Homeschooling Moms

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superm0m877
So frustrated :(
January 26, 2013 at 9:39 AM

I am going back and forth in my mind about homeschooling for a long time. I feel that I want to homeschool but I have so many doubts. I  had planned on homeschooling but i chickened out and put my daughter in public school. She seems to like it, we've had a couple problems but nothing major. Her school is closing down after this school year tho, so we are left with very few good options. 

My problems are these.. I can't really afford to put her in a bunch of activities so she can meet other kids, I have yet to find any type of homeschooling group that is free. There really arent many kids on our street. I dont have any friends who have kids my dd's age. She's very social. I'm not sure how this part will work out. 

I'm in college. When I'm done with my degree I plan on working. I don't know how homeschooling is going to work out once that happens. (about 4-6 years from now)

My husband isn't against it, but he doesn't really seem to be FOR it either. He is their stepdad, he basically said it's up to me what I choose to do. I wish he was more supportive and involved in the decision, I feel like I'm completely on my own with this. 

Honestly, my dd drives me NUTS sometimes lol She is super hyper, talks more than the average 5 yr old (seriously no joke!) Which is good, but sometimes I am thankful from the break I get when she is in school. If I homeschool, I won't have a break. 

I will admit I am a bit of a procrastinator. I am not a morning person. I can see myself skipping a day here and there cuz I'm busy with the house or my own schooling. 

 I consider my children's education a top priority. I am worried I will fail them. I want them to do their best, be their best, etc and I am worried I won't be able to live up to that. But I don't feel public school will accomplish that either. 

I have three children. dd is 5, ds is 4 and ds2 is 18 months.  the dr suspects something is going on with my 4yr and is going to be screened for autism and other disorders. how in the world will I handle that? On the other hand, I have NO faith in public school when it comes to doing their best for him. 

I'm just so confused. Deep down I know I want to homeschool but when it comes down to it I have so much fear and anxiety about it. 

Replies

  • BramblePatch
    January 26, 2013 at 10:00 AM
    I think the anxiety and fear is normal, but I think your husbands attitude is making it worse. He didn't marry just you...he took on a family and he needs to take in that responsibility or take a hike. Your kids and their needs should be your family's top priority.

    That said, your kids are young. Try it for a year. You won't screw them up for life if it doesn't work out. We don't start at a certain time....just sometime after breakfast and before lunch. We skip days often....which is why we school year round. You will find a groove. I do spend money on activities BUT they are ones the kids woukd do whether they were in PS or not. In fact, DS is the only homeschooled kid in hockey and gymnastics and while DD rides with a couple HS kids, there are non in her skating class. We don't do a HS group or co-op. We have no neighbor kids. We make it work :)
  • momoftwobugs
    January 26, 2013 at 10:07 AM

    I think the fear and anxiety is normal. I know that I went back and forth many times before I made the decision and in the end I did it because it was best for me and my children. That's what it comes down to.

    First of all for your 4 year old, there will be many things that you can do to help him. Once you know what is going on you can find support and resources to help you deal with it. You will be able to do it because you are his mom and you want what's best for him. That will include putting him in school or homeschooling to meet his needs. I say that because we are in the process of seeing what is going on with my 5 year old son and I can tell you first hand that dealing with the school system is nothing but a headache and they don't care about the child. You are your son's best resource and greatest advocate so you will be able to do whatever it takes to make him the best that he can be. I don't know where moms get the strength to deal with things like this, but we do because we have to.

    As far as activities go, look into things like Girl Scouts. It isn't really that expensive and there are financial aid options available and it will give her interaction with girls her own age. We use that for one of our activities. Are you involved in church? If so that can also be a good place for social interaction and many churches have homeschool groups. If you aren't then look around your area and call some of the churches around to see if any of them have homeschool groups. Those are usually low or no cost and can be great for interaction.

