Love & Marriage

Ruffnekwife87
Have you ever asked him…
February 14, 2013 at 11:09 PM
If you got into a really bad fight one that many mean and hurtful things were said even to go as far as saying I don't know why I married you or such and such.... Or the thought of your marriage going down the pooper, Have you ever stopped to think back to the day you said I do and remember why you said I do or asked him?

Not that we were fighting but he was stressed (he has quit drinking and so far its not easy all he talks about is relapse) so I asked him... Lover.... The day we got married you looked into my eyes as I said my vows to you I noticed that you started crying. What were you thinking and feeling at that moment? He replied a while later and said more love and happiness than he can remember in a long time. So I asked him if he wanted that back and he said yes. So I told him then he has to be strong and fight the urge! It worked he didn't drink!!

Replies

  • shadow_lark
    February 14, 2013 at 11:11 PM
    No, but I should. It would make for good conversation
  • Ruffnekwife87
    February 14, 2013 at 11:26 PM
    Not to mention it put a spark up his butt to be sweeter, nicer, kinder and just more romantic!


    Quoting shadow_lark:

    No, but I should. It would make for good conversation

  • wintermermaid
    February 14, 2013 at 11:31 PM

    That's sweet and is a good thing to do to keep perspective in your marriage... 


    *but* I just want to say that all the love in the world won't necessarily keep an addict from using. When it comes down to it, when an addict uses it has nothing to do with you. It's not something they are doing to hurt you or because they don't love you, it's something they do because they are sick and have an addiction. I share this because although I am thrilled he didn't drink, I know the crushing feeling of when he does drink and wondering why *I* can't be enough, why our love, marriage, life, family isn't enough, why when he drinks it feels like a big F YOU ... because the reality is, it has nothing to do with me. It's a hard realization because I *wish* it did have something to do with me but it's really up to him to decide to not drink/use. I bet more than anything it was how you responded to him and the act of listening to him talk about wanting to drink and helping him walk through that urge in a supportive and loving way. 

  • shadow_lark
    February 14, 2013 at 11:45 PM
    Lol that too

    Quoting Ruffnekwife87:

    Not to mention it put a spark up his butt to be sweeter, nicer, kinder and just more romantic!




    Quoting shadow_lark:

    No, but I should. It would make for good conversation

  • AnGLInterrupted
    February 15, 2013 at 12:25 AM

    (hugs)  I wish you guys luck.  It's a long, hard road but with faith, love, and a lot of will power, it can be done.  :)

  • rmfanfgljf
    February 15, 2013 at 12:31 AM

    Me and my dh got into a pretty bad arguement before the new year, and in that arguement he had told me, "I am leaving you, do you get that, I am leaving right now!" I sat down and just cried, I told him that he can't take that back, what he said hurt like hell, he appologized, and we talked.......we both agree that when we said our vows there is no backing out over it, we both meant what we said, I have been through the bad and the great with him and I can't imagine doing it with anyone else........he has also struggled with his addictions, and the best thing you can do for him is exactly what you did, support him.

  • kris0921
    February 15, 2013 at 12:35 AM
    I have, and he has asked me. Its not just after a fight, but at anytime.
  • mrssummerlin
    February 15, 2013 at 12:39 AM
    We've asked each other before, but not due to fighting.
  • MixedCooke
    February 15, 2013 at 12:56 AM

    eh we got into a fight on our wedding night because some of his friends left without saying goodbye and he thought that I had them kicked out because one of them was excessively drinking and called one of my bridesmaids a B*Tch and nearly spilled his drink on my wedding dress!! As much as I wanted to and although my Mother did mention to that friend to ease up on the liquor, I did not have them removed.

  • Ruffnekwife87
    February 15, 2013 at 12:58 AM
    That would cause problems. I'm sorry that happened


    Quoting MixedCooke:

    eh we got into a fight on our wedding night because some of his friends left without saying goodbye and he thought that I had them kicked out because one of them was excessively drinking and called one of my bridesmaids a B*Tch and nearly spilled his drink on my wedding dress!! As much as I wanted to and although my Mother did mention to that friend to ease up on the liquor, I did not have them removed.


Love & Marriage