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amonkeymom
What are some things that you let your kid do that parents of NT kids won't let them do?
Amy
June 28, 2013 at 12:13 PM

I read a blog post this morning about a parent who lets her autistic child do things that she felt most parents of typical kids don't let their kids do.... things like: 

  • eating with their hands
  • running in the hallway
  • drinking coffee

So... are there things that you let your child do that most parents wouldn't let their (NT) kid do?

Replies

  • smarieljlee
    June 28, 2013 at 1:00 PM

    Much more tolerant of mood swings

    Retract no's on a regular basis when making hasty desicions without considering her needs

    Let her wander instead of sitting or standing still 


  • lady_katie
    June 28, 2013 at 4:06 PM

    I let my son watch TV shows at the dinner table every night, and at nap time, bed time and during diaper changes. He's allowed to have his very own ipad (upgraded from his own iphone which was too small), I still feed my son at least half of nearly every meal he eats, the rest he is allowed to eat with his fingers, or any way that gets it from the plate to his mouth. 

  • ineedcoffeemom
    June 28, 2013 at 4:43 PM

    I feed my daughter alot of her meals too, but only if they're not finger foods (which most of her foods are because she's pretty picky). I buy my daughter almost anything she picks out at a store and shows me because she's intiating an interaction with me. I don't let her have the object though if she just picks it up and walks away with it. 

    Mostly I find the question puzzling because I treat my daughter the way I feel she needs to be treated and I have no idea what person she'd be if were any different, so I have no idea how I would treat that other person. I guess I'd know more if I had another child.

  • lady-J-Rock
    June 28, 2013 at 4:50 PM
    Nothing really I'm a very laid back parent. They all have rules but very different needs and wants. One size fits all doesn't work. I cannot parent the kids the same. I have an eleven year old daughter, a three year old daughter and Xavier will be two next month.
    I let my oldest daughter invite Friends over for a pony princess birthday party. No it wasn't her birthday it was her pony's party. It wasn't a real pony either. I even baked a cake.She was 3 and very imaginative. My mil thinks my kids are way too spoiled and catered to.
    Right now my middle child is playing in a tub of flour she's baking something. She colored a picture with nail polish earlier today.
    I do praise Xavier way over the top when he uses a new word or skill. I praise my other two but it's not overkill.
    My kids are well behaved. They use manners. They don't act crazy in public. Xavier just stims a lot.
  • SnortysMom
    June 28, 2013 at 5:52 PM

    My DS is 6 and I'm still helping him wipe his bottom after he makes poo. That is actually something I'm going to work on his summer with him. He'll be entering 1st grade and he can't be asking people to wipe his bottom for him! lol


  • kajira
    by kajira
    June 28, 2013 at 6:03 PM

    I let my toddlers run a little wild. We work on manners as we go, but I don't try to turn them into little robots that shut up and sit down - though I expect better behavior in public than I do at home.

    I'm pretty laid back and mellow. As long as they don't burn my house down, break laws, or harm themselves , people, property or animals... I let them be. LOL

  • lady-J-Rock
    June 28, 2013 at 6:22 PM
    I find myself asking is it hurting you? No, is it hurting them? No. Then what's the big deal. Destruction of property falls under hurting others because it cost money to replace.being rude falls under hurtful. It's hurting your feelings.


    Quoting kajira:I let my toddlers run a little wild. We work on manners as we go, but I don't try to turn them into little robots that shut up and sit down - though I expect better behavior in public than I do at home.I'm pretty laid back and mellow. As long as they don't burn my house down, break laws, or harm themselves , people, property or animals... I let them be. LOL
  • Eve-marie
    June 28, 2013 at 6:23 PM

    Ian writes on the walls. I just get the steamer out every now and then and clean them off. After his bath he likes to chill out in the nude and play with himself a little. I leave him to it. He yells at me because he has no concept of acceptable speaking volume. I don't think it rude. He goes into a meltdown if he is too tired, and I tell him we're going home soon, instead of demanding he behave properly in public.

  • kajira
    by kajira
    June 28, 2013 at 7:27 PM
    I care about different things sometimes than NT parents. I'm autistic and the things that bug me in life are often different. For example, *I* don't transition activities easily, or quickly, so I have rules regarding giving me warning if they want to do something else than they are doing. (i.e. if they want to go outside, ask a few minutes before they go outside so I can finish up whatever I am doing and go outside with them, etc.) Patience is a huge part of what I try to teach my kids, and show by example - I also don't have the same "feeling" range other people do. I'm not easily butthurt, and I don't really care about some of the kind of stuff some people do. My rules have more to do with being a moral, ethical person. You don't lie. If you need to say "I'm fucking pissed off" to express yourself, that's fine - just know there's a "time and place" for it. (i.e. not in church, but in the kitchen in private is fine.) I'm not easily offended - I'm more about "time and place" for that kind of stuff - if it makes sense? The only thing that really hurts my feelings is deliberate acts of violence, or lying to my face. And, it hurts my feelings more because i'm really disappointed that my child would behave that way, and I try to teach him better manners than that, rather then it being a personal thing directed *at* me.... My rule of thumb for life, is being a good person is making the right decision when no one is looking. If you can do that, you're doing it right.
    Quoting lady-J-Rock:

    I find myself asking is it hurting you? No, is it hurting them? No. Then what's the big deal. Destruction of property falls under hurting others because it cost money to replace.being rude falls under hurtful. It's hurting your feelings.


    Quoting kajira:I let my toddlers run a little wild. We work on manners as we go, but I don't try to turn them into little robots that shut up and sit down - though I expect better behavior in public than I do at home.I'm pretty laid back and mellow. As long as they don't burn my house down, break laws, or harm themselves , people, property or animals... I let them be. LOL
  • darbyakeep45
    June 28, 2013 at 8:39 PM

    I don't know...I only have one child and he's special needs.  I just think about what's best for him, not what other people do with their kids.  

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