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I have come to loathe the PS system, but she's talking about going back
February 25, 2013 at 5:40 PM

I didn't feel this way when we first started, but the more I've learned about home vs. public school, the more I've come to loate it. In my mind I see a cinderblock institution of brainwashing and sheeple training (yes, I know this may sound a tad overboard). I'm of the mindset that rote memorization and learn-and-forget is useless... it doesn't truly educate. For a thousand reasons, I disapprove of public education for my children.

I was doing some housework earlier and DD9 google searched private schools in our area. I'd told her previously that whenever she went to high school it would be a private school, so that's what gave her the notion. Plus her desire to no longer homeschool.

It's not that she really hates homeschool. I think she misses being around kids. Namely recess. I have to see this look of longing on her face whenever we drive by her old PS and the kids are on the playground. We go to co-op and she gets to play but it's not the same. She also plays softball and the girls usually play on the playground before/after. She also has "recess" at home but lately the weather has been rainy and cold... when it's not raining, it's overcast and the ground is still soggy. Plus the outside toys have been neglected. The dog has carried some off and chewed them up. They've gotten dirty. We're buying a new swing/play set here soon, and now that I'm thinking about it we'll get some new outside toys as well.

Another problem is juggling my two little kids and the fun activities. It's hard to find time for science experiments with a clingy, fussy baby and a SPD toddler. She's been struggling in math too. She gives me grief about doing anything besides her time4learning.

Okay... after writing all this, I think I've found the problem. Our HS needs a complete overhaul. She's not being stimulated enough. There's not enough fun stuff going on. Not enough field trips. Not enough fun outside time (an easy fix, especially since Spring is almost here and we're already buying a new swing set). The art supplies are a mixed up mess. Her computer in her room is messed up (she's getting a new one whenever our tax return comes through). Not enough structure. I need a firm list/schedule. We are completely child-led save for math and LA, but some days she thinks that means lay around and do nothing.

Did I miss anything? I don't want her to go back to PS. Plus I'm pretty sure she'd be miserable within a week. She hated it before... except for recess/lunch/art.


  • mem82
    by mem82
    February 25, 2013 at 5:41 PM

    I sometimes have to write things out to see the solution, too 8)

  • Boobah
    by Boobah
    February 25, 2013 at 9:50 PM
    I think you see the problem, which is awesome! Try to see want would excite her. Do you live near one f the big homeschool conventions? If so, go one day by yourself, then maybe take her with you another day and let her have some input. Are there any homeschool groups? It's winter, so we barely leave our house right now and it's wearing on us too.
  • romacox
    by romacox
    February 26, 2013 at 7:28 AM

    If there is a home school group near you, you can join up with them for play days, field trips, ceremonies, and more.  Home school associations or yahoo groups are a good way to find one. 

    Good luck amandae 21

  • bluerooffarm
    February 26, 2013 at 7:50 AM

     I'm so glad you see the solution!  Winter is driving us bat poop crazy too; we are very ready for spring. 

    I would also avoid going past the brick and mortar school around recess if at all possible.  Thankfully my oldest son remembers how much he hated the ps, but I find that I have to remind myself about it every once in a while (like yesterday when their give a darn was busted and nothing went right).  Maybe a visit with some of the other kids later in the spring when they are all ready to mutiny because it is beautiful outside and they are stuck in the classroom bored stiff would help her remember that it is not all recess and art.

    Good luck!

  • DyslexiaParent
    February 26, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    At one time our DS thought he wanted to go back to public school too.. We were likewise totally unthrilled by the idea!  When we got to discussing precisely what his day was going to look like from getting up with the alarm clock, required to sit in a desk most of the day, can't go to the bathroom or get a snack whenever he wanted, have homework each night--dictated by a teacher who had no concern whatsoever for other school work or activities he had, etc. , our DS began to think better of it.  That coupled with my awareness that he needed more stimulation too helped alay his desire to go to public school.   After that, our schedule was so busy for awhile it wore *me* *out*!!  It was a passing issue that is no longer a concern at all.  ;-)

  • KrissyKC
    February 26, 2013 at 5:05 PM

    My eldest (11 now) has had these same issues all her life.   In regards to EVERYTHING.   I'm just not sure what to do anymore, except just move onto the other kids and leave some of her success (or failure) in her own hands.

