsuits, we didn't think shed like to see a popular movie, she reads such esoteric things we didn't think shed like to join a book club, go clubbing, go drinking etc) I never get calls or emails , so I don't even get a chance to accept or refuse.
I have tried setting up meetup groups, yahoo friends, craiglist meetups, and leaving messageson the library community boards. I have joined reading clubs, mall walking groups, crafting groups only to have them all fizzle out within a few meeting- and some were around for years.
I'm about to just look for a night job to be able to interact with people and still homeschool.
So ladies please. What do you do to avoid or combat the isolation of homeschooling?
by mommy4lyfMarch 10, 2013 at 5:47 PM
I am not homeschooling my son right now but I will be in couple years. I am a full time mother, it means when my son goes to school and hubby left for work, I have all the time in the world. I enjoy being alone and got invited regularly (most of the time on weekend) but I refused to because that's the only time my son and husband are around. I have close friends that lives in Australia and Dubai that I constantly chatting with through skype or viber. To be honest with you, I am very satisfied.
Hope you'll find a friend that shares your interests.
by jen2150March 10, 2013 at 7:12 PM
I live in the country and I drive a lot. I also take karate with my sons. I take my kids to 4 H and get together with other moms. I also run my own co-op locally. I have a few friends I go on field trips with. Honestly I have not found homeschooling isolating at all. Have you checked any yahoo groups to find co-ops closer to you. If you want to talk to other moms on things other than homeschooling then I suggest you start talking about other things. You just may have had some bad luck. Don't give up finding some groups that work for you.
by mem82March 10, 2013 at 7:38 PMThat does sound tough. I am reeeeaaaalllly socially awkward so I understand how isolation can take its toll. Just keep trying to find friends.
I don't have that many people that I know anymore. I work from home, so "socialize" on the phone with my boss and my coworker. My girls go skating on the weekends and I have gotten to know a few moms there, but we all volunteer at the door together. I also see those same moms on Wednesday's when we AGAIN go skating on the outdoor rink. I now also take my girls to swim lessons and have started talking to the other 2 moms. I feel like I am socially awkward, but I really am trying. I am also getting out with a HS group every other week for an art class and playdate with our kids. I have gotten to know a few moms there as well. Trust me is hasn't been easy, but I really am trying. I don't like feeling like I am isolated. Please don't get me wrong, b/c I REALLY REALLY enjoy spending time alone, but I know my kids need friends as well.
Homeschooling takes adjustmenting to, that is what I discovered when I started. I have had some of the same issues. Trying to find other mothers or groups that we could mesh with who have the same interests or at least living in the same area. So I personally decided to start my own group next year. As for this year I have decided to embrace my isolation and work on my own personal interests such as arts and crafts, gardening, reading and writing, (ever thought about starting a blog), and meditating on my own Christianity (other wise reading the bible and praying). Anyway hope this helps, God bless.
by oldweezaMarch 11, 2013 at 8:37 AM
I just started HS, about a month ago, and felt so lost. I do work also, but don't really socialize with the people I work with. I am a bit older than them, and not into the clubbing and partying. I also was not close to the childrens' parents at school, they were a bit clicky and standoffish. So i sort of know how you feel.
You don't mention if you are a single mom, or if you have family nearby. My husband and my inlaws, and my parents help alot, and we get together from time to time. Also I looked on the homepage for our cover school and there were a lot of activities that were repetitive so we have started a few of those, and the moms there were awesome. I just walked up and introduced myself, since I figured that was the only way I was going to meet new people. They were super receptive to answering questions, invited me to join their facebook group, and also invited us to come to their co-op. Theirs is not close or convenient to me, but we found another which is, and start tomorrow. Super Excited !
I know some people are shy, and it is not easy to meet new people, but from my short experience the families that hs seem to be more open than most. Good luck to you.
by blueyedbakerMarch 11, 2013 at 9:06 AM
I run the story hour at our library twice a week, I have a gymnastics class I own and hold once a week, my oldest goes to archery class once a week. They have friends up on the weekends and we usually go to friends for a party or two every month or so. Then the usually shopping trips. All that I figure is plenty of socializing for my girls.
Now for just "me time" I do nothing, well I go to book club once a month (that is if I read the book) other than that I don't go anywhere by myself to get out of the house. I don't ever go anywhere without my girls and that can get annoying it is annoying to have to take them every place I go, I need a little space once in a while too but my husband doesn't understand that. He's gone ALL day he doesn't have to deal with anything around here until he gets home at 6 or 7.
You seem to put yourself out there and are tying new things you just haven't found the right "thing" for you yet I guess. Keep trying though.
by oredebMarch 11, 2013 at 9:41 AM
maybe some kinda volunteer work?
I am an extreme introvert, so I cannot "charge my batteries" by being around people. I am on the church board, teach junior church once a month, head the VBS commitee, and help with our church co-op. However when I am taking time for "me," I read, come to cafemom, and crochet. I even take the crochet or the book to the boys' soccer so I don't have to interact with people. Yeah, I'm strange. You just need to keep working to find where you belong. You'll find your place, it just takes time.
Ok. To answer a few questions: I do volunteer work DD and I do trash pick up for a ten mile area 2x a week. I have been doing this for 6 years now. There is no interaction with anyone else. With this.I have tried ti talk with other moms at events, but all I het back are half hearted responses as most seem to either come there with a friend or are always on the phone.
I used to run my own business selling rate books online, but I had to close the business after 15 years due to the changing market reducing my income to nothing. During that time , if I needed to be social I would ge a parttime job, but still never really socialized with my coworkers after work. I am married and DH wants me to go out three times a month or more by myself, but all I end up doing is going to the grocery store as I have desire to be by myself. My family is 8 hrs away. DH's is 12hrs in the opposite direction. As with all my inlaws as lOng as I do not express any contradicting views we get a long.
DH coaches soccer weekly, has national guard, lodge and poker. I can go to some of these, but I havedd to take care of. As for neighbors one is highly religious and intolerant of anyone who doesn't go to her church, the others work on the cruise lines and are gone a lot. I have social anxiety and outside my DH the only adults I talk to on a daily basis is on here.