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leighp1
Update on my youngest daughter
by leighp1
March 6, 2013 at 7:17 AM


My youngest daughter has Selective Mutism and Social Phobia.  We have been getting her evaluated for these and I guess along the way they are also evaluating her on her educational level. They are having some real hard times with it too.  The first evaluation she cried almost the entire two hours.  This week we have had two two hour sessions and she cried the first one, but the second one she made it almost all the way through. Even though they have not finished the entire evaluation (still have one more two hour session in April), they have said she definitely has selective mutism and social phobia.  They are also saying that it is coming up that she is a perfectionist and that might be one reason why she won't talk.  Because she wants to get it perfect and if its not perfect, then she shuts down.  Makes sense. 

Now on a positive note, she is 11 years old and is technically in the 5th grade.  Well she is testing 8th grade, 9th month and that is taking into count her selective mutism where she breaks down and can't answer the questions.  I was amazed at these findings.  I knew she was smart, but never thought she was this smart.  I am now having to figure out what to do with her education side of things.  I don't want to jump her from the 5th and 6th grade stuff to 8th grade stuff, but I don't want her to be bored either.

Any thoughts??

Replies

  • romacox
    by romacox
    March 6, 2013 at 7:34 AM

    This is good news.  I have been following your posts, and anxious to know what has happened. It sounds like she might be an analytical child.  The following video describes these children. The NT Style Of Learning

      Since these children do not like going over things they already know: Perhaps you could do  8th grade work combined with brief reviews of  the other grade levels so as to be sure she does not miss any important steps. 

  • leighp1
    by leighp1
    March 6, 2013 at 7:55 AM

    OMG!!!!  I just listened to the video and this describes my daughter to a "T"!!!  She gets interested in one thing, masters it and wants to move on.  And the reading part was interesting to me as well because she does not like reading, but will read if I am there with her and read with her.  I was thinking that 11 was too old to be read to like that, but now I am thinking that maybe we will do some more together reading. 


    Thank you so much for sending me that link.  I am going to research NT (rational) learning more.

    Quoting romacox:

    This is good news.  I have been following your posts, and anxious to know what has happened. It sounds like she might be an analytical child.  The following video describes these children. The NT Style Of Learning

      Since these children do not like going over things they already know: Perhaps you could do  8th grade work combined with brief reviews of  the other grade levels so as to be sure she does not miss any important steps. 


  • romacox
    by romacox
    March 6, 2013 at 9:59 AM


    I am glad I was able to provide some valuable information for you. Understanding her learning style and personality should prove to be most helpful to both of you.  That has been the case with  me.  A good book on the subject is "Please Understand Me II", by David Kiersey.

    My youngest grandson, Koty  never attended public school. His mother home schooled him from day one. She read to him regularly, and it was a fun time for them both. Once he learned his ABC's she tried using flash cards to teach him phonics, It quickly became a chore for both of them. I reminded her of a game I used to teach children to read. It changed everything. Koty quickly learned his phonic sounds, and begged to play more often than his mother desired. He was able to read the early reader books. He even sounded out difficult words like Premium at local gas stations as they played games of reading words while traveling. However, he had no desire to pick up a book and read by himself. Having read the book "Better Late than Early" by Raymond & Dorothy Moore, his mother continued reading to him. At the age of eight, he picked up a book, and asked his mother to read it for him. Not having the time at that moment, she declined. Impatient to wait for her, he began reading the book himself, and had an insatiable reading appetite thereafter. Within six months he was reading at a fifth grade level. , "Better Late than Early"  explains how important it is to adjust to a child's natural tendencies rather than making him/ her fit into a square peg of someone else's design.

    So when your daughter is ready, she will show you just how well she can actually read.  Meanwhile, play games like taking turns sounding out words while you are in the car, and read together on a regular basis. 

     

    meQuoting leighp1

    OMG!!!!  I just listened to the video and this describes my daughter to a "T"!!!  She gets interested in one thing, masters it and wants to move on.  And the reading part was interesting to me as well because she does not like reading, but will read if I am there with her and read with her.  I was thinking that 11 was too old to be read to like that, but now I am thinking that maybe we will do some more together reading. 


    Thank you so much for sending me that link.  I am going to research NT (rational) learning more.

    Quoting romacox:

    This is good news.  I have been following your posts, and anxious to know what has happened. It sounds like she might be an analytical child.  The following video describes these children. The NT Style Of Learning

      Since these children do not like going over things they already know: Perhaps you could do  8th grade work combined with brief reviews of  the other grade levels so as to be sure she does not miss any important steps. 




  • romacox
    by romacox
    March 6, 2013 at 10:14 AM

    P.S. something else that has really works well with analytical children:

    I make sure to buy books they really enjoy.  For one little boy that was Star Wars.  I would begin reading while pointing to the words, and periodically pause.  Excited to continue the story, he would begin reading.  When he slowed down, I began reading again.  We continued in this manner. 

    Once he became confident in his reading, I began teaching him root words , suffixes and prefixes along with their meaning (improving vocabulary reading and spelling).  We would play a game in which I would point out big words to see if he could sound out the word.  He did really well with this, and enjoyed it.  But one day he could not decode the word, and began to cry saying, "I wish I were dead".  Having studied the book Please Under Stand Me II, I knew this was not just drama.  He was feeling it.

    So I simply huged him, and said I know.  After a moment, I said, " sometimes you are too hard on yourself.  You would not wish me dead if I messed up, would you?".  He replied, "no", and began to smile.  So it is a matter of teaching them not to be so hard on themselves... that failing is an important part of success. 

  • AllofFive19
    March 6, 2013 at 12:54 PM

    How about bumping her up a level at a time, instead of going straight from her age level to her learning level. That way she has time to adjust to the new work.

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    March 6, 2013 at 1:12 PM
    I know how hard it is to have children with differences ( both of my sons have Autism). Always be open to doing things different you never know what it will be that works for your child.

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