  • superm0m877
    January 26, 2013 at 10:07 AM

    In my husbands defense we just got married 3 months ago. He has no children of his own, and this step-parenting thing is new to him. I think he is hesitant to make any decisions because I am their mom and he doesn't want to overstep his boundaries. I am trying to show him that he needs to make decisions with me, especially since he provides for us! It wouldn't be right if I went up to him and said hey I'm gonna homeschool I need you to pay for this that and the other and he had no say to begin with if I was gonna homeschool or not. I just wish he would hurry up and get more comfy with helping in decisions so I can make a decision this! lol 

    Quoting BramblePatch:

    I think the anxiety and fear is normal, but I think your husbands attitude is making it worse. He didn't marry just you...he took on a family and he needs to take in that responsibility or take a hike. Your kids and their needs should be your family's top priority.

    That said, your kids are young. Try it for a year. You won't screw them up for life if it doesn't work out. We don't start at a certain time....just sometime after breakfast and before lunch. We skip days often....which is why we school year round. You will find a groove. I do spend money on activities BUT they are ones the kids woukd do whether they were in PS or not. In fact, DS is the only homeschooled kid in hockey and gymnastics and while DD rides with a couple HS kids, there are non in her skating class. We don't do a HS group or co-op. We have no neighbor kids. We make it work :)


  • superm0m877
    January 26, 2013 at 10:10 AM

    Girl scouts is a great idea!

    Quoting momoftwobugs:

    I think the fear and anxiety is normal. I know that I went back and forth many times before I made the decision and in the end I did it because it was best for me and my children. That's what it comes down to.

    First of all for your 4 year old, there will be many things that you can do to help him. Once you know what is going on you can find support and resources to help you deal with it. You will be able to do it because you are his mom and you want what's best for him. That will include putting him in school or homeschooling to meet his needs. I say that because we are in the process of seeing what is going on with my 5 year old son and I can tell you first hand that dealing with the school system is nothing but a headache and they don't care about the child. You are your son's best resource and greatest advocate so you will be able to do whatever it takes to make him the best that he can be. I don't know where moms get the strength to deal with things like this, but we do because we have to.

    As far as activities go, look into things like Girl Scouts. It isn't really that expensive and there are financial aid options available and it will give her interaction with girls her own age. We use that for one of our activities. Are you involved in church? If so that can also be a good place for social interaction and many churches have homeschool groups. If you aren't then look around your area and call some of the churches around to see if any of them have homeschool groups. Those are usually low or no cost and can be great for interaction.


  • momoftwobugs
    January 26, 2013 at 10:40 AM

    It has been wonderful for my daughter. They can start in Kindergarten and she has learned so much. It is really good for the social butterflies too because there is always one or two that are really shy and those social butterflies always seem to bring those kids out of their shell and it's a great thing to watch.

    I was a co-leader last year and it is awesome to see all that the girls learn and do. It's so much more than it used to be. It was amazing to watch those girls last year and the transformation that happened as they learned and grew.

    Quoting superm0m877:

    Girl scouts is a great idea!

  • superm0m877
    January 26, 2013 at 10:45 AM

    i was just looking into it and the group for my area seems to always meet almost 2 hours away from here. :( That's way too far of a drive I'm trying to find something closer but it seems the group for my exact area discontinued in 2010. im in the detroit metro area, the girl scouts for my area is "southeast michigan" and they are meeting about 2 hours north of here. 

    Quoting momoftwobugs:

    It has been wonderful for my daughter. They can start in Kindergarten and she has learned so much. It is really good for the social butterflies too because there is always one or two that are really shy and those social butterflies always seem to bring those kids out of their shell and it's a great thing to watch.

    I was a co-leader last year and it is awesome to see all that the girls learn and do. It's so much more than it used to be. It was amazing to watch those girls last year and the transformation that happened as they learned and grew.

    Quoting superm0m877:

    Girl scouts is a great idea!


  • momoftwobugs
    January 26, 2013 at 10:48 AM

    I'm going to send you a message with some more information that may help with that.

