Homeschooling Moms

babygrl92795
Socialization
March 6, 2013 at 2:21 PM

Hi everyone! I will begin homeschooling my daughter this Fall, and of course everyone brings up the socialization issue. Right now,  I run an in-home preschool. All of the kids are about the same age as my daughter, so socialization is not a problem at this point.  What I am fearing, is when these kids move on, and my daughter is here with me all day Mon-Fri.  Most of the homeschool groups around here meet on weekdays. I am hoping that I can get her involved in enough activities on evenings and weekends to make up for that. Any ideas? Is anyone else in a similar situation? 

Replies

  • almondpigeon
    March 6, 2013 at 2:49 PM

    my daughter has girl scouts and sports to keep her busy.  we also do a homeschool PE class at our local YMCA.  i have 4 other kids so it's difficult for me to things during the day.  she  has to miss out on co-ops, etc because of it.  luckily, a lot of places do evening activities, so  i'm sure you'll find something for her to do.  good luck!!

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    March 6, 2013 at 2:50 PM

     It is funny, we are led to believe that we have to socialize our children with other children their ages other wise they aren't socializing properly. If she is seeing other human beings regardless of their ages she is socializing the only way she wouldn't be is if you locked her in her room & she never saw another person ever.

    You can find activities at the local library, see if the skating rink has or is willing to do a homeschool skate day once a week or once a month, join a homeschool group & then you offer an activity or a park day yourself & be proactive in the finding friends department.

  • coala
    by coala
    March 6, 2013 at 3:04 PM

    We go skating every Wednsday afternoon and Saturday morning.

    We have swimming lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

    We also have an art class and play date Wednesday mornings.

    If you look hard enough you can find what you want that fits your schedule.  All of this works for my kids and they LOVE it.

  • oredeb
    by oredeb
    March 6, 2013 at 5:11 PM

     nope we never had any problems with socialization, the kids were around us all the time, the neighbors, whoever came over, people in the stores, etc!!

  • Precious333
    March 6, 2013 at 5:21 PM
    Socialization is schools is actually comes from socialism, not what i want. Having good social skills is what i do want.

    So, for a chils to learn good social skills, the best way to learn is not tonplacd them in a class.full of kids that all need to learn it, with only one adult (maybe two), but among people who hace learned good social skills already, like parents and older kids. So, in homeschooling, homeschooled kids gets a wise variety of age groups and have many adults to learb good social skills from.

    Being out and about in the community is a great way to practice these skill. I have heard a lot of homeschoolers say thoigh that they are continually needing to limit social time, atleast in my area, because there are lots of things gojng on, so its good to pick and choose what works for your family.
  • tracy20745
    March 6, 2013 at 8:46 PM


    That is such a great response!  My DH and I are thinking of homeschooling our two younger ones and people always ask me that and tell me that I will be doing especially the middle one who has impulse issues, a disservice by not having her around kids her age all the time, and I never know how to answer it.

    Quoting Precious333:

    Socialization is schools is actually comes from socialism, not what i want. Having good social skills is what i do want.

    So, for a chils to learn good social skills, the best way to learn is not tonplacd them in a class.full of kids that all need to learn it, with only one adult (maybe two), but among people who hace learned good social skills already, like parents and older kids. So, in homeschooling, homeschooled kids gets a wise variety of age groups and have many adults to learb good social skills from.

    Being out and about in the community is a great way to practice these skill. I have heard a lot of homeschoolers say thoigh that they are continually needing to limit social time, atleast in my area, because there are lots of things gojng on, so its good to pick and choose what works for your family.



  • Precious333
    March 6, 2013 at 8:55 PM
    If a child has impulse issues, id say theyd be better off homeschooled, of coursei say tjat for most kids!


    Quoting tracy20745:


    That is such a great response!  My DH and I are thinking of homeschooling our two younger ones and people always ask me that and tell me that I will be doing especially the middle one who has impulse issues, a disservice by not having her around kids her age all the time, and I never know how to answer it.


    Quoting Precious333:

    Socialization is schools is actually comes from socialism, not what i want. Having good social skills is what i do want.



    So, for a chils to learn good social skills, the best way to learn is not tonplacd them in a class.full of kids that all need to learn it, with only one adult (maybe two), but among people who hace learned good social skills already, like parents and older kids. So, in homeschooling, homeschooled kids gets a wise variety of age groups and have many adults to learb good social skills from.



    Being out and about in the community is a great way to practice these skill. I have heard a lot of homeschoolers say thoigh that they are continually needing to limit social time, atleast in my area, because there are lots of things gojng on, so its good to pick and choose what works for your family.





  • maggiemom2000
    March 6, 2013 at 9:56 PM

    Don't give it another thought, unless you lock her in the closet, your child will be socialized. You will get together wtih family and friends, you will go to the store and talk to people etc.

    http://www.homeschool.com/articles/socialization/default.asp

    What About Socialization?

    If only homeschoolers had a nickel for every time they heard the question, "... but what about socialization?"  That infamous socialization question, for any seasoned homeschooler, is quite a humorous one!

       

    Although non-homeschoolers worry that homeschooling may turn children into social misfits, we know that the opposite is true and that POSITIVE socialization is one of the best reasons to homeschool your children. During Homeschool.com's 2005 Summer Teleconference I had the pleasure of interviewing Diane Flynn Keith and we openly talked about the socialization issue.  You can listen to the hour-long interview from your computer, by clicking on the play button below.

    "Socialization is actually meant to prepare children for the real world, which means learning to interact and deal with people of all ages, races, and backgrounds," says Diane Flynn Keith. "In this case, homeschooling actually does a betterjob of this because homeschoolers spend more actual time out in society."

