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KAmomma1113
How to feel....
January 18, 2013 at 9:17 AM
My husband just called me and asked if he could go out somewhere tonight. After asking questions like where and such, getting details I said sure go ahead because really what else can I say??

We have a 2 year old daughter and absolutely NO babysitter besides his mother and thats only if its absolutely necessary because shes always too inconvienced to stay home on a saturday to watch her so we could have time alone. So Im a SAHM and always cooped up in the house with her, not that I dont love being with my baby but momma needs a break too. Anyways hubby usually doesnt do anything at all either except go to work and come home and sit here with us since we rarely have money to do anything and then its always the 3 of us. We enjoy our family time but sometimes would like a minute to ourselves since we have so much family time together stuck in the house.

So Im upset hubby wants to go out tonight but obviously cant keep him chained here since someone has to watch our daughter and Im 6 months pregnant so its not like Im aching to go party ( not that, thats ever been my thing like his. His mother still goes to bars and such so he has that goin out bug but to me family is more important and there comes a time u need to grow up!) So is it wrong I feel upset Im stuck in the house again another day alone taking care of our child by myself with no one to talk to besides my 2 year old (I have no friends here, but would love some especially for my baby to play with) and nothing to do?? I just feel so alone. I have no family either. Maybe its pregnancy hormones. I dont know.

Replies

  • Titana
    by Titana
    January 18, 2013 at 9:50 AM
    I think I would be upset too. I'm not pregnant but I am ALWAYS home with my dd who is almost 6 months. I love family time and have never been a party person either but sometimes I just want some quality time without the baby. Even just an hour.
  • MayMommy07
    January 18, 2013 at 9:56 AM
    I think you have a right to feel bummed. I personally don't mind if my DH goes out...he usually goes thurs nights to a meeting (for a car club).To me I get my DD in bed and its me time...he needs his space and time to hang with friends. Maybe this weekend you can get a family day together! :)
  • MagicTemptation
    January 18, 2013 at 12:09 PM

    I wouldnt be upset with my S/O. He works alot, and I think he deserves time out to just be himself. He is more than a husband, father, and provider, he is an individual too so I encourage him to go out. I rarely do only because there isn't much I would want to go and do other than pick stuff up at craft stores. Tell him that is fine  he has a night out, but within a few nights you get a night out too. Why don't you go out and do things while he is at work? If you only have 1 car, drop him off and pick him up. Search meet up groups in your area, some decent price gyms offer free sitting while you workout, tan, etc.. If money is an issue, make a craft and sell it to earn spending money. 

  • xoxRachelxox
    January 18, 2013 at 12:28 PM

     I get why you're frustrated but your mom already raised you. If she wants to go out Saturday nights and still go to the bars, she has that right.

     Why not ask your dh to watch the baby while you just get out by yourself or with a friend. You don't have to drink or party, you could go to a movie or even to the library or a book store to sit and read in quiet for a while.

  • KAmomma1113
    January 18, 2013 at 1:51 PM
    Its his mother and she was barely ever around for my husband when he was a child because partying was more important to her even back then. So i get tired of hearing her sob stories of oh how she misses her only grandchild but doesnt try to make an effort to come to our house to see her or offer to watch her or spend time with her. Sorry very touchy subject there for me.

    I know my husband would watch our baby if I ever wanted to go out but we rarely ever have extra money and I feel guilty leaving. If I knew people where we lived Im sure itd be different but I just dont want to go out alone.


    Quoting xoxRachelxox:

     I get why you're frustrated but your mom already raised you. If she wants to go out Saturday nights and still go to the bars, she has that right.


     Why not ask your dh to watch the baby while you just get out by yourself or with a friend. You don't have to drink or party, you could go to a movie or even to the library or a book store to sit and read in quiet for a while.


  • KAmomma1113
    January 18, 2013 at 1:59 PM
    Thanks everyone for the replies. I think a part of me resents my husband for going out because thats what my ex did the 10 years we were together and so its just easy for me to feel hurt. Deep down I really dont care hes getting out. I know he needs his space and majority of the time is around for me and baby when hes not at work. I guess I just needed somewhere to vent so thanks for listening guys :)
  • LovingMy2x4
    January 18, 2013 at 2:18 PM

    You should look into Mommy & Me groups in your area. The local library probably has some cheap or even free programs. 

  • AlannaMaria
    January 18, 2013 at 3:01 PM
    I think all SAHM feel like your feeling when you have no family or friends around.. We moved 16-18hrs from all friends and family, 2 weeks after my DS( baby #2) was born. It hasn't been easy.. I get super lonley too and sick of cartoons and kids toys all day lol. If I was you I would try and find things to get involved in. Where are you from? You make a post in a couple groups you're in to see if there is any other ladies that live near you. I met my best friend 2 1/2 years ago on cafemom and she happen to live less then 10 min away! We both we SAHM's with 2 children and very lonley. If I hadn't met her I would have lost it :( I also joined the gym, they have childcare there, so my son comes with me. It's great because he gets to interact with other children and I get to interact with other moms and adults.. Adult conversations!!! I just knew I had to find somewhat of balance because its depressing talking to nobody all day and never catching a brake.

    If I was you I would take tomorrow and go do something on your own. Enjoy an hour or two in the afternoon and do anything to get you out of the house and get a break from your daughter. Hang in there..
  • Apple1
    by Apple1
    January 18, 2013 at 5:19 PM

     

    I'm a SAHM too.  I also help my son medically and also homeschool.  I get the lonely feeling, I too get this way.  We just moved into a new house closer to my husband's work and I'm hoping soon to join a gym.  It helps to get out and do something you enjoy doing.  I was thinking about writing a post sort of like yours today because my husband is going to start working on one of his days off, making it only 1 we will have a week together, as well as working overtime on some nights.  On the one day we have off, we usually see our parents and have a meal, but I"m getting tired of the same old, same old....I know I should be thankful for what I have, but I feel like the house is all I know sometimes, and long for more relaxing alone time with hubby.  Sending you hugs, definitely go out soon and do something you enjoy!!

  • MomToovey
    January 18, 2013 at 10:35 PM

     I do understand. My best friend lives 3,000 miles away, and all my friends here don't have kids and therefore don't keep schedules similar to mine. It's hard to find people to go out with - not even to party, just for like a nice dinner or something. And my DH's best friend lives half an hour away. They get together at least once a month, if not more. Sometimes I do feel a bit jealous that he gets to go out and just be "him" for a bit - without any other titles (husband/father/etc) attached.

    But my husband is also amazing and usually at least once a month or so, he'll take DD out for a few hours for a daddy/daughter day and I get the time to myself. Admittedly, most of the time I just stay home and watch movies or something, but sometimes I go shopping, get my hair and/or nails done, or even just running errands without DD feels like a treat sometimes!

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