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addiesmommy1109
Where is the spark?
February 21, 2013 at 8:05 AM
Dh and I have been together 6 years now, and married for 4(in may). We have a 3.5 year old and an 8.5 month old girls. We go through our ups and downs as I'm sure most relationships do but lately I just don't feel that "fire" between us at all. We had a heart to heart about 2 weeks ago about our relationship and my needs. Things were "okay" for a few days and then back down to the slump. How do you keep things alive? I'm just afraid were going to drift apart...

Replies

  • AlannaMaria
    February 21, 2013 at 8:09 AM
    You could cook candle lit dinners when the kids go to bed, plan date nights outside of the house, greet him at the door with something sexy on, watch a movie and cuddle on the couch, get some massage oils and give each other a massage, go for walks and hold hands.
  • addiesmommy1109
    February 21, 2013 at 8:12 AM
    My 3.5 year old has sleep issues so he is usually in bed before I am. We try to plan date nights once a month but it usually doesn't happen. My parents are our only sitters and they don't like taking both kids usually. We do the movie thing sometimes but usually after a little cuddling he's "uncomfortable" and has to move around...


    Quoting AlannaMaria:

    You could cook candle lit dinners when the kids go to bed, plan date nights outside of the house, greet him at the door with something sexy on, watch a movie and cuddle on the couch, get some massage oils and give each other a massage, go for walks and hold hands.

  • soontobemomof2k
    February 21, 2013 at 9:20 AM

    Honestly, this happens occasionally. I think everyone gets into slumps. My hubby and I dont get "date night" Our daughter has medical issues and we dont feel comfortable with other people watching her. Try to act like you did before you had kids.

  • ReadWriteLuv
    February 21, 2013 at 9:30 AM

    I am reading a book that is actually really good and breaks down relationships by phases and is very interesting, if not helpful. The title is kind of scary though it's I Love You But I'm Not  in Love With You. I was looking for a book on marriage that didn't come at me from a religious perspective, and this fit the bill. 

  • cherylam
    February 21, 2013 at 11:06 AM

    the first step is being aware there's a problem.  The second is to be an active participant in fixing it.  Go for a walk, even if it's just around the yard, after the kids are in bed.  there ae so many ways... think of how YOU want to be wooed, and turn the tables.  Woo HIM, by doing the little things you want him to do... I like showering by candlelight, and spraying a lavender fabric refresher on the sheets.  Little things mean a lot, especially for men.  I gave myhusband flowers for our anniversary, and he broke down and cried.  No one ever has givien him flowers, for any reason.

  • savannahmom2011
    February 21, 2013 at 11:17 AM
    I'm in the same rut there is no spark no more he wants sex it past a minute and its done its like he tries to get it over with as quickly as possible
  • AleaKat
    by AleaKat
    February 21, 2013 at 11:19 AM
    The Love Dare!
    It totally saved us in our slump!
  • Mom2wife1
    February 21, 2013 at 12:54 PM

    It sure is hard to keep the spark with 2 kids! My kiddos go to bed at 8 but are constantly up and down for hours so we don't know when we can have "alone" time. When we get to have a few nights in a row of "alone" makes us feel like our spark gets relit. It's just getting the monkeys in the other room to stay asleep! 

  • alexislovesjr
    February 21, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    I always complament him, express my appreciation for his hard work, praise him when he helps with kiddos, dress up (get up do my hair/ make-up and only wear sweats when exercising), Wear sexy things or nothing to bed, We go out just us at least once a week, We still cuddle and talk about our day, We make it a point to be intimate at least 3-4 times a week. He sends me flowers once in a while to my work, It helps our spark. These are just some of the thing we do to keep our spark after 6 years of marriage and 8 years together. Plus we are more intimate when im preggo, im expectin #3. We have 5 y/o and a 3 y/o boys.

  • beeky
    by beeky
    February 21, 2013 at 1:18 PM

    Shock the hell out of him!  Be flirtatious and unpredictable.

     

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