    Research supports this.  According to Home Schooling and the Question of Socialization by Richard G. Medlin, "Home-schooled children are taking part in the daily routines of their communities. They are certainly not isolated; in fact, they associate with--and feel close to--all sorts of people."

    He continues, "Home schooling parents can take much of the credit for this. For, with their children's long-term social development in mind, they actively encourage their children to take advantage of social opportunities outside the family. Home-schooled children are acquiring the rules of behavior and systems of beliefs and attitudes they need. They have good self-esteem and are likely to display fewer behavior problems than do other children. They may be more socially mature and have better leadership skills than other children as well. And they appear to be functioning effectively as members of adult society."

    This and other studies support the irony of the socialization issue in homeschooling that we have known for years, which is that traditional schools are actually more on a path of de-socialization.  In traditional schools students learn to stay in a class to which they've been assigned and are grouped according to age and academic level, and generally with students from the same geographic area and socio-economic background.

    So in a sense, as I like to say, many people are homeschooling because of socialization reasons.

    During our discussion, Diane Flynn Keith agreed that traditional schools are not conducive to socialization and in fact, that students are actually punished if they try to socialize in the classroom.

    She shared this ironic story, "I recall distinctly that my son spent a great deal of time in the classroom in the first grade, with his head down on his desk because he wanted to talk all the time to all his little friends around him and the teacher kept saying 'We're not here to socialize, young man.'"

    The structure and reality of traditional schools are teaching students to be passive and compliant, which can follow the children throughout life.  Children can learn to take abuse, to ignore miserable bosses or abusive spouses later on.  In a traditional school someone else usurps authority.

    This is where homeschooling comes in.  Kids in homeschooling develop self-confidence and self-esteem; they learn to deal with difficult people when they are developmentally ready.  When they are ready to go out into the world they know they have choices, a foundation developed in homeschooling.

    Research conducted by Michael Brady entitled Social Development in Traditionally Schooled and Homseschooled Children, a Case for Increased Parental Monitoring and Decreased Peer Interaction endorses this idea. Brady states, "There seems to be an overwhelming amount of evidence that children socialized in a peer-dominant environment are at higher risk for developing social maladjustment issues than those that are socialized in a parent monitored environment."

    In other words, socialization in homeschooling works better because children have more opportunities to be socialized through the modeling of good social behavior by caring adults rather than through peers, who do not know much more than they do.   Parents give their kids the skills they need to interact with other people and also have the chance to protect their children.

    So, the big question in homeschooling socialization is "Who do we want them learning life skills from?  Caring adults, or peers who don't know any more than they do?"

    "No," Flynn Keith jokes, "the REALLY big question is 'What about the prom?!'"

    Prom and graduation are viewed as rites of passage, which are important parts of children's lives; however, they do not need to be activities organized by the state or a school.  Many states and homeschool organizations have established proms and graduations for homeschoolers and a homeschooling family can create their own private way to celebrate rites of passage.  Also, many homeschoolers get invited to public school proms at local public schools through friends.

    Homeschoolers can participate in these activities because learning is faster in a homeschool setting, which means that students have more time to socialize.  Contrary to popular belief, students are not at home chained to the kitchen table and crying over their worksheets every day,  or peering out their work room windows with fear and disdain!

    Quite the opposite! Homeschooling gives children more time to be out in the world, with people of different ages so they can figure out where their place in the world is, what they like/dislike, etc.  With the extra time, homeschoolers also make an effort to create socialization opportunities for themselves, and to take advantage of those offered in their communities.

    Organized spelling and geography bees, math leagues, and science clubs give homeschoolers a chance to compete academically; and swimming, soccer, baseball and other sports also allow them to interact with their peers in athletic competition.

    Scouting, 4-H, and other activities are community-based and open to anyone and so provide homeschoolers with a variety of choices for socialization.  Below are some other useful ideas for finding chances to socialize.

    Opportunities to Socialize

    • Get connected with homeschooling support groups, both state and local organizations.
      (Homeschool.com has a complete list of local homeschooling support groups at:http://www.homeschool.com/supportgroups)
       

    • Find pen pals or e-pals (email).
       

    • Participate in homeschool family get-togethers, where you can often find out about non-publicized cooperative classes and field trips.
       

    • Get involved in community resources and opportunities - sports, scouting, dance/theater, etc. Contact your local parks and recreation departments.
       

    • Check out your community college, which is a good source for older students and allows them to interact with a lot of different people of different ages.
       

    • Volunteering. Volunteering is a great way to socialize but be aware there may be age restrictions, but some organizations will allow a child to accompany a parent volunteer.
       

    • Look into Camps.  Camp is a wonderful chance for socialization and most camps have multi-age groups and counselors who act as role models.
       

    • Think about summer school, which is an opportunity to experience a school setting.

    The homeschool support groups mentioned above work as support for the entire homeschooling family, which is important because homeschooling parents also need socialization; they need to have support, advice, and a sounding board from time-to-time and it is especially helpful if it is another homeschooling parent. Homeschooling organizations make it a priority to provide support for the homeschooling family and to allow them to feel connected.

    So, as we've always known, there is no "socialization issue" in homeschooling.  If anything, homeschoolers make a concerted effort to seek out and engage in many social activities and in many ways have more opportunities for doing so than traditionally schooled children do.


  • JocelynsMama1
    March 6, 2013 at 10:18 PM

    how do youfind homeschool groups to get involved with?

  • hipmomto3
    March 6, 2013 at 11:07 PM
    Word of mouth, yahoo groups, facebook, local groups on CM...

Homeschooling Moms