Every couple is different.
It's something we are all told from the moment we start to consider
marriage and babies, and the reality is, it's true. Every couple IS
different. We have absolutely no way of knowing whether we are looking
at a happy couple or a miserable one from the outside. The truth is,
there are rarely any absolutes in life. But there might be in sex.
Married couples who have "sexless marriages" are, indeed, unhappier than those who have plenty of the between the sheets action. But just what constitutes a "sexless marriage"? I know for my husband, if we fall below once a week, he starts to get pissy.
It may sound bad, but it's true. There is a lot of door slamming and
whining and "why aren't you paying attention to me?" But you know what?
I'll take it. There are worse things that can happen.
known many couples over the years and having heard some of their
intimate stories, I know that every couple has their magic number.
Whether it's once a week or once a year, there is a bare minimum that is
required to keep the magic alive.
Once you fall below that number, you start to feel less desirable,
less attractive, and generally less. And that is NOT good for any
Having spoken off the record with a few friends on this subject, I am
aware that once a week isn't the norm. But every couple has their
"hmmm, why are we not being intimate?" moment. For me, I would start to
get antsy around two weeks. I would start to feel neglected and like he
didn't love me or find me attractive.
Once you reach that point, there is trouble. And if you go beyond
that point? Look out. Sure, there are extenuating circumstances when
people get sick or have a baby or travel for work, but in general, even
in busy times, couples need to find their magic number and stick to it.
If yours is one week like mine, you better find the time to get between
the sheets even if it isn't what you want to do at that moment.
The person with the higher sex drive or who needs it more often is
the one who wins in this case. Even if you don't feel like it, once you
get started, it's usually true that sex is pretty fun.
So figure out your magic number and figure out your spouse's and then
make your sex happen that often. Trust me. It will save your marriage.
How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?