This hasnt applied to us in a few years, but when were were younger and first starting out, hell yeah it did.
We met at 19 and were married at 19. There was still quite a bit of growing up and growing together that needed to be done.
OK so onto the curfew.
I have always had 100% trust in dh, he has never given me a reason not to (still hasnt 7 years later). So when he would go out with his "boys" a few nights a week I didnt care where he was or who he was with. I just had 1 rule. Be respectful of your wife and new mother and come home at a decent hour. No more partying all night and walking in the door at 9am the next day still drunk from the night before.
My curfew was 12
or 1am on a weekday and no later then 3am on a weekend. And dh - even
though he messed up once or twice - for the most part respected this.
After we grew up a little and grew together, the friends and "chilling"
in the streets and getting drunk lost their appeal for him. Now 7 years
later dh wouldnt dare come home after 10pm unless he was working a late
job. Is just something that you dont do. He has a family and coming home
late is just disrespectful. Plus we are married, we dont go out as
single people any more. We never really did in the first place. He only
started after we had the baby, I needed to be home. Now that the "baby"
is 5, we are back to being partners in crime together, but not just us,
as a family.
So one of my newly married girlfriends is having a similar problem with her new dh. They do not have kids yet, but they have been married for about a year. She said it was fine in the beginning but no matter how much she bitches he still wont come home at a decent hour. Mind you they are our age now - late 20's. I told her that I gave my dh a curfew when we first got married and had the baby. (Before our ds, Dh never went any where with out me, if he was out partying all night i was right along side him. We were partners in crime, until I had ds, then I was home and dh took a little time to get out of his chilling phase.) And it worked for us. She looked at me like I was nuts. And said she could never put rules on her husband like that.
I think 1am on a week day/3am on a weekend is reasonable and hardly asking too much of a husband. (yes yes, you shouldnt have to do this if they are your dh they should already know and respect, blah blah blah.. All men, especially when your married young need a bit of training. You grow together as a couple - so all of "you" can shove it - "you" know who "you" are)
Have you ever? or Would you ever put a curfew on your dh if he was one to stay out late?
by tiredmama42January 17, 2013 at 2:54 PM
I have never heard of a curfew for a husband but I guess its a good idea to know when to start looking for him.. just in case. I have never had to deal with that issue. We go out together usually.
by AlannaMariaJanuary 17, 2013 at 3:08 PMI've never put a curfew on my DH. He rarely goes out, but if he does he's home by 3am and he doesn't go out during the week. We usually go out together anyways. Once every couple of months my friend and I will have a girls night or afternoon. He will do the same.
January 17, 2013 at 5:03 PM
At certain times I would but not on a regular basis. If I had to get up to work or do smething important the next day I ask him to be home at a certain time. I wuld do the same for him if he needed me home. we have two small children and going out all the time and staying out late just isnt an option for us right now. but if he told me to be home at a certain time FOR NO REASON just for me to be home then i would not be impressed so i dont do the same to him.
It's kind of a hard concept for me to wrap my mind around. My DH and I don't really go out, period, let alone without each other. And we've never been much for staying out late. So with my personal background, a curfew seems to be a bit on the controlling end, but I suppose I can see where it would be necessary. And really, all that matters is whether or not it works for the couple. Everybody is different, and what works for one couple may not work for another. If she's willing to give it a shot and it works, great. If she tries it and it doesn't, well it's back to the drawing board. And if she chooses not to try it at all, that's fine too. It's her perogative and her husband :)
by catrigJanuary 18, 2013 at 6:49 PM
No. We don't do curfews. I am a night owl. I don't go out often, but when I do it's typically pretty late.