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DKk0531
our first fight as husband and wife *update*
by DKk0531
January 29, 2013 at 11:21 PM
Dh is a firefighter. Well today i found out at his new station he didnt put me as emergency contact, he put his mom. Yes this upsets me because i know her, if something were to happen to dh (God forbid) she wouldnt call me or tell me. I told him it upset me and he said he would change it. But im still mad and upset that he would put her instead of his wife. Am i wrong? In my eyes a spouse should be emergency contact not a mother or father after a wedding. When we werent married i didnt really care if he put her as emergency contact on anything. What do you ladies think about this? Am i being whiny and competely wrong?

Update* dh changed his emergency contact. He changed it to me primary, his mom secondary. He said he was just used to putting her on everything and he wasent thinking how important it is that he put someone that answers their phone from unknown numbers. He knows now that not just as his wife im a better choice but because his mom is a teacher and does not answer her phone or texts untill about 5 pm and works in a different town then where he works and it wouldnt be reasonable for her to be somewhere in a quick time limit. Thanks everyone for your advice

Replies

  • shaunaleigh418
    January 29, 2013 at 11:24 PM
    No... I'd be upset too. That's weird that he would put his mom.
  • Ilovemyboys0321
    January 29, 2013 at 11:25 PM
    I put my dad... I put who I know would answer a call from a random # & be able to respond.
  • polkaspots
    January 29, 2013 at 11:27 PM
    In an emergency would you be able to rush to him? I only ask because I don't drive so in an emergency situation, I would get called and then I would have to call someone else, most likely his parents. But you're right. It should be you.
    I put my dad as my emergency on my medical stuff because my husband always comes with me to the doctor.
  • C.Fleury
    January 29, 2013 at 11:29 PM
    I totally agree, I'd be hurt if my husband out someone other than myself
  • DKk0531
    by DKk0531
    January 29, 2013 at 11:30 PM
    How did your dh/so feel about that? See his mom is a teacher, she doesnt answer texts or calls untill 4 or 5 at night. Im a sahm, i answer all calls and all texts unless its from a 417 area code but thats not anywhere near us lol


    Quoting Ilovemyboys0321:

    I put my dad... I put who I know would answer a call from a random # & be able to respond.

  • Mrsfarr
    by Mrsfarr
    January 29, 2013 at 11:30 PM
    My husband uses his grandfather for the same reason.

    It doesn't bother me (nor should it in my mind) because we're usually together when we go anywhere and if I got the call, I know I would be too panicked to really do much of anything.


    Quoting Ilovemyboys0321:

    I put my dad... I put who I know would answer a call from a random # & be able to respond.

  • DKk0531
    by DKk0531
    January 29, 2013 at 11:33 PM
    Yes i would. I have my own car and i live maybe 15 mins from the station and about 2 mins from the closest hospital. His mom works about an hr from the station. She wouldnt be able to rush. I would.


    Quoting polkaspots:

    In an emergency would you be able to rush to him? I only ask because I don't drive so in an emergency situation, I would get called and then I would have to call someone else, most likely his parents. But you're right. It should be you.

    I put my dad as my emergency on my medical stuff because my husband always comes with me to the doctor.

  • Ilovemyboys0321
    January 29, 2013 at 11:40 PM
    He never questioned it. He knows I would pick someone that was the best choice. He has my dad listed as well.
    I feel like he most likely wasn't doing it to be mean. His mom prob has always been his ER contact & he didn't think anything of it


    Quoting DKk0531:

    How did your dh/so feel about that? See his mom is a teacher, she doesnt answer texts or calls untill 4 or 5 at night. Im a sahm, i answer all calls and all texts unless its from a 417 area code but thats not anywhere near us lol




    Quoting Ilovemyboys0321:

    I put my dad... I put who I know would answer a call from a random # & be able to respond.


  • AnGLInterrupted
    January 29, 2013 at 11:48 PM

    I think you have valid concerns..  but the best piece of advice I can give you is to PICK AND CHOOSE your battles.  If it's not worth a knock down, drag out..  possible end of marriage over..  then it's not worth fighting over.  KWIM?

    Good luck.

  • pittymama
    January 29, 2013 at 11:53 PM

    i'd be feeling hurt but when asked for ICE person i give 3. him, my dad AND mom. even if it doesn't ask for 3. i don't think anyone should only have one ICE person because anything could prevent ONE person from being there when needed.

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