Love & Marriage

va11ey.gir1
Fell out of love with my husband, in love with someone else.
March 27, 2013 at 5:49 PM

I've been with my husband for over 10 years, and married 8 in July.  Over the past 2 years, I've felt a disconnection with him.  Looking back, I don't believe I was ever in love with him and just settled.  Sex is about once a month, if anything, but even when we are intimate, I feel disgust, and I think he can tell, but doesn't say anything.  We have a semi open relationship, where he lets me have a girlfriend, or be with girls. We're both ok with this because they are girls, and he feels I will never leave him for another girl.  Those were his words exactly.  Anyways, I'm not really into girls as much as I need a man.  Long story short, I'm part of an online chat community and met a guy.  We talked as friends before, and he recently confessed his attraction towards me.  He said he would like to ask me out, but knows i'm married.  My reply was... ok, and?   It took him by surprise.  I talked to him how I've been unhappy with my husband, how he neglects me, how his friends come first, his band comes first, and how he's very selfish in many ways, and I feel more like his room mate than his actual wife.  We text and talk on the phone, and have met a few times.  This guy is WONDEFUL.  He's 12 years old than me, divorced, and such a gentleman.  He holds doors, lets me order first, treats me like a princess.  I've fallen in love with this guy, and I want to be with him.  Problem is, I'm scared to death on how to let my husband know that my love for him is non existent, what will happen to the kids, how will they react.  I'm just tired of feeling unwanted, not desireable, and this man gives me what I need.  help. :( 

Replies

  • ReadWriteLuv
    March 27, 2013 at 5:54 PM

    Wow. This is pretty skanky behavior. 

  • va11ey.gir1
    March 27, 2013 at 5:56 PM

    wow, excuse me?  i come here for support, not to be called names.

  • huntersmama711
    March 27, 2013 at 5:57 PM
    You should've thought of that before starting an emotional affair. Just come clean to your husband and go on from there. In the long run that's what's best for the kids.
  • va11ey.gir1
    March 27, 2013 at 6:01 PM

    i didn't want to think it was an affair, since there hasn't been any physical contact apart from a hug... but emotional affair seems just as bad. :(  I still love my husband, but its the same kind of love i have for friends, i care, but not in love. 

  • huntersmama711
    March 27, 2013 at 6:06 PM
    Do you want to save your marriage? If you do try marriage counseling and work on falling in love with him again.

    Quoting va11ey.gir1:

    i didn't want to think it was an affair, since there hasn't been any physical contact apart from a hug... but emotional affair seems just as bad. :(  I still love my husband, but its the same kind of love i have for friends, i care, but not in love. 

  • ReadWriteLuv
    March 27, 2013 at 6:09 PM

    6 of one, half a dozen of the other. Stop being skankalicious and tell him you want a divorce, otherwise you are just a liar and a cheater. 

    Quoting va11ey.gir1:

    wow, excuse me?  i come here for support, not to be called names.


  • LilliesValley
    March 27, 2013 at 6:11 PM
    Either man up, lol, and tell your dh and face the music and work on rebuilding your marriage or tell your dh you want a divorce. You've been with your dh for ten years and have kids with him, have a little decency and respect for him and yourself and come clean. Not much to be gained by putting it off.
  • furbabymum
    March 27, 2013 at 6:11 PM

     I'm sorry but you actually sound like the horrible one in this. Sleeping around on your DH and joining chat communities. You see nothing wrong with cheating. That's wrong.

    Also, easy for this guy to give you what you "need" when he's not living real life with you. Real life has a way of taking that romantic man and making him into....well your husband.

    If you aren't happy in your marriage than change it. Whether that be fixing your relationship or ending it. Just don't do this pansy ass behind the back shit like you are doing. It's disgusting. This guy isn't going to make you happy because you aren't happy. No one can make you happy. Go find a better person in yourself and start thinking about your kids rather than your oh so important feelings.

  • Mrs.Missi
    March 27, 2013 at 6:14 PM
    Shit or get off the pot. You need to decide if you want to stay married or not.If not grow a pair man up and tell him what you want. Good luck, op.
  • lillybug222
    March 27, 2013 at 6:19 PM
    You say you want a man who makes you feel wanted and desirable. Instead of nurturing the same types of behavior within your marriage that you would like to receive, you looked elsewhere. Imagine the connection you & your husband could build if you put the same amount of time, energy, effort & positive thoughts into your relationship with him as you do another man. I personally believe marriage is worth fighting for, but you & I have very different expectations of what marriage is and should be.

Love & Marriage