Love & Marriage
Hi everyone, I am looking for some sage advice from those who have high energy high emotion significant others. I met my BF about a year ago, he is 15 yrs older than me ( don't judge it works!). I came out of a small disaster of a marriage but afterwards met someone that I find perfect in every way except the emotional (bumps). He has a tuning fork when it comes to what I need or want. The problem as I see it, he a highly emotional person with that comes the great highs fantastic normal times but unhinged lows. If we have a disagreement it seems to get way way overblown doesn't last long but hurts me. I've learned he says things that almost don't make sense and he doesn't even mean. Do any of you have similar husband/boyfriends. How do I blow that crap off?
Replies
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How about having him see his Dr about it? Maybe he's bi polar. He could also try counseling. Best of luck hun!! -
No it's not that awful. His moods do not swing and are disagreements are very infrequent.
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my husband will do that and confuse the crap out me and then we just talk about it for a min and let it go because I know he really didn't mean it.
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plus most the time he just needs to sleep or needs to be competitive some how. He might need more exercise
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My husband is like that. He is not bi-polar (he's been checked for it), he's just a fiery kind of guy. when he's in a good mood (which is most of the time) he's wonderful, amazing, hilarious, deeply caring and loving. But, once he's upset (even about something as mundane as the shower head not being turned to the direction he prefers) he can fly off the handle with no warning. I've found the best thing for me to do is to ignore him. Let him go off, but not dignify his anger with a reaction...kinda like when a kid bumps their head and if you look at them they cry. I sometimes take myself and dd into a different room, and we play and have fun together while dh sulks. Eventually he calms down and always vehemently apologizes for getting so out of hand. Its what works for us. Him being THAT angry is his own doing, and its not my responsibility to calm him down or deal with how outrageous he is. The minute he starts to yell at me about something rediculous..well, its not a nice comparison but its true...just like when a dog is trying to intimidate you, just look his right in the eyes. That's what I do, make eye contact but don't respond, and if he keeps going I just walk away. He always comes around and apologizes. However, if he EVER yells at our DD like that, I will give him a reason to get so angry. I'll kick his ass out! -
Maybe he should try anger management to learn how to control his emotions. Has he ever been checked by a doctor or therapist to see if he has any mental illnesses? -
Well My DH has had emotional highs and lows but he's bipolar. Medicated and in therapy he is a normal guy.
At the very least he should be in counseling to find out why he becomes unhinged at you.
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I have no advice on this wish I could give you some good advice but honestly I can't. -
Quoting lauraruth222:
My husband is like that. He is not bi-polar (he's been checked for it), he's just a fiery kind of guy. when he's in a good mood (which is most of the time) he's wonderful, amazing, hilarious, deeply caring and loving. But, once he's upset (even about something as mundane as the shower head not being turned to the direction he prefers) he can fly off the handle with no warning. I've found the best thing for me to do is to ignore him. Let him go off, but not dignify his anger with a reaction...kinda like when a kid bumps their head and if you look at them they cry. I sometimes take myself and dd into a different room, and we play and have fun together while dh sulks. Eventually he calms down and always vehemently apologizes for getting so out of hand. Its what works for us. Him being THAT angry is his own doing, and its not my responsibility to calm him down or deal with how outrageous he is. The minute he starts to yell at me about something rediculous..well, its not a nice comparison but its true...just like when a dog is trying to intimidate you, just look his right in the eyes. That's what I do, make eye contact but don't respond, and if he keeps going I just walk away. He always comes around and apologizes. However, if he EVER yells at our DD like that, I will give him a reason to get so angry. I'll kick his ass out! -
THANK YOU so much that sounds just like him!!