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How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?
February 4, 2013 at 3:46 PM

Married Couples Who Have Sex Less Than Once a Week Are in Trouble

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham on February 1, 2013 

sexEvery couple is different. It's something we are all told from the moment we start to consider marriage and babies, and the reality is, it's true. Every couple IS different. We have absolutely no way of knowing whether we are looking at a happy couple or a miserable one from the outside. The truth is, there are rarely any absolutes in life. But there might be in sex.

Married couples who have "sexless marriages" are, indeed, unhappier than those who have plenty of the between the sheets action. But just what constitutes a "sexless marriage"? I know for my husband, if we fall below once a week, he starts to get pissy.

It may sound bad, but it's true. There is a lot of door slamming and whining and "why aren't you paying attention to me?" But you know what? I'll take it. There are worse things that can happen.

Having known many couples over the years and having heard some of their intimate stories, I know that every couple has their magic number. Whether it's once a week or once a year, there is a bare minimum that is required to keep the magic alive.

Once you fall below that number, you start to feel less desirable, less attractive, and generally less. And that is NOT good for any marriage.

Having spoken off the record with a few friends on this subject, I am aware that once a week isn't the norm. But every couple has their "hmmm, why are we not being intimate?" moment. For me, I would start to get antsy around two weeks. I would start to feel neglected and like he didn't love me or find me attractive.

Once you reach that point, there is trouble. And if you go beyond that point? Look out. Sure, there are extenuating circumstances when people get sick or have a baby or travel for work, but in general, even in busy times, couples need to find their magic number and stick to it. If yours is one week like mine, you better find the time to get between the sheets even if it isn't what you want to do at that moment.

The person with the higher sex drive or who needs it more often is the one who wins in this case. Even if you don't feel like it, once you get started, it's usually true that sex is pretty fun.

So figure out your magic number and figure out your spouse's and then make your sex happen that often. Trust me. It will save your marriage.

How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?


  • catrig
    by catrig
    February 4, 2013 at 3:47 PM
    2 to 3 times a week is ideal.
  • me-n-mygirls
    February 4, 2013 at 3:51 PM
    at least every other day.
  • AleaKat
    by AleaKat
    February 4, 2013 at 3:52 PM
    Need? Never
    Want about once maybe twice a week.
  • CallxMexMama
    February 4, 2013 at 3:52 PM
    We have sex every day. Be it be once to 3 times. But it's every day.
  • KyrinM
    by KyrinM
    February 4, 2013 at 3:53 PM

    If we don't get to for more than 2 days, we start plotting.  LOL!  Seriously, I think the longest we have gone is 4 days, & we were miserable. 

  • mamabearlehman
    February 4, 2013 at 3:59 PM

     eh. not very often. we both have gained alot of weight over the past 10 years. When we were younger it was several times per day. Now a couple times per month is fine

  • redrose_12
    February 4, 2013 at 4:00 PM
    Ppl that have sex more then 5 times a week are likely to live longer and ave better relationships
  • xoxRachelxox
    February 4, 2013 at 4:00 PM

    We don't have a set amount of times that we have sex. When the mood is right, we have sex but I don't get concerned if we don't have it for a while.

  • momto3infl
    February 4, 2013 at 4:01 PM

     1-2x a month.

  • AleaKat
    by AleaKat
    February 4, 2013 at 4:02 PM
    It die of exhaustion lol
    Seriously? How do people do it every day?
    My DH leaves me sore for the next 48 hours afterward.

    Quoting redrose_12:

    Ppl that have sex more then 5 times a week are likely to live longer and ave better relationships

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