Homeschooling Moms

rsrangel
Fighting
January 27, 2013 at 10:26 AM

The fighting in my house between 2 of my boys is SO bad today, I can't stand it anymore!!!  They are 8 and 5, and today I have to keep them completely separated because every time they get near each other my 5 year old starts being a pest trying to aggravate him, and my 8 year old screams at the top of his lungs.  Then once the 5 year old decides to go over and attempt to play nicely, my 8 year old STILL screams at the top of his lungs for NO reason!!!!  I have never seen kids fight as badly as these 2 are today.  I never did this with my brother (but we were 10 years a part so maybe that's why).  Please tell me I'm not the only 1 that has days like this!

Replies

  • BramblePatch
    January 27, 2013 at 10:44 AM
    My kids are 11 months apart. Thats pretty common behavior here, lol...
  • RatherBeReading
    January 27, 2013 at 11:31 AM

    My oldest is 10 and acts like she is PMSing pretty much everyday nowadays, and I am always breaking up arguments between her and the younger 2 (almost 9 and 5). The younger 2 actually get along most of the time. If I have to break up an argument multiple times in a short period of time, they get separated for 20-30 minutes. The one who instigated it goes to the bedroom and the other one stays out in the living room or kitchen. If it gets physical, I generally let them duke it out. 9 times out of 10, nobody gets hurt, and they end up laughing their butts off after a few minutes. 


  • bether89
    January 27, 2013 at 11:54 AM

     My boys are 9 and 4.  We have days like that too.

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    January 27, 2013 at 12:31 PM
    We have days like that too, mine are 9&7 that get into it. My views on it are they have a need that isn't getting met be it attention from me or they are hungry or they are starting to not feel well, it is my job to figure out what it is & help them fix it but until that is done I need to keep them separate so it doesn't escalate in to something worse.
  • momoftwobugs
    January 27, 2013 at 12:40 PM

    Mine are 5 and 7 and we have days like this too. I do find that they are worse and more frequent when someone isn't feeling well or they have been inside too much. It has been better the last week since we've had nice weather and they've been outside for large amounts of time. Physical activity tires them out so they don't fight as much.

    I agree that separating them for a while seems to help a lot. We have to do this at least once a day. I also try to make sure that they get one on one time with me and down time to themselves. It may only be 15 to 20 minutes a day but that little bit can be wonderful. We try for 30 minutes per kid a day. While I do one on one time, the other gets their alone time. It has helped a lot.

  • kirbymom
    January 27, 2013 at 12:52 PM

    LOL  You are NOT the only one!.  Hubby says that it is standard male aggression going back to the caveman days.  :)  

    You know what we do when things start going down this road?  We tell them that if they don't stop this , we are going to tie them together, meaning they will have to go wherever each one decides to go, including the bathroom or going to bed or going outside. They will be each other's shadow. At first, this would work so that we never had to tie them together. Then, as this would progress, we ended up having to do this for a short time. It settled them dowm=n like you wouldn't believe.  We alos would tell them that if they found they couldn't handle each other, we told them they were going to have to 1. hug each other 2. kiss each other on the cheek, like they meant it and 3. tell each other they loved each other so much.  This always got to them. They couldn't stand the thought of having to hug and kiss the cheeks. LOL   That mostly always did the trick and settled things down but there were days even that didn't work. SO we made them do jumping jacks and run up and down the steps and run in circles, all kinds of exercising activity so that they didn't have the energy to fight anymore. :)   

  • faeriemom1972
    January 27, 2013 at 12:56 PM

    Yeah, I do have days like this. And my 2 children are 15 YEARS apart!!! It doesn't say much for the 21 year old does it??

  • Annastacialynn
    January 27, 2013 at 12:56 PM

     http://ranperram.blogspot.com/2012/11/lets-get-along-t-shirt.html 

    You need one of these. :) I am going to try it when my kids are a bit older. :)

  • Jinx-Troublex3
    January 27, 2013 at 12:58 PM
    My younger two bug eachother to no end...OMG!

    I can leave Ian, the oldest, home alone or with Sean or Heidi but NEVER H & S home alone together! Someone would be dead when I got back!

    We do some subjects with H & S together. I have to sit them so they aren't facing each other, like at angles, or one will start. Screaming, "STOP STARING AT ME! @@ They aren't staring ...he's across from you...where else should he look??? I had days I was so annoyed I put a trifold board between them
  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    January 27, 2013 at 1:25 PM
    Not to offend but how do you think forcing them to share the same space is going to make them feel anything but negative feelings for you or each other? If my parents had made me use something like that with my siblings I would have harbored resentment for all of them. To me all that will do is encourage them to pretend to get along, lie & hide their negative feelings because they get punished (they will see the shirt as a punishment) for having those feelings & for expressing them. Just my 2 cents.

    Quoting Annastacialynn:

     http://ranperram.blogspot.com/2012/11/lets-get-along-t-shirt.html 


    You need one of these. :) I am going to try it when my kids are a bit older. :)

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