Love & Marriage
This might be a little weird but oh well. I honestly dont think I have ever had an orgasm I try to I really do I try focusing in on it and I try to imagine things such as fantasies but it still doesnt work I have been faking orgasms for about a year and a half now with my husband and the man before him. Not only that but my husband tries to go on forever so that its more intense for him and so he can make me "climax" more than once and it seems to go on forever and by the time its over im just annoyed and when he does something I like he stops and moves on or he climaxs before i get into it. I dont know what to do I feel like somelthing is wrong with me.
Replies
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That's probably a HUGE part if it. When he does certain things to you it triggers something and brings you right back to when you were sexually abused and then you can't get that out of your head and it's over for you.. Have you ever gone to therapy for it? You probably never will be able to enjoy sex if you don't somehow let go of those feelings, it will haunt you and never allow you to enjoy pleasure.
Quoting sevensmommy:
Thanks that helps ive been trying to find toys that id like so we will see how that goes. Ive had some sexual abuse in the past and sometimes when we are in the moment thats all I can think of and I shutter and his touch so I think that could be part of it. -
Announce loudly "Don't you stop!"
Women are somehow trained to be quiet. VOCALIZE, girl! Direct him!
I can't get off without clitoral and vaginal stimulation. I take care of myself while we have sex. We throw toys in, too... ( lil hint : KY's Intense....TOTALLY worth the money !)
Can you cum alone? If you don't know, explore alone so you can yell those commands out!
And make yourself a promise: no more faking!
Some nights I've had to tell my husband " sorry, hon, it's just not gonna happen"
He survives. -
I was raped. My husband was told before we ever got to sex what never to do or say or I'd just leave him high and dry in the bedroom. The rules about ""my triggers" are very clear. They have never been breeched. Why? Because I know what they were and more importantly, I TOLD him so it wouldn't happen accidentally . I'm sorry and good luck
Quoting AlannaMaria:
That's probably a HUGE part if it. When he does certain things to you it triggers something and brings you right back to when you were sexually abused and then you can't get that out of your head and it's over for you.. Have you ever gone to therapy for it? You probably never will be able to enjoy sex if you don't somehow let go of those feelings, it will haunt you and never allow you to enjoy pleasure.
Quoting sevensmommy:
Thanks that helps ive been trying to find toys that id like so we will see how that goes. Ive had some sexual abuse in the past and sometimes when we are in the moment thats all I can think of and I shutter and his touch so I think that could be part of it.