How do you handle when your child is disrespectful to you, or when they call you names? For the first time my 6 year old called me something completely disrespectful when he was angry. I probably overreacted....more out of hurt then anything else.
When my daughter was that age and disrespected me, she would be grounded from everything and I'd explain to her that why it's not nice to talk to someone like that, even out of anger. If she did it again while grounded she would get a spanking.
I stop and look them right in the eyes and tell them that we do not say those things. No one has the right to call people names, put other people down and make them feel bad, no matter how angry you are. Then I take TV away. They only get about 2 hours a day so that is the last thing they want taken away and they know that they've done something really bad if it gets taken away.
My six year old called me a witch the other day when we were leaving the library. I was taking my time leaving, talking to the librarian, and my daughter wanted to leave right then. So she says "come on witch" I couldn't believe it. She has never called me a name before so I wasn't expecting it. Both my girls are respectful, they don't hear me calling anyone names so they just don't call me names, now each other is a different story! I had to leave the library and talk to her in my truck. Needless to say she will never call me THAT name again. She said she heard it on TV and didn't think it was something bad to say. I could tell by the look on her face that she really didn't think it was a bad name.
I ask my son if I call him names. Obviously I don't. Then I ask him why he thinks its okay to call me names. I ask him how he would feel if I called him names when I'm upset. Then I tell him it's okay to be upset, but not to take it out on others. If he's understanding and it seems he got the message I don't follow up with any punishment. If he's still upset and doesn't listen he'll go to his room until he's ready to talk about it again.
My daughter, age 6, is very very strong willed. I've really had to come down on her hard. Just recently she has tried to pull what I would call a tantrum, though not nearly as bad as what I've seen other kids do..lol. It is still completely unacceptable in our house. My boys would have never dreamed of trying to pull something like this. She has also tried to begin talking disrespectfully to me.
Spanking her does not do any good at all. The worst punishment we can give her is to make her go to her room or to time out. I make her stay at least 15 minutes because it usually takes her this long to calm down. Then, I go to her and we have a talk. If she is not willing to listen then she has to sit another 15 minutes. By the second 15 minute time out, she is usually ready to talk and apologize.
My boys were completely different at that age. All I had to do is just look at them and they would hush up..lol. A spanking definitely worked for them.
Some great advice given ladies, but may I suggest one step further? We also need to look at our own actions as well and what we may be modeling to our children. Do we watch shows that allow disrespect and are they allowed to watch? Have they caught us disrespecting the President or any other leader just because we may not agree with them? Younger children really don't understand the difference between disrespecting someone they know and someone they don't. Shutting down the disrespect immediately is vital, but it is also a great opportunity to do an overall check.