Soooo... My husband thinks I'm fat and unhealthy...

[TwinsPlusOne4Me]

So my friend is losing weight, my hubby saw a picture of her and commented on her amazing results. I said yea she's lost 50 lbs by drinking shakes and starving herself 2 days a week to the tune of $300/ mo. Before i can practically finish my sentance he exclaims "YOU SHOULD DO THAT... Why dont you do that?" my chin could have hit the floor. What do you say to that? He clarified himself saying he is worried about my "health". And continued lecturing me that as we age ( i just turned 40) it gets harder and harder to keep weight off, extra weight is bad for your heart yada yada...This issue is not new for us, he has periodically throughout our marriage (after kids) let me know his dispproval with my size. Before kids I had a great body now I'm a size 12, mushy in the middle and realistically could stand to lose 25 lbs. I'm very large chested which doesn't help matters. Before I started up my post-kids career I had the time to go to the gym regularly and loved working out, but even then, that wasnt good enough for him. Now i cant find the time, motivation or partner to workout with regularly --otherwise i totally would. I do walk 4-6 miles one day a week with a friend but that's not regular enough for him. I feel he is a hypocrite, because he smokes and has athdma It seems to me he is diguising his distaste for the way I look as concern. I doubt anything will help us come to a resolution. We clearly have fundamental differences regarding the importance of outward appereance. Anyone else dealing with this in their marriage? How do you handle it?
Thanks for letting me vent.

[truelove157]

What an ass!!!!!! :(

Quoting soda91:

I know how you feel. After my daughter I gained a lot of weight. I've never been tiny, but I was where I wanted to be after I had my son. My boyfriend always calls me a fat@$$ and says we lose so much money because he's always feeding my fat@$$. Its very hurtful, and I've lost all self esteem. He says for me to go to the gym, but its hard when I have a 2 yr old, and a 6 month old who are on 2 opposite schedules to where I only get 3-4 hrs a sleep every night. So I am too exhausted, plus I make his breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Iron his clothes for work, and make sure I have all his stuff ready. You do what makes you happy, and always remember you're beautiful to you no matter who sees it

[sm1204]

I had the same problem with my dh. I found texts in his phone of him telling his friends how i wasn't fat when he married me and he's " tired if f***ing that fat b***h all the time."... so being that i was unhappy with myself as well and had no time for the gym i bought one of the workout programs by beachbody and I'm doing it at home, doesn't take much time but I've lost 17" off my body and I'm 3 weeks in..... and i feel soooooooo much better about myself

[2lilmamas]

He needs to be supportive not be insensitve about it.

[1stTimeMom1982]

I lost weight and got healthy for me not my hubby. If you decide to make a change do it for you and do something that you want to do. Not something that your husband wants you to do. You will only still with a program whether diet or workout if it is something that you want to do. Feel free to check out my fitness page I have on FB. I can't post the link but it's called FitMama's Fit Journey

[Redwall]

Sounds to me like you're both unhealthy.  Maybe you could become "partner" in a more healthy lifestyle?

 

[lageise]

He has NOTHING to complain about.  He is a hypocrite.  You can get a size 12 in the women's section, it's hardly a plus size.  I wasn't even a size 12 when I met my husband (I'm bigger now) I do have to shop in the plus size section and my husband NEVER complains about my weight.  If I say something about it he just tells me if I'm not happy about my weight I should try and change it.  He never says yeah, you're fat loose weight.  Tell him you'll loose weight when he quits smoking.  Not only is it bad for your health, but cigarettes are outrageously expensive.