So today I founf out I have HPV. DF and I have been together for 4 years. The past year and a half my paps have been coming back abnormal. Nurses always said it was mild nothing to worry about. When they called today she told me it was HPV. I am devestated !
So it has now come to this. How do I tell DF ? Does it go away in men like it does in women ? Just to clarify I have never cheated on DF, but I did have a very active sex life before we met.
I had been celibate for going on four years with all normal paps every year when I was told I had it.
It doesn't go away, the virus stays with you, you can pass it along. For all you know you got it from your DH and he from one of his former partners.
It is not a big deal, so long as you get a yearly pap and if you ever have to have cells removed know that it could affect your ability to carry a baby.
eta: I was lucky, in that DH had already contracted something from his ex during their marriage. So when it came time to divulge embarrassing and vital sex histories it was less painful, for us both. He has warts, they showed up during his previous marriage. She had had something removed while she was pregnant, but he said she had been hush hush about it and then when it came out that he had warts she swore it must have been him all this time. Who knows! I had been dating a guy and told him up front and when we broke up I told him I hope he remembered to tell all his next sex partners that he had been exposed...idiot acted like I had never told him. Anyway, it isn't a fun convo to have. I dont' evny DHs ex, as she has had multiple relationships since they split and hopefully she was responsible enough to tell them of her "exposure." Thankfully I only had to have the talk with two guys and I married one of them. I have never had warts or a questionable papsmear, and DH and I have never used condoms. Oh, and it is a skin to skin thing....condoms don't help if you let your privates touch skin to skin.
Thanks guys. I just feel so embarrassed. The kicker is this morning we went to apply for a marriage license and and it asked if you didnt have a std. I feel like shit and d9nt know how to go about this. Can't just bust out with I have an std so do you without him flipping out and accusations of me cheating.
i second progenitor. if there was something serious like that and i couldn't tell my DH, i wouldn't have married him. don't be embarassed, i know women that haven't had an active sex life and still have a strain of HPV. i would just sit your DF down and explain to him that you had ANOTHER abnormal pap and now they're concluding that it's HPV. i would think that he would be thankful that the abnormal pap didn't wind up being a more serious underlying issue like cancer.