Love & Marriage
I especially want to hear from you ladies who work ft stressful jobs, have kids, and the not so perfect relationship.
Replies
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Well, I don't work (SAHM instead) but I do have kids and my husband and I have a much better relationship now however it was on the rocks for quite some time. My friend and I live in the same building and our kids are all best friends so when one or both of us needs to destress we do a playdate so the kids can play together and we can have some time to get in an adult conversation. We've also started up a girls night once a month. Although we're thinking of doing two a month. One where we invite a bunch of girls (there's one or two ladies that we feel guilty not inviting because we're not that close to them but they say we're their best friends for some reason) and then another later for just us and like one or two others. A smaller girls night. :-) And then my friend and I go to zumba at the gym on Wednesday evenings after our husbands get home to watch the kiddos. And if one of us needs to run out and grab something or are just getting out of the house after our dh gets home we'll usually see if the other wants to come along to get some kid-free time. It's great because we spend the whole time laughing so we're ready to go back in and face the cranky kids afterwards (I'm writing this after having a couple EXTREMELY cranky children all day-lol!)
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Well, I don't really fit your criteria, but I think that's because I do try to destress well and often. There's no reason to take my stress back into my relationship or job.
I take 'sensory breaks'. When I am in a stressful situation and cannot leave it, I take deep breaths.
At home, I give myself (at least) 10 minutes of brain and body peace and quiet while I have a cup of herbal tea.
I do yoga, even if it's just a 5 minute stretch.
I read.
In the summer, I garden or mow the lawn, trim the trees, go to the lake. I really feel my best when my bare feet are planted firmly to the earth and I am surrounded by nature.
Other times, I have a bath. Water soothes me.
I online window shop (and occasionally buy things.)
Basically, it's about taking the moments to myself, not necessarily great chunks of time. By looking at me time as moments, I get more of it, rather than waiting for that hour a day to go somewhere and whatnot.
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I go walking for 3 miles a day...my son is old enough to walk with me or he sits somewhere and does him homework or plays one of his games and when I'm done; he says somthing like, "Mom, your a cool mom...all my friends mom's don't walk and you don't yell..like they do..." or "Mom, you feel better now..cuz you were walking really fast...talking to yourself..." LMAO!! My son knows me, so well..and ye's only 7. -
My easiest go to tool. take a couple minutes to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. -
Bake a TON of cookies, then drink a cup of tea brewed from loose leaf tea that was a gift from a friend who is store manager of a tea store (my DREAM job lol), and eat cookies. Lots of cookies. I used to take a hot bath, but that takes too much time- I can do research for homework while I am drinking tea; research relaxes me too :)
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I work out 5-6 days a week! If I didn't I would LOOSE my mind, it keeps me sane :) -
I walk about thirty minutes every day and, I play "Your Shape" on my Xbox, it kills two birds with one stone, I get my exercise and, I get to destress.
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I go get my hair shampooed. If you find someone who's good at it, oh man, the stress will just disappear. -
I agree that I don't fit your criteria. I'm a SAHM, only have 1 kid, and my relationship with DH has never been less than "great", but is usually even better than that.
But I do have things that stress me out. I'm a part time event planner and usually have 3-4 big events (as in, involving over 300 people) among other things. The easiest way for me to de-stress is
1) pray about it
2) talk to DH, family & friends about it
3) take a step back and try to evaluate the situation from the outside looking in
4) eat lots of comfort food :)
5) cry - it really helps me get all that negativity out of my body and move on -
I don't get to destress. :( Thankfully I handle stress fairly good and don't really get stressed.