Homeschooling Moms

melindabelcher
overwhelmed and discouraged
Mel
October 13, 2012 at 4:04 PM
So we've been homeschooling for a month and a half but only gotten through about 2 weeks of materials. I'm homeschooling kindergarten(5yo, boy) I have a 3yo, 6mo and babysit my 5mo neice. while trying to help my husband with his homework, type his papers. Living in my parents home while my dad is in and out relapsing several times on drugs.
My parents have tried to offer to pay for him to go back to the private school. My husband wants him to reach certain school milestones by his birthday or he wants him enrolled in a school. He wants to see paperwork and seatwork and completed pages.
We went to virginia(live in mass) for an unexpected family emergency for 2 weeks, which initially set us back. My parents and husband think I'm incompetent.
I just want to cry. I have a hard time not taking anything they say like a personal attack. I do feel like life is overwhelming me...but if I tell dh it's going to only add fuel to his fire.
Any ideas? Would he be better in a school system? How can I fix this?

Replies

  • amandae21
    October 13, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    What kind of curriculum are you using?

    I'm not quite as stretched as you are, but I have a 2yo and 6mo. I'm not always available. We use time4learning.com for math and language arts. They have science/social studies as well but we do child-led learning for those. DD looooves Science and history, so these classes are a breeze.

    Time4learning does all of her language arts teaching. They have good instruction on the math but she needs my direct teaching to learn new concepts. For instance, I had to teach her the concept of multiplication and division, but she was able to build on those skills with relative ease using time4learning. They also have a reporting function which allows me to pull up what all she has done. It's fun too. If you decide to try it, let me know so I can give you info to put in for referral. I'm not trying to sell you or anything, I just really like it. It's been a lifesaver for our HSing. 

  • mem82
    by mem82
    October 13, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    *hugs*

    I know how overwhelming it can be, and you sound like you have a lot going on in your life. First, tell your parents, Thanks, but no thanks and ask them to quit offering because he is staying with you. Then, tell your husband that homeschooling curriculums are much larger than anything he would be doing in school so your son isn't behind at all. Explain to him everything that is going on and show him that that would have put anyone behind. Going out of town for two weeks would have put your son behind in public school.

    Next, get a schedule for your life, not so much for your school work. Yes, lots of life is going on, but if you look organized, then you'll look competent. If you look competent, pretty soon things will start looking like they are coming together. Then, before you know it, things will come together. Smile 'til you mean it. LOL

    Get up earlier than you are by half an hour. That's your time to get a jumpstart on everyone so you are hitting the ground running. That will help a ton!

  • romacox
    by romacox
    October 14, 2012 at 8:21 AM

    It sounds like homeschooling is not the main  source of your stress and discouragement. You mentioned that your husband relapses in and out of drugs...and he wants to oversee you?  I would suggest that you take the thing that is bothering you the most, and tackle that first.  Once you have that resolved, tackle the next one that bothers you the most...the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

    As for your husbands drug use, I recommend a support group for you.   Al Anon is one possibility.

  • melindabelcher
    Mel
    October 14, 2012 at 8:34 AM
    Its actually my dad but we live with my parents because we lost our house a couple months ago.
    My dads drug use is a huge problem because ww don't want our kids around my dad if he isn't going to stay clean and my mom said that wouldn't happen but hes relapsed several times in the last month and hes still at the house and we dont have the finances....yet, to get out on are on. But will in the next couple months.


    Quoting romacox:

    It sounds like homeschooling is not the main  source of your stress and discouragement. You mentioned that your husband relapses in and out of drugs...and he wants to oversee you?  I would suggest that you take the thing that is bothering you the most, and tackle that first.  Once you have that resolved, tackle the next one that bothers you the most...the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

    As for your husbands drug use, I recommend a support group for you.   Al Anon is one possibility.


  • BramblePatch
    October 14, 2012 at 10:27 AM
    Its sounds like a hot mess all the way around. We often have life interrupt learning and playing catch-up is par for the course here. But if you want my honest opinion, your parents and DH need to stop riding your butt. I would not tolerate it.

    What curriculum are you using?
    Is it to easy or too hard for your child?
    Do YOU like teaching it?
    Is your child reading at all?
    Where is your child in math?
    Whatvis the daily, non family emergency related, hold-up in getting school done?
    What milestones is DH insisting you meet?
  • coala
    by coala
    October 14, 2012 at 10:38 AM

    There are many things that have gone on in your life.  Just be patient.  These moms have given you some great advice.  BTW not all kids meat milestones at the same time or same rate.  I have a child who was reading before she was 4.  I have another that didn't start to read until she was abut half way through kinderagarten.  Every kids doesn it at their own pace.  I would also remind your husband that cumpulsory age to attend school isn't until the age of 6 in almost EVERY state.

