Love & Marriage

expectnanother
ddh has a chick friend...advice???
January 2, 2013 at 2:26 AM

a little history on the whole thing....he talked to her before we we're together only on the phone though an met her four times in person... when we got together (I was 16 he was 19) an I found out about her I didn't like it. let's face it when your a teenager every female is a threat to you. any who we got In a argument about it an he said he would never talk to her again... four yrs later all of a sudden she texts him out the blue an they start chatting it up. he doesn't keep it a secret from me that they are texting back an fourth an I wasn't ok with it but I was dealing with it because I don't think he would cheat on me or anything like  that. well he in invites her to stay a weekend withwith us without asking me first. I've oonly met the girl once (before me an dh started dating) an  I thought we were going there for dh an the girl to meet up am have a date.. so it was a lititle awkward because I felt like the third wheel  but they were just friends. me personally I find it awkward an weird for him to be trying to rekindle thAt friendship when he said he would never talk to her again. and also he has no male friends what so ever. when We started getting our lives together all his friends disappeared be cause he wasn't supporting there bad habits any more to say the least an he hasn't made anymore friends since then.I guess I just need other female advice on how to handle this or what to do.... I don't trust any  female except my bestie. all the stories I've read on here make me very weary of females..... let me know how you would handle this and what you would dodo.thanks in advance.

Replies

  • jamamama00
    January 2, 2013 at 4:42 PM

    Call her and tell her that you are not comfortable with your husband having female friends and tell her to quit contacting him.

  • expectnanother
    January 2, 2013 at 4:49 PM

    i got her number from him about an hour ago an texted her... i asked how she was td her who i was an let her know i was th wife. havent heard back from her though


    Quoting jamamama00:

    Call her and tell her that you are not comfortable with your husband having female friends and tell her to quit contacting him.


  • BUFFIE.the.BODY
    January 2, 2013 at 11:19 PM
    This EXACTLY

    Quoting danichaos:

    Dont trust any female, even your bestie
  • Lindalou907
    January 3, 2013 at 5:43 AM

    Be confident and friendly.

  • hollydaze1974
    January 3, 2013 at 5:59 AM
    Idk? He invited you along, doesn't read like he's hidden her from you and PLENTY of ppl say I never talk to that bitch/ asshole again only to grow up and let bygones be bygones.
    My hisband's former step daughtet found him on facebook. He asked me if je could msg her back. I said as long as she does not relay information to her mother ( as i have heard many a story...)but it would be pretty petty of me to not allow him contact with a child he helped raise for six years as she is in college now and just wanted to say " hi, you were my favorite stepdad ( yeah, that's messed up)

    I guess i don't see a problem as long as he keeps things clean with you.....and you'll know if he isn't.

    As far as the sad, sad disheartening stories you see here? Denial played a role, as did refusal to see red flags.
    Maybe you are the opposite... Seeing a yellow flag thinking it's red. Keep it teal with DH and i bet she goes away again... ( and you've heard of friendly little threats uh i mean chats between women while washing their hands, riiight?)
  • RoxeyMama
    January 3, 2013 at 8:44 AM
    Yes I would have problems on her staying at my house. But I trust my husband so if he wanted to be friends with a girl whatever. My husband is a little feminin and has trouble making guy friends. But these days a guy can cheat on you with either.
  • baileymarie723
    January 3, 2013 at 11:55 AM
    I would flip! I would trust DH, but other females I have a hard time trusting because some can be very manipulative, and know how to make things go in their favor. I might be a little concerned that your DH didn't keep his word about not talking to her again, but maybe he doesn't know how to do it in a way that wouldn't sound mean.
  • samanthabecker
    January 3, 2013 at 1:08 PM
    I would start texting her. If she wants to be friends with your husband she has to be friends with you too. Do not give them any time alone. Something just comes off as strange to me. Does she know that you guys are married? If not she needs to know ASAP. I quit talking to one of my guy friends 6 years or so ago and we recently reconnected because I contacted him. But he also knows that I am married and he respects that.
  • expectnanother
    January 3, 2013 at 1:15 PM

    yea she knows we are married.I've text her yesterday and last night and still no reply.i agree that if she wants to be friends with dh then she's going to have to be my friend to...it's not like they were great friend s they just talked on the phone.i brought it up last night and he was like i just want a friend i can talk to..(he ha no friends) and i asked she has been out of the picture for so long why does she have to be the friend you want why can't you get a guy friend

    Quoting samanthabecker:

    I would start texting her. If she wants to be friends with your husband she has to be friends with you too. Do not give them any time alone. Something just comes off as strange to me. Does she know that you guys are married? If not she needs to know ASAP. I quit talking to one of my guy friends 6 years or so ago and we recently reconnected because I contacted him. But he also knows that I am married and he respects that.


  • expectnanother
    January 3, 2013 at 1:17 PM

    our make a new chick friend we can get to know together

    Quoting expectnanother:

    yea she knows we are married.I've text her yesterday and last night and still no reply.i agree that if she wants to be friends with dh then she's going to have to be my friend to...it's not like they were great friend s they just talked on the phone.i brought it up last night and he was like i just want a friend i can talk to..(he ha no friends) and i asked she has been out of the picture for so long why does she have to be the friend you want why can't you get a guy friend

    Quoting samanthabecker:

    I would start texting her. If she wants to be friends with your husband she has to be friends with you too. Do not give them any time alone. Something just comes off as strange to me. Does she know that you guys are married? If not she needs to know ASAP. I quit talking to one of my guy friends 6 years or so ago and we recently reconnected because I contacted him. But he also knows that I am married and he respects that.



Love & Marriage