I saw this in The Stir - Can you agree?
Sigh. Sooooooo, can we just go ahead and put it out there that having a baby definitely puts a damper on your sex life? Between being pregnant for nine months, giving birth, and then trying to adjust to life with a newborn, getting back in the saddle again and resuming an active sex life usually isn't a huge priority for new moms.
And that's why it's not the least bit surprising to hear that most new mothers wait longer than six weeks to have sex after their baby arrives. (I said most moms. Jessica Simpson is an exception.)
Yeah, six weeks may be the guideline that most doctors go by as far as how long you have to wait to do the dirty after childbirth, but it's definitely way too soon for plenty of overwhelmed, exhausted, not-feeling-anything-remotely-close-to-sexy mamas. Or at least I know it was for me.
I distinctly remember sitting on the table in my OB-GYN's office at my six-week appointment and her telling me it was ok to have sex again -- to which I reacted by laughing in her face. (Oh, yes I did.)
Having sex was probably the furthest thing from my mind at that time -- to the point where I really can't understand how ANY new mom would rate having sex as being high up on her "to-do" list.
In fact, I can think of 25 things new moms would rather do than have sex.
- Sleep (duh).
- Shower (alone).
- Go to the bathroom without any interruptions.
- Get a massage.
- Get her hair done.
- Get a manicure and pedicure.
- Take 10 minutes to book appointments for numbers 4 through 6.
- Watch an episode of The Bachelor, Revenge, Grey's Anatomy, insert favorite TV show here -- without having to get up off the couch to tend to the baby.
- Take a bath. A lonnnnnggggg, hot bath.
- Read a magazine from cover-to-cover.
- Read one chapter in a book without falling asleep.
- Go to the grocery store alone.
- Go to the mall alone.
- Go to the movies alone.
- Go out to dinner alone.
- Go pretty much anywhere alone.
- Cook dinner and actually sit down and eat whatever it is she cooked.
- Do the dishes/load the dishwasher in the effort of waking up to a clean kitchen.
- Pick up clutter and clean the house so she can desperately hold on to the small bit of normalcy she has since the baby arrived.
- Call her mom, her best friend, or anyone who doesn't mind listening to incessant crying for no reason.
- Take a walk around the neighborhood.
- Work out (because losing the baby weight will help bring back her sex drive).
- Sit and stare at a blank wall for an hour or two.
- Relax on the couch with a couple glasses of wine.
- Check Facebook.
What would you rather do than have sex? And how long did you wait to have sex again after you had your baby?
by MamaReid92March 1, 2013 at 11:39 PM
Its not the same anymore, i actually asked my husband to help me because i had no clue to to do! lol being a first time mom you dont have the time to think about sex :(
by aj2011March 2, 2013 at 2:19 AMI actually wanted sex before my 6 week check up... but being that I was tired & still a bit tender we held off til' after 6 weeks and when I wasn't so sore lol
March 2, 2013 at 2:23 AMI wanted sex right away ! We started back on sex 3 weeks after the baby ! & I was still doing the did 2 days before my daughter was born !
by wulfeyes05March 2, 2013 at 2:24 AM
Yes, after both babies, I did
Well I had C-Sec both times so I was good to go "down there". I had some PPD with my first but still had sex after about 4 weeks.
With my second I couldn't wait! I was begging my DH after like 2 weeks but he refused. He wanted to wait till a month again.
by mommylove818March 2, 2013 at 5:19 PMWt my first we only waited 4weeks wt my second 3weeks and it was fantastic :)