Homeschooling Moms

paris2lmp
Please help! How to say "no" without hurting feelings (OT)
February 23, 2013 at 12:46 AM

My sister in law just recently started a home-based business selling natural spa products through Lemon Grass, and she is super excited and, of course, wanting to sell to family and friends first. I TOTALLY get that! But the thing is that while I am glad she is doing well and is selling a product line that she loves, I personally am not interested.

As a massage and aroma therapist, I use professional grade products that are supplied to me through the spa I subcontract in. We even carry our own line of pure therapeutic proffessional grade essential oils so that we can provide high quality customized blends to our clients.

I tried right from the beginning to just politely explain that to her, but now she is contacting me again and again trying to get me to buy scented massage oils from her. I just don't know how to say "no" without hurting her feelings and having her be mad at me. Also, there is an issue of finances too. We buy our oils and supplies at wholesale prices, because we are a business, my boss isn't going to be open to spending more money on a lower quality product, or even a product of equal quality. Her latest email was asking me what kind of scented massage oils I use most on my clients....insinuating that SHE could easily supply them. I

IDK.....I'm just very much at a loss on how to handle this without causing needless drama within our family. Anyone have any suggestions? (PS: I'm also posting this in another group in the hopes of getting advice from different angles, so I'm sorry if some of you see it twice.)

Replies

  • Jinx-Troublex3
    February 23, 2013 at 1:52 AM
    I'd just be honest. I love you but have another supplier. Good luck.
  • littlelambe2
    February 23, 2013 at 1:57 AM

    I'd be simple and sweet, but straight to the point. Something like, "thanks for thinking of me, but I'll have to decline." Say it over and over and don't try to expand. Her offer is simply one you can't accept. Period. 

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    February 23, 2013 at 11:37 AM
    Put the blame on your employer & tell her that they are under contract with that company & has told you & all your fellow employes that you have to use that product because of that. This way she can't be mad at you because you have no control.
  • CatFishMom
    February 23, 2013 at 9:02 PM

     Yeah, this. It's annoying when people keep pushing after theyve been told no.


    Quoting usmom3:

    Put the blame on your employer & tell her that they are under contract with that company & has told you & all your fellow employes that you have to use that product because of that. This way she can't be mad at you because you have no control.


     

  • cjsmom1
    by cjsmom1
    February 23, 2013 at 10:35 PM

    I would explain that you get it at a discount through another supplier since it's for the company. It's honest and shows that it isn't personal.

  • KrissyKC
    February 23, 2013 at 11:15 PM

    I'm sorry, sis, I've told you before that I'm not in the position to buy your products consistently.   I wish you luck in your endeavor, though.


  • blueyedbaker
    February 24, 2013 at 12:03 PM

    If you tell her that you can't buy her products because the boss says no, and she still asks you, then she isn't listening to you, she just wants to sell the products and doesn't care enough to stop asking. Just keep telling her you aren't able to buy anything, and maybe eventually she'll hear you and stop asking you. It's very hard when it comes to family and money or a business. 

  • mem82
    by mem82
    February 24, 2013 at 12:06 PM
    I was going to suggest this too

    Quoting usmom3:

    Put the blame on your employer & tell her that they are under contract with that company & has told you & all your fellow employes that you have to use that product because of that. This way she can't be mad at you because you have no control.
  • JTE11
    by JTE11
    February 25, 2013 at 2:00 PM

    I'd just say that you are happy for her that she is getting her business up and running but that you just have no need for her products because you have a supplier that you intend to stay with. Thank her for thinking of you but that you really do have no need for her products for your business. Wish her luck with her endeavor and sign off. And if she sends any more emails after that, delete them. If she is still persistent after that and tries to corner you in person , just say we aren't interested, thank you. At some point she's got to get the idea that it's not going to happen. Just because she is selling stuff doesn't mean you have to buy it, or even feel bad that you're not buying it. If there is any drama that comes from this it will be hers, not yours, so don't feel bad about it if it does happen. It's incredibly presumptuous of her to just think you will buy her stuff. Sometimes no matter how delicately you say something someone will have hurt feelings or get angry but that's not on you, that's on them to deal with. If you are polite the whole time you've done nothing wrong. Just keep saying no thank you.

  • kirbymom
    February 25, 2013 at 3:59 PM

    Actually, this is a very real legal position for her. She wouldn't be saying anything that isn't true. I bet if she were to ask her employers, they would tell her the same thing. 

    Quoting usmom3:

    Put the blame on your employer & tell her that they are under contract with that company & has told you & all your fellow employes that you have to use that product because of that. This way she can't be mad at you because you have no control.


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