Love & Marriage

shaharv
HELP!!! Stuck in a dilemma
by shaharv
December 30, 2012 at 9:06 PM

I really need some advice. My husband just recently took a job out of town in his hometown making more money than where we are living now. We had originally decided that he would only go there to work for 6 months and then return home to us.  Now things might be changing to where we might move to where he is instead but that will still have to wait until the summer when the kids get out of school. The problem is my mom. I know she is going to have a fit when she finds out that we might move. When we were going to move there a few years ago she went ballistic saying she was going to take us to court to try and get custody of our kids because we were taking them away from her. I was speechless. We didn't end up moving for other reasons but now I'm terrified to tell her anything, not even that we are thinking about it.  It's not a definite decision yet but it is a strong possibility. I want to start over again with my family and I think this is the perfect opportunity to. How do I tell my mom without her flipping out and making me feel guilty for leaving?

Replies

  • lucky2Beeme
    December 30, 2012 at 9:08 PM

    You wait until the very last minute. you and your husband have to do what is best for you and him and your children. I am sure your mother didnt live her life for her parents.

  • ambermario4ever
    December 30, 2012 at 9:11 PM

    Don't let her make you feel guilty. It is your life not hers. And she has no rights to your kids. My mom s always trying to make me feel guilty. But I just ignore her and the mean stupid things she says. 

  • TommyAbby
    December 30, 2012 at 9:28 PM

    Just tell her. You are a grown woman with a family. She can come visit.. Why is she so attached to you? Is there no other family around?

    FYI: She can't just take the kids because you are moving to make a better life for them. They would laugh her out of court. 


  • ReadWriteLuv
    December 30, 2012 at 9:29 PM

    Why do you still let your Mother have so much control over your life? You are an adult I assume?

  • pittymama
    December 30, 2012 at 9:37 PM

    why are your comments always the ones i'm quoting!? queen cafemom. ;)

    and i agree with this. my mom is there for me and would joke around about us leaving with their only grandbaby but i'm not sure i would be okay with her threatening court.. when she isn't... the... child's mother

    Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

    Why do you still let your Mother have so much control over your life? You are an adult I assume?


  • kjbennett26
    December 30, 2012 at 9:39 PM
    Its your life not hers! After that kind of bullshit spewed from her mouth I would move and then tell her
  • JohnsonMM
    December 30, 2012 at 9:44 PM
    Most States do not have grandparent rights. And if they do they will not take children away from parents without repeated proof of neglect or abuse. Try not to worry. Its a mothers instinct to keep children close but you need to do what's best for your family and its future, not hers.
  • Decker
    by Decker
    December 30, 2012 at 9:46 PM

    Dont tell her till a few days before you are moving.

  • MagicTemptation
    December 30, 2012 at 11:05 PM
    We had the same issue with my SOs mother. She freaked when he moved a few years ago. He was in the military at the time so had to move for Orders. We moved back to his hometown after his service time was up. We are moving a few States away come the summertime. We wont tell her tip a week before.

    Legally a grandparent cant get custody without proof of serious abuse or neglect. So don't worry about that.
  • Nynnie
    by Nynnie
    December 30, 2012 at 11:11 PM
    Well, ur grown now and have to do what's best for ur family and ur mom's just gonna have to deal with it. Let her know u love her and don't want to leave her but u have to think bout ya'll now. Tell her u'll visit her often, but that it's ur decision and u don't need it, but u'd really like to have her support

Love & Marriage