    My son is ok, (he's almost 9)... most days he does his work, and when he doesn't feel like it... it is just a rare bad day... perfectly normal.

    My eldest daughter???   Nope... she's soooo smart, but makes no effort at anything... every approach we've taken has been rejected.   She won't practice anything that she's involved in without my forcing her to.   She won't do ANY amount of independent work with any reasonable effort.   She skips forward in time4learning and fails the quizzes and tests there just because she didn't want to read it.  

    She cries if we tell her stuff like, "If you want to be in the Choir, the teacher has asked that you practice the songs.  If you won't practice you cannot be involved."    She moans about how she can't keep up with the girls in basketball, but refuses to practice dribbling unless I do it WITH her. 

    She has a real hard time socially, too.   I FINALLY taught her to ride a bike when she was 8, and she rode it for two days... then refused to ever ride a two wheeler again.  She didn't even fall or anything.   She gets in the other kids faces and has to be the loudest child in the group.  If the other kids don't know how to take her (which they usually don't)... then her life is simply over.  

    She refuses to take care of her body... ugh, that is such a problem with us now that she's started her monthly!!!   She wets the bed heavily...  she was still peeing and defacating her pants as late as 9 yrs old...

    Because she won't brush her hair and lies to us about it, we have been having her hair cut shorter and shorter... but she has that really thick curly hair, so it REALLY looks bad now if she doesn't do something with it.   I've let her go without nagging or fighting over it for four days and just couldn't take it anymore.  

    But it really makes me feel like a terrible mom taking her places.  I'm sorry that's a little selfish to feel that way.

    Anyway, she has been sob story-ing her teachers at church and I keep getting asked if they can take her to have her hair "fixed" for her... but I'm like... sure... as soon as she brushes it for three months straight without lying and throwing fits. 

    She is a terrific kid inside.. in her heart... I have NEVER had fits out of her... she doesn't do BAD stuff... she just doesn't DO the things she needs to do.

    My heart breaks for her... but at the same time, I could brain her myself sometimes.

    I've thought about putting her in public school and just letting her deal with the consequences of her own actions, but then I remember that when she was 7... we decided to pull her out because she was breaking down and could NOT handle the social problems.   She would do the same stuff at school for her teachers, too.   Just refuse to try or do anything.

  • happinessforyou
    February 26, 2013 at 5:12 PM

    Please remember not all public schools are the same. Just like not all homeschooling moms are the same. My kids did public and private school and there is a difference between them, but both had good points/bad points.

    I have never lived in a "bad"  neighborhood that had "bad"  schools. So maybe moving to a better neighborhood with a better public school system would change your opinion. IDK- GL

  • amandae21
    February 26, 2013 at 9:11 PM

    Our local public school was ranked in the 70th percentile for the state when we bought our house 5 years ago (DD was 4 - we bought this house because it was in a "good" district). It is now ranked 42.5th percentile. Not sure what happened really. The area hasn't been hard hit by the economy. Our property taxes have gone up more than I would think acceptable in the last 5 years (property taxes pay for public schools and generally equate the quality of the school... more money = better school).

    Quoting happinessforyou:

    Please remember not all public schools are the same. Just like not all homeschooling moms are the same. My kids did public and private school and there is a difference between them, but both had good points/bad points.

    I have never lived in a "bad"  neighborhood that had "bad"  schools. So maybe moving to a better neighborhood with a better public school system would change your opinion. IDK- GL

  • kttycat84
    March 1, 2013 at 2:51 AM

    My 6 yo asks to go back to public school about once a month...and she only went for 2 weeks. For her, it's all about missing the other kids and recess. We live in a great neighborhood so she plays outside with all her former classmates every day and I think that might make it harder for her, since they all talk about how they miss having her in class.

    She's starting a karate class soon and I hope that will help. I think she just wants to feel like a normal kid sometimes. It's hard on her not being around a lot of other homeschooled kids.

    I think you're doing a great job! Knowing that there's a problem is half the battle and I'm sure you'll figure out how to fix it in no time :)

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