Would you rather have SO tell you they're done with the relationship now (right before the Holidays) or wait until after the new year, knowing that something is up but not exactly sure what that entails.
What about the other way around? If you were the one breaking up would you rather do it now and get it over with, or keep avoiding it and hope that the Holidays would be better not doing it?
I'm a fan of being honest - no matter what the situation is or the holiday that is happening. I don't connect bad situations with holidays and let it affect how I celebrate.
If the breakup is inevitable, then avoiding it doesn't make it go away, nor does it make things easier.
For me - it would be easier to have that convo between the adults now, so we know what is going on and where things are going to go. And if we can handle it, stay in the same home until after the holidays, but sleep in separate spaces.
The kids (if there are kids involved) know things are not going good. They are not stupid, and can feel the energy in the home. It would be better for all of that to be cleared up, so everyone can just enjoy the holidays and move on with life.
Thankfully things are bearable between DH + I. We don't usually have big fights and I don't mind sleeping in the same bed as him. I do feel a bit uncomfortable when he cuddles up to me, though. =( I agree, our DD probably knows stuff isn't good between her dad + I. She asked a while ago (in June) about if we were going to break up but that was right after her dad and I had a little spat and she also had been reading a book where the main character was dealing with her parents divorce so her questions weren't completely out of the blue.