This would make me very mad if my DH was mad about this. This is a superior, right? You can't get away from this guy? You HAVE to talk to im? So talk to him! Your fiance is very insecure if he is letting the other gossip get to him instead of trusting you. He needs to get over it. I wouldn't change a thing. And I certainly wold NEVER have told the other guy what is going on. That just makes your fiance look insecure, like I said.
Tell him to get over it. If he is like this now and you almost broke up now because of this that doesnt bode well for the rest of yor life. There will alwys be good looking people, people who may even like you. Does he trust you or not??
Tell him to get over it.
by SMDH_76548July 5, 2013 at 3:03 PMThank you 98765, NDADanceMom, & deadlights.....No children to consider. The same exact thing happened at a previous location...... A light bulb just came on.... In both situations it was a a not-too-well-liked superior that he swears wants something from me, not just conversation. He's never wigged out like this over any other co-worker, not that I'm aware of. There are several males I talk to, sometimes all day laughing & joke, shove/tap in jest.....theres even a few that greet with a quick half hug or pat on the back..... SMDH
Well that is a total lack of trust. He's insecure and it's unattractive. At the same time I can see his discomfort. My DH has asked me to limit contact with only one person in our entire marriage and thats' because that person was after me. I never would have cheated but my DH really hated that this guy had any contact with me. I couldn't really blame him, if the situation were reversed I would have asked him to limit contact. So, is this insecurity or justified? Sounding like just insecurity so get thee to a good counselor and work on your issues before you have kids!
I would tell my husband that insecurity and jealousy are two qualities I do not find attractive.
If he trusts you, then that should be enough for him. He shouldn't care what others are saying. Instead of getting angry at you for what others are saying, he should be defending you.
At first, I didn't really see a problem with it. My DH was cheated on by the GF he had before me - they were together almost 5 years - and his confidence was shot. He was very insecure at the beginning of the relationship and I did my best to prove myself trustworthy to him (took the responsibility on my own accord, he didn't make me feel like I needed to). So with that in my background, what you said all rang true for me. But then I remembered this is someone you HAVE to speak with on a regular basis. Your DF can't control that. He's going to have to, at one point, decide to trust you or move on.
by AvonGalAnneJuly 6, 2013 at 12:16 PM
First, he needs to trust you and the relationship and secondly, he needs to stop listening to the other men (men are sometimes worse gossips than women...) The fact that he approached your superior with the situation shows he may be trying to control the situation (or perhaps be jealous?) ; which I don't think is right. This is your Superior and you can't NOT talk to him.
If this is how your fiance acting now; I can only imagine what it will be like when you are married. I lived it already with my first husband; he already had issues of jealousy and control; but once we got married, it became worse and never got better. Luckily, I found my second husband who is understanding and has become my best friend. If something comes up, he will ask me if he needs to step in and 99% of the time, there's no need for him to do so because he trusts me and the relationship.
Another option is try and transfer to another facility to get away from the situation. If you think that will help alleviate the situation; but may not alleviate your fiance's obvious distrust.
You are acting to friendly.....you may see no damage in this, but your fiance may...so. you need to cut it down just a bit, if you want to work on saving your relationship with your fiance.
Thank you 98765, NDADanceMom, & deadlights.....No children to consider. The same exact thing happened at a previous location...... A light bulb just came on.... In both situations it was a a not-too-well-liked superior that he swears wants something from me, not just conversation. He's never wigged out like this over any other co-worker, not that I'm aware of. There are several males I talk to, sometimes all day laughing & joke, shove/tap in jest.....theres even a few that greet with a quick half hug or pat on the back..... SMDH
In my personal opinion there are things you and your d/f both could improve upon, He with his insecurity and trust issues (have you ever given him a REAL reason to distrust you bc if so then you need to work extra hard to re earn his trust, if not then he may need counseling or such to figure out why he is having such a hard time trusting when unwarranted.)
And if I were you, I would keep my conversations and interactions with this person and any other man at work strictly professional, polite, civil, but wouldn't talk to them and add things to the conversation like they are personal friends of mine just out of respect to my d/f especially while he works on his trust issues.
I am sure a lot of people will disagree with me perhaps, but that is how "I" would handle it if in that situation.