    Quoting superm0m877:

    i was just looking into it and the group for my area seems to always meet almost 2 hours away from here. :( That's way too far of a drive I'm trying to find something closer but it seems the group for my exact area discontinued in 2010. im in the detroit metro area, the girl scouts for my area is "southeast michigan" and they are meeting about 2 hours north of here. 

    Quoting momoftwobugs:

    It has been wonderful for my daughter. They can start in Kindergarten and she has learned so much. It is really good for the social butterflies too because there is always one or two that are really shy and those social butterflies always seem to bring those kids out of their shell and it's a great thing to watch.

    I was a co-leader last year and it is awesome to see all that the girls learn and do. It's so much more than it used to be. It was amazing to watch those girls last year and the transformation that happened as they learned and grew.

    Quoting superm0m877:

    Girl scouts is a great idea!



  • pinkschoolhouse
    January 26, 2013 at 12:17 PM

     You stated that you consider your children's education top priority. This is why you won't fail. Since you know that you are a bit of a procrastinator, make up a schedule, and STICK to it. Your not a morning person, oh well, you don't have to hs in the early morning hours if you don't want to. You can homeschool any time of the day. I see your oldest one is just 5. It doesn't take that long to homeschool a child of that age. We did three increments of 20-30 minutes five days a week. It was PLENTY.

    I will be the first one to admit that I would like a break sometimes. You just have to make sure that you get some ME time. When I feel stressed, I tell DD that she has to leave me alone for a little while, go to her room, and do something on her own for maybe an hour. It does get better the older they get.

    I've lost all faith in the ps here. But that seems to make me that much more vigilant to do a good job educating my DD. You can do this. I would just sit down and have a long talk with your new husband. The fear and anxiety are so normal. Why wouldn't you be feeling anxious? Being responsible for your children's education is a big responsible, BUT, its very rewarding.

    You could always try and start your own homeschool support group so you could meet other moms (and their kids). That way it would be free. Maybe there are other moms in your area that are trying to find other homeschoolers. A great place to post a sign is the library. Homeschoolers hang out there a lot. LOL There is also 4H, Awana, etc. Good luck to you.

  • KickButtMama
    January 27, 2013 at 9:22 AM

    Umm, ok. Every single one of us faced similar doubt when we began. I didn't have my kids join in to any clubs or co-ops for about 5 years. We belong to a homeschool cooperative now, one I run, but we too couldn't afford a bunch of extracurriculars. 

    Lim in no way, shape or form a morning person. I have no idea how public schoolers get up everyday..lol.. The beauty of HS is that it can be done any time, any where. It takes, at most, a couple of hours, so you can do it in the evening, you can do it on weekends. Whatever works for your unique family. 

  • kirbymom
    January 27, 2013 at 2:20 PM

    Just so you know, you are experiencing very normal emotions about your decision to homeschool. Frankly, I would be more worried if you didn't feel any emotions regarding your decision to homeschool.

    That being said, I have never co-oped or gone to outside school activities with or for my kids. That also being said, my kids are every bit as social as the next kid. They have friends and go places, just not on an everyday scale.  And I will say that it isn't as necessary as has been been pushed for so many years now.  I have been where you are now. I have had the same fears. I even acted upon those fears. We moved to a place where they would have outside friends and activities. I wished to heaven that we had never made that decision. Ever!  The trade off for a social life just isn't worth it in my opinion.  But that is just me. There are so many out there that have made this work.  

    By going to the library, the grocery store, the gas station, the bank, and anywhere ele you want/need to go, will help him learn how to be social. You do not need other children to learn this concept. Are we teaching our children how to be children or are we teaching our children to be adults?  For this concept, children do not need other children. They need adult interaction. The reason children should be around other children, on occasion, is for the companionship and the freedom of being a child. To know, on a short term basis, that there is someone that sees, feels and thinks like * I * do.  This is for a short term socialization. Not for long term socialization. For the here and now. Not the down the road later, time. 

    This, as stated above, is just my opinion and everyone has a differnt belief and understanding. 

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