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Emotional affair final update
January 18, 2013 at 3:33 PM

I just wanted to thank those of you who offered their advice and support, we worked things out last night. For those of you that had nothing but negative things to say: IN YO FACE!!! You were wrong.

A few days ago, my husband asked me what an emotional affair was because it came up in conversation, I explained the best I could; I said it's when you connect on an emotional level with someone other than your spouse and it can lead to a physical affair.

1st edit
Deapite our conversation, he reestablished contact with an old friend that he had strong feelings for. Her name is Rachelle, she lives somewhere near Pittsburgh, and they met online before him and I met, but they never met in person.
She felt it was ok for her to date and tell him about her sexual exploits, but she got angry when he told her about our relationship and quit talking to him for a while.
Some time after she started talking to him again, I found an inappropriate conversation between them. She tried to influence him to break up with me when he was having doubts about our relationship. She got mad again when he told her we worked it out and stopped talking to him again until now.

2nd edit

He had a girlfriend for 8 years and she treated him pretty badly before cheating on him, dumping him, and getting with the guy she cheated on him with. He said this woman that he's talking to was the first person he cared about after the breakup. He was in one other brief relationship before we met and we took things slow, started as friends, neither one of us imagined that we would be married a year after we met and have a son and another baby on the way.


  • eoewan
    by eoewan
    January 18, 2013 at 3:42 PM

    Did you tell your dh where you stand on emotional cheating?

  • toybar02
    January 18, 2013 at 4:22 PM
    if it bothers you tell him how you feel, thats the only way to resolve things
  • Queen_Sheila
    January 18, 2013 at 4:34 PM
    I did tell him how I feel and he knows how I feel about the person he's talking to, that's why he didn't tell me he was talking to her again. I'll do an edit and give some background on it.

    Quoting toybar02:

    if it bothers you tell him how you feel, thats the only way to resolve things

  • supermomz25
    January 18, 2013 at 4:36 PM

    you have got to talk to him.

  • OHgirlinCA
    January 18, 2013 at 4:37 PM

     If you don't like it, tell him.  He should respect that, as he is your husband and your relationship should be the most important thing to him.

  • Amybelle
    January 18, 2013 at 4:38 PM

    Tell him if he's hiding it HE knows it's WRONG & ask him why  he's willing to do something he knows is wrong and jeopardises your relationship.

  • mrs.Martinez201
    January 18, 2013 at 4:39 PM
    honestly sounds like he doesn't really care how you feel. I'm sorry
  • Chelseadawn08
    January 18, 2013 at 4:45 PM
    I have been in this situation with my dh. He was "reconnecting" with an old sex buddy of his online and I found out and lost it after i read the content that was written. After several conversations and arguments he has stopped, we restablished our priorties. i also spoke with her, she wasnt happy but i felt thatbit was effective. But the paranoia is still there for me. I wish u the best
  • Queen_Sheila
    January 18, 2013 at 4:46 PM
    I think he doesn't understand more than he doesn't care because men don't think the same way that women do and don't understand that an emotional affair can hurt as bad as a physical one. I'm not saying he's having an emotional afair with her, but he does have a connection with her thay I feel threatened by.

    Quoting mrs.Martinez201:

    honestly sounds like he doesn't really care how you feel. I'm sorry

  • Chelseadawn08
    January 18, 2013 at 4:47 PM
    And it is cheating. Very much so

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