Homeschooling Moms

Featured Posts
rsrangel
dating rules
January 14, 2013 at 6:36 AM
What are your household dating rules? My kids are still little so i don't have to worry about it yet. My brother was talking about theirs after struggling with my niece which sparked my curiosity.

Replies

  • mem82
    by mem82
    January 14, 2013 at 6:59 AM
    Meh I don't even want to think about it! Lol No true dating by herself until 16 or 17.
  • bekalynne440
    January 14, 2013 at 7:12 AM

    We believe in more of courtship I guess.  We believe the only point in dating should be to find a person you will marry.  Casual dating just evokes unnecessary desires and a roller coaster of emotions.  Because of that, there won't be any dating until they are at a point where they are ready or close to ready to get married, or until they move out of the house.  I also believe your first kiss is something sacred and not to be given away lightly.

    Once a child chooses to marry someone and gets engaged, we will encourage a short engagement.  We believe in waiting to have sex until you're married.  When you know you're going to marry the person, it makes it difficult to not go further physically (DH and I struggled with this with our 14 month engagement).  We see dating as the time to figure out if you might marry that person, and the engagement is the preparation for marriage. 

    Our kids are still little, so we don't have to worry about this for quite some time.  Our rules come from our religious beliefs and our experiences.  I waiting until college to date and married the second person I dated.  I'm beyond thankful that I didn't casually date.  DH dated from middle school on up and has dealt with the flip side.

  • leighp1
    by leighp1
    January 14, 2013 at 7:45 AM

    My daughter is 15 and has gone out with friends.  I am not sure if it is truly a "date" or not or just going out as friends.  She really has no "boyfriend".  She concentrates on her schoolwork and she lives on her Xbox.  She is a good kid and is not the "boy craze" girl that most are.  I trust my daughter to the end of the earth and if/when she decides she is ready to date, she will do so. I don't want her doing anything behind my back so I will be open at all times with her.  Sneaking is more fun than being allowed to do something, so I am allowing her, hopefully preventing her from sneaking.

    That being said, I really don't want her to go out with a boy who drives until after she gets her license, so if anything happened, she could drive them home.  We also have a contract that if she was to ever drink or her friend drinks, she is to call us.  We will come pick her up, no questions asked.  Again, hoping for the openness which will in turn be honesty.

  • coala
    by coala
    January 14, 2013 at 10:10 AM

    Daddy thinks they should wait until they are 18.  I am more realistic and think 16 and group outings with a boy they like.  Just b/c Daddy didn't date until he was 18 doesn't mean that it works that way for everyone.  We will have strict rules in place for when it does happen, but we will cross that bridge when it does.  My ODD has tons of crushes and she is almost 7, so I can see where this is going.....I am a little concerned.  LOL

  • somuchlove4U
    January 14, 2013 at 10:13 AM
    This.

    Quoting bekalynne440:

    We believe in more of courtship I guess.  We believe the only point in dating should be to find a person you will marry.  Casual dating just evokes unnecessary desires and a roller coaster of emotions.  Because of that, there won't be any dating until they are at a point where they are ready or close to ready to get married, or until they move out of the house.  I also believe your first kiss is something sacred and not to be given away lightly.

    Once a child chooses to marry someone and gets engaged, we will encourage a short engagement.  We believe in waiting to have sex until you're married.  When you know you're going to marry the person, it makes it difficult to not go further physically (DH and I struggled with this with our 14 month engagement).  We see dating as the time to figure out if you might marry that person, and the engagement is the preparation for marriage. 

    Our kids are still little, so we don't have to worry about this for quite some time.  Our rules come from our religious beliefs and our experiences.  I waiting until college to date and married the second person I dated.  I'm beyond thankful that I didn't casually date.  DH dated from middle school on up and has dealt with the flip side.

  • oredeb
    by oredeb
    January 14, 2013 at 10:19 AM

     dating, we dont do it,

     

     

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    January 14, 2013 at 11:34 AM
    My oldest is 19 & has Autism so he has little interest in dating. We have always told him that getting in to a relationship should be done only if they are both seriously interested in each other. Plus he has watched his cousin have a dozen relationships in a few months time & how fast they went from new to intimate to over. My son says that if he ever meets a girl he wants to be with that he wants to be friends first to get the know her & wait for marriage to be intimate.

  • KrissyKC
    January 14, 2013 at 12:55 PM

    We haven't thought much about it.

    The children's pastor at our church has kids close to our older kids' ages.   They actually told their kids that dating is for adults, and when they are adults, they can start dating.   Now, I'm sure they can go out in groups or such as they get older, but I don't know.

    My DH likes this idea... any serious dates really are for adults... 

    I was raised differently and went on dates and hung out with guys since I was about 12...  yeah, maybe that's why I got in so much trouble...


  • debramommyof4
    January 14, 2013 at 1:08 PM
    My kids are still to young to think about this but I think I will be chaperoning dates for awhile after they turn 16. I don't know though. A lot depends on their taste in boys, calm quite shy boys who are respectful to them and want to wait to have sex till marriage good, wild sex crazed boys bad. I also have to be able to trust they are strong enough to say no if a boy pressures them. But I think they will be at least 17 before they are allowed out on their own with a boy or girl Cruz I do have one boy.
  • kirbymom
    January 14, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    OMG! You are asking some tuffies here. lol  Well, in our family, there is no dating until they are sixteen. Now that doesn't mean they can't go with a group and they take one or two of their older siblings with them. But there is just no single one on one dating until they are sixteen.  Period. They also have to have their intended sit in our living room and let us meet them.  In fact, my kids do not know anyone I do not get to meet.  Also, if the girl is the one dating, they do not go over to their dates house unless both parents are there and if its a boy dating he does not go over to the girl's house unless the family is going to be there. And NO going into a room alone. Ever.  Why put temptation there for them to have to struggle with?    

Homeschooling Moms

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN