Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

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DJT721
How do you deal with stranger's ignorant comments
by DJT721
December 5, 2012 at 2:53 PM

I try to plan my errands to be short and have plenty of activities for my 2 year old to do so he doesn't become disruptive.  We went to a few stores and he was fine.  I really needed to get some things at the post office.  The line was about  6 or 7 people.  It was moving so we waiting.  The person in front of us was taking a long time up there and my son became antsy with some random crying and wanting to be held then he wanted to sit on the floor which was filthy so I wouldn't let him.  This ghetto piece of trash behind me said "Mine would have been slapped and in a corner by now" Of course I want to turn around and curse her the hell out because explaining to someone with that low mindset what autism is is probably a waste of my time.   Instead I just hang my head and feel like I want to cry.  My son doesn't stress me out, it is the ignorant comments from others.   This isn't the first time. At another post office the worker who is not a friendly person to begin with looked at me and said "oh God" once when my son was making these "Eek. eek, eek" sounds.   I told her "He is autistic".  She didn't respond at all, no apology, nothing.   In one way I figure people who are treating us like this are worthless anyway but then on the other hand, they need education at a time where 1 in 88 kids are autistic, surely it will hit their own family or friend's some day. 

Replies

  • Basherte
    December 7, 2012 at 1:16 PM

    I try not to let anyone else bother me. No one know what is going on in my life with my family and children than those that are involved. In the case you had, though. I would have said, I don't believe in physical punishment for a child when he is just getting a little antsy because of the long wait line. This is none of your business.

  • grace1973
    December 7, 2012 at 1:35 PM

    I used to try and calmly educate others, explain that my daughter is autistic, and what that means, etc.  Now, my daughter is almost a grown woman and she has taken to explaining what her condition is herself.  And she usually offers a snarky closer such as, 'I bet you miss the good old days when they used to lock people like me away forever, don't you?'  

    Let me tell ya, it makes my heart swell.  :) 

  • kenleespice
    December 7, 2012 at 2:20 PM

    a mom on here said she keeps copies of info about autism in her purse so if someone says anything she just smiles and gibe a them the info

  • Eve-marie
    December 7, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    I woulda said 'yeah? And that's why God gave him to me, and not to you. Then I would turn on my heel. Frostily. And carefully of course, lol


  • weirdkids
    December 7, 2012 at 6:12 PM

    3 things i dont leave home without when i take my 2yo anywhere with me is blanket, puzzles, and sippy. only way to avoid those situations for us. i dont take him with me very often but when i do those 3 things are detramental. it doenst always work but most of the time it at least makes the meltdowns minor. im still learning. 

  • mcclanto
    December 7, 2012 at 7:39 PM

    We have gotten lots of looks, but no comments that I'm aware of.  Some kids have laughed at him and I gave them my I'm going to kill you looks and they went away.  

    I am not embarrassed to take my DS out.  I try to prepare. By letting him take a toy and try not go out if he is tired, but sometimes meltdowns happen anyway.  We deal with it.  I will not do things like they did in the "good ol days" and keep him in a back bedroom and never take him in public.  

    If someone ever did make a comment while I was dealing with my son's behavior they would probably regret it.  I am a very calm and quiet person, but my Momma Bear instinct would take over!

  • kissingirl
    December 7, 2012 at 8:54 PM

    I was very happy to see you are going through the same thing I am in public.. I have a High Functioning Autistic daughter, who is 7 1/2.. some of the times in public she has meltdowns..they vary..People around me give strange looks.. every time I mention my daughter is autistic.. some uneducated person tells me she has kids too and understands.. I have to reply and ask her if her kids are autistic.. they are not obviously.  You seem to be the person I want to keep in touch with on here.. I would like to hear more of what you have experienced from ignorant people out there.  Very few really understand and they are the ones who tell me that either they work with autistic kids or know someone who does..I felt really better after reading your message especially after some ignorant person I came in contact with at McDonald's. 

  • treysmom222
    December 7, 2012 at 10:26 PM

    I have bought some sweatshirts that say google autism..and they seem to stop the comments..and if even 1 person who knows nothing about it googles it even better. I am never silent when a comment comes. I tell them my son is autistic and cant help his outbursts. Its a shame that as an adult you dont seem to be able to control yourself either. 

  • MommyRJ
    by MommyRJ
    December 7, 2012 at 10:31 PM
    It may not be a good response but I always have something rude back to say. I can ignore people's dirty looks or stares when Bryley is doing his sing songy mumbles in Walmart or something.. But rude comments burn me. Because I'd never say something to someone like that. I can get pretty fired up, pretty fast unfortunately.
  • JP-StrongForTwo
    December 7, 2012 at 10:46 PM

    I hear some random comments sometimes, i ignore those. but the worst was when ayla was 4, and  in the grocery store had climbed under the shelf (the larger ones where they keep the toilet paper and such) and had hidden in to a corner and was squatted down, and bouncing on her heels making 'her noise' which is kind of a meow, mixed with a bark. 

    So anyway, most people didnt even notice. but then while i was climbing under the shelf to get her so we could leave, someone walked by and said 'what did you DO to her?!?!?" in this outraged voice as if i was beating my child. 

    i came loaded for bear, and explained, in a loud, testy voice EXACTLY what was going on. she looked like she had swallowed her tongue, and then walked away. 


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