Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

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Staying awake until your teens fall asleep
January 6, 2014 at 5:17 AM

Ok,I caught some flack from a family member because I went to bed before my kids (14&15 YEAR olds) this weekend. I was exhausted. I was up 19 hrs. The ASD kid was transitioning off meds, which had him  a mess emotionally.  I had to help my typical kid build a 6 foot tall cabinet closet which took 5 hours to build.  I cooked a large from scratch meal.  Both of my kids are pretty self reliant , they can make a snack, work the electronics , shower wo supervision. They don't operate the stove . They can  to enter my bedroom and wake me if they have a problem.  Safety is not an issue. Normally I'm up to 11 pm  but sometimes I need to go earlier.  I went up to my bed room at 930 pm . Both kids were fine, I told them I was headed up. It's not like I crawled into the room and bolted the doors..  They are teens.  If they needed me, I would have stayed up.  What are your thoughts on falling asleep before your teens fall asleep? I really don't see the issue. My dh doesn't see an issue with it either. He works tough hours so he is in bed 9:00 a lot so those last two hours of the day, I putz around myself. 



  • darbyakeep45
    January 6, 2014 at 5:56 AM

    Sounds like it would be fine.  You're the mom and you know them best:)

  • peaches_04
    January 6, 2014 at 5:59 AM
    I don't see an issue
  • TheJerseyGirl
    January 6, 2014 at 8:01 AM

     I do the same! My older two stay up so late!!!

  • SamMom912
    January 6, 2014 at 8:26 AM

    One time when sick I slept in our guest room during the day while sam (7, hfa) played in the playroom. Im a really light sleeper, he knew to wake me for anything,,,  if they know the rules, no cooking, no leaving,, then i think youre fine! 

  • JTMOM422
    January 6, 2014 at 10:45 AM

    This sounds fine to me. If there was an emergency you were in the house. It's not like you left to go sleep somewhere else. I wouldn't let it bother you momma. You need your sleep too.

  • melissaaytes
    January 6, 2014 at 10:53 AM

    They are 14 and 15.....I was staying home by myself at that age!!  And did you say they can shower without supervision?  I would sure as hell hope they can shower without supervision!!!  

  • Momof4AEMW
    January 6, 2014 at 11:18 AM

    From how you describe your kids I think that would be fine.  I have 2 for sure that I will be able to do that with, a 3rd is questionable, and the 4th no.  I'll have to stay up until she is asleep.  But each child is different. 

  • mamalena137
    January 6, 2014 at 12:19 PM

    I don't see the issue. If it bothered them so much, tell them to come over and stay up while you sleep. They're teenagers. I sleep in the same room as my 5 year old asd son and I've fallen asleep before him. He hasn't gotten turning the doorknob figured completely. If you had any worries you would've done something to make sure of their safety. Don't feel bad and don't let them make you feel you were wrong.

  • mabeetle
    January 6, 2014 at 12:52 PM

    Quoting melissaaytes:

    They are 14 and 15.....I was staying home by myself at that age!!  And did you say they can shower without supervision?  I would sure as hell hope they can shower without supervision!!!  

    Yeah, I did say that lol. It was a silly statement  however  I actually have friends who have kids my kids ages who for various reasons need supervision during bath/ shower time.   I can leave my kids at home alone too.  I kinda like this stage in their lives.  Still young enough to need their mom for a lot but can have small steps of independence like not having to take them shopping, they can go to the local amusement parks with friends for the day and I don't have to follow them all day, if I need help with laundry or cooking, they help.   Grant it they both have their on struggles but who doesn't?  I landed up hanging up on that complaining family member today. I really am tired of hearing of how I am not doing well with my kids.  My kids are honors/ high honor students, athletes doing sports they love, and are socially conscious/ respectful  to varying degrees . If that's bad, just shoot me now! Lol.  People are so judgey!

  • jowen905
    January 6, 2014 at 8:09 PM

     I don't see any problem with it - you are the one who knows your children's level of ability, maturity and responsibility.  My son's 12, and at least a couple of times a week my husband and I are in bed by 9:00 and he stays up until 9:30.  About the 3rd or 4th time that we allowed him to do that, we discovered he was still up at 10:00, so we told him he lost that privilege and had to go to bed at 9:00 if we did.  We did that for a couple of weeks and then gave him another chance.  He makes sure teeth are brushed and he's in bed by 9:30 now!

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