  • romacox
    by romacox
    October 14, 2012 at 11:23 AM

    Thanks for clarifying my oversight:  . that it is not your husband, but your Dad that is relapsing in and out of drugs.  Living with parents can be very stressful, especially with the conditions you describe.

    Be patient with yourself, and once you get your thoughts together in a way that men understand, communicate to your husband.  (Men do not usually  understand emotions like women.  They want to hear logic. ) 

    Here are some things that should help:

    1.  If you are under stress, your children are likely under stress too.  Brain research shows that stress can be a good thing.  But chronic stress can effect the ability to learn, and to function properly.  (Scroll down to Stress and memory)  That is not to say you are to blame, but take things a step at a time, and be patient with yourself...ask your husband to be patient with you as well.  Home Schooled children learn faster, and will catch up quickly once you have other issues resolved. 

    2.  How To Home School (Pay particular attention to the "Learning Lifestyle Method: Eclectic)

    3.  Here are some good articles for your husband that explains how the school system is failing our kids and home school children outperform public school children:

    Home School Legal Defense Association and Independent Research.  

    Nation Wide Study

    Teachers Are Now The Biggest Influx Into The Home School Venue: Their Reasons Are Revealing


    Quoting melindabelcher:

    Its actually my dad but we live with my parents because we lost our house a couple months ago.
    My dads drug use is a huge problem because ww don't want our kids around my dad if he isn't going to stay clean and my mom said that wouldn't happen but hes relapsed several times in the last month and hes still at the house and we dont have the finances....yet, to get out on are on. But will in the next couple months.


    Quoting romacox:

    It sounds like homeschooling is not the main  source of your stress and discouragement. You mentioned that your husband relapses in and out of drugs...and he wants to oversee you?  I would suggest that you take the thing that is bothering you the most, and tackle that first.  Once you have that resolved, tackle the next one that bothers you the most...the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

    As for your husbands drug use, I recommend a support group for you.   Al Anon is one possibility.



  • melindabelcher
    Mel
    October 14, 2012 at 1:14 PM
    Thankyou!
    We are currently using heart of dakota, singapore math.
    The math is appropriate.
    We both love it :)
    Yes he is reading three and four letter words. Hes begining to put together sounds like "sl" "br" etc. he understands the long/short vowel sound and how to recognize them in words. He can write in cursive.
    In math he recognizes all the numbers, can write them. He can add subtract.
    Time management. With all the littles at the house all the time i feel theres little down time. I wake up tired so I don't have things prepared in advance
    He doesnt know....he wants the cities public school requirements and the private schools requirements and wants to compare that to his levels.

    Quoting BramblePatch:

    Its sounds like a hot mess all the way around. We often have life interrupt learning and playing catch-up is par for the course here. But if you want my honest opinion, your parents and DH need to stop riding your butt. I would not tolerate it.



    What curriculum are you using?

    Is it to easy or too hard for your child?

    Do YOU like teaching it?

    Is your child reading at all?

    Where is your child in math?

    Whatvis the daily, non family emergency related, hold-up in getting school done?

    What milestones is DH insisting you meet?


  • suziejax
    October 14, 2012 at 5:05 PM

    hugs

  • BramblePatch
    October 14, 2012 at 5:31 PM
    Here is what I do. I set aside one day a month to work on 4 weeks of planning. I lay out one week at a time. I keep a notes section of supplies needed, even obvious ones like crayons, so I ensure I have everything. On Sundsy night, late, I detail the coming weeks lesson plans...i make allowances for doctors appointments, etc... this week, for example, I had to finish the previous week on Monday and then cram 1 week into 3 days since Friday is the day the kids have extracurriculars.

    We plan on doing "school" 4 mornings a week. There is no set times, but we are done by lunch. 2 afternoons a week we may do 30 minutes of science or crafts.

    This works well for us.


    Quoting melindabelcher:

    Thankyou!
    We are currently using heart of dakota, singapore math.
    The math is appropriate.
    We both love it :)
    Yes he is reading three and four letter words. Hes begining to put together sounds like "sl" "br" etc. he understands the long/short vowel sound and how to recognize them in words. He can write in cursive.
    In math he recognizes all the numbers, can write them. He can add subtract.
    Time management. With all the littles at the house all the time i feel theres little down time. I wake up tired so I don't have things prepared in advance
    He doesnt know....he wants the cities public school requirements and the private schools requirements and wants to compare that to his levels.


    Quoting BramblePatch:

    Its sounds like a hot mess all the way around. We often have life interrupt learning and playing catch-up is par for the course here. But if you want my honest opinion, your parents and DH need to stop riding your butt. I would not tolerate it.



    What curriculum are you using?

    Is it to easy or too hard for your child?

    Do YOU like teaching it?

    Is your child reading at all?

    Where is your child in math?

    Whatvis the daily, non family emergency related, hold-up in getting school done?

    What milestones is DH insisting you meet?




Homeschooling Moms