Love & Marriage
Like I said in my post the other day, times are hard for us. I don't have a job and DH has a crappy job at Walmart. Well a job oppurtunity may be in the future but here's the clencher....we'd have to move to Texas. It's with a company my FIL works for, he is more than likely going to transfer-he also hasn't quite made up his mind. It will have great benefits and between $20-30 an hour. It's practically a guaranteed job on a silver platter for both DH and FIL. And the man who runs this company has a wife who runs another company so I would probably get a job handed to me. The company my MIL works for has a facility in Texas so she'd be able to transfer or if she wants, work for this man's wife.
I am torn. It'd be a great oppurtunity for DH to make a lot of money, me get a job, and we get on our feet. But that means me relocating from all I've ever known. All DH has is his parents. I'd be leaving behind my mom, my twin, my younger sister, my grandparents and my nieces and nephew. I would be leaving everything I've ever known behind and that makes me sad. I don't know if I can be away from my family. I know sometimes people have to do things they do not want to do and this looks like a great deal and all but I am so torn! My inlaws said it'll only be roughly an 8-9 hour drive from where we live and I can visit my family on weekends. But since I live on family land (both sisters, my mom and my grandparent are my neighbors) and I am so used to seeing them daily. I also don't want my DD to miss out on her maternal family. Gah! I don't know what to do. Me and DH discussed it lightly but it wasn't a good time so we decided to talk about it some more later.
Replies
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I'm in Texas, where in Texas is it? -
I'm not sure the name of the town. All i know is that it is near Dallas.
Quoting newstepmom61811:
I'm in Texas, where in Texas is it? -
You have two families, and while we tend to not really think or admit that we all do, you have the family you were raised in and the one you and hubby created, now is the time for you to consider that family, your mom and everyone will understand, I. Sure she made huge sacrifices for you and your siblings as a mother probably hard ones, this job offer means the difference of your family struggling or surviving and I know you'll miss everyone but with technology and cars communication doesn't have to stop, you can video chat with family and make trips maybe once a month to see everyone and I. Sure they wouldn't be hesitant to visit you, if you want you can do a thing where you send dd with her maternal grandma for summers, or her aunt if you don't think your mom can handle her, there are ways you can move on and start the life you hubby and dd need and still be dedicated to family. It sounds like a great offer with lots of opportunities and you guys would be better off financially.
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Personally, I'd go. Get yourself financially set and take trips back to visit family as often as you can. 9 hour drive isn't that bad. If it means a better oppertunity for your family, then that's where I would go. -
With the technology we have these days it's not that hard to see and reconnect with your family. You can video chat for free with Skype. This is not like its the 1800's. Also if you will be working for more money then you can travel back at any time that you wish. You would be foolish to put off having a stable and solid financial future because you're going to miss your parents and siblings. You have your own family to think of. -
You have to do what is best for your family. You are a grown up now. The toughest and best decisions aren't always the easy one. If it means a better life for YOUR family unit, the family unit you created, you have to do this. Do you want to have your kids grow up in poverty? Do you want to have to take government assistance? Think with your head, not your heart.
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You can Skype, email, Facebook, call text... It won't be exactly the same, but you have to do what's best for your family.9 -
I'd do it. Yeah you'd be away from mom and dad but think about how many other great things and great opportunities could come your way. -
I think you should go for it! It sounds like it would be a good move for your family. Take long weekends back to see your family. It's hard not having your parents around all the time(mine live at least 18 hours away) but if its good for your financial situation then it's worth it.
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I am sorry. We are going through something similar. We live on my S/O's family land. He is used to always been around them. We are only twenty minutes from my family. Jobs out here are hard to find so my SO took a job in California at the beginning of the year. The kids and I stayed behind until we can save enough to move us out there. It will be a few months. His first chance to visit home won't be until the end of next month.
It is really hard. I am struggling everyday to be happy. I know this is the right choice for us. It is a great job opportunity for him, it gets our family out the rut we are in. But it means us being seperated for a while. We (kids and I) talk and skype everyday with him but it's not the same. It will get better though.
You could always move back if ya'll decide it isn't for your family. But atleast then you know you tried right?