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kapeypey06
Honestly I dont even know anymore
November 18, 2012 at 1:22 AM

 

 

 I have never asked for advice on this subject even with my family. I guess part of me is hoping he will change, go back to how he was before his last deployment 2 years ago. now we never talk or when we do he just seems so angry and yells. He doesn't play with are two kids or if he does it ends with him overly upset and yelling. he seems so angry all the time. I don't know how to help him or get him to express anything. I am always wrong  or upset him somehow. he just yells so much tho and never seems happy anymore!  he has been overseas 7 times and the 7th time he just came back so different I have suggested him going to get help all he says is he doesn't have a problem! what should I do? does anyone have any thoughts? its like the kids and I are constantly having to walk on egg shells around him! I know its from him being overseas I just have no idea what to do next!  he has never been physically abusive but he just keeps to himself its like he is here but not, am I making any sense?

Replies

  • cruelella2to
    November 18, 2012 at 2:19 AM

    I read this to my husband, who is military and he said YOU need to get help from his command. He doesn't want the burden of admiting there is a problem, but there is a problem. His and your families quality of life has greatly deminished due to this. he is having to make a choice between his career and his family/self. There are a lot of resources for help with PTSD. due something now before he does something darastic that can't be taken back. also if he is not still serving there is VA help. YOU have to make the call.

    My thoughts being in the psych field he sounds like hes headed down the road to suicide. get him help immediatly. His command is going to be able to help you the most.

  • hippiechik3
    November 18, 2012 at 2:24 AM

    True to the T!

    Quoting cruelella2to:

    I read this to my husband, who is military and he said YOU need to get help from his command. He doesn't want the burden of admiting there is a problem, but there is a problem. His and your families quality of life has greatly deminished due to this. he is having to make a choice between his career and his family/self. There are a lot of resources for help with PTSD. due something now before he does something darastic that can't be taken back. also if he is not still serving there is VA help. YOU have to make the call.

    My thoughts being in the psych field he sounds like hes headed down the road to suicide. get him help immediatly. His command is going to be able to help you the most.


  • cali_angel_girl
    November 18, 2012 at 2:25 AM

    Totally agree

    Quoting cruelella2to:

    I read this to my husband, who is military and he said YOU need to get help from his command. He doesn't want the burden of admiting there is a problem, but there is a problem. His and your families quality of life has greatly deminished due to this. he is having to make a choice between his career and his family/self. There are a lot of resources for help with PTSD. due something now before he does something darastic that can't be taken back. also if he is not still serving there is VA help. YOU have to make the call.

    My thoughts being in the psych field he sounds like hes headed down the road to suicide. get him help immediatly. His command is going to be able to help you the most.


  • AlannaMaria
    November 18, 2012 at 8:04 AM
    I agree too. Good luck girl. * hugs*

    Quoting cruelella2to:

    I read this to my husband, who is military and he said YOU need to get help from his command. He doesn't want the burden of admiting there is a problem, but there is a problem. His and your families quality of life has greatly deminished due to this. he is having to make a choice between his career and his family/self. There are a lot of resources for help with PTSD. due something now before he does something darastic that can't be taken back. also if he is not still serving there is VA help. YOU have to make the call.

    My thoughts being in the psych field he sounds like hes headed down the road to suicide. get him help immediatly. His command is going to be able to help you the most.

  • armstrong7984
    November 18, 2012 at 11:31 AM

    you need to get him to a therapist. My dh has PTSD and didnt relize it until after a specialist caught a glimps of him heading towards the elevator. lol. He was in the army and had done some pretty crazy things from being a sniper in the Special Forces and seeing his bf die in his arms, mainly blaming himself. But there are actually two types of PTSD and my dh has the type that is the opposite of voilent he likes to hold on tight to things..anyways you need to call the VA clinic and just have him go with you and talk...just dont make a big deal out of it.

  • ReadWriteLuv
    November 18, 2012 at 11:50 AM

    I'm not saying this is wrong, because it's not, but you need to be prepared for the inevitable here. If you go behind his back and contact his chain of command he is going to be initally FURIOUS with you. In the long run it may be a great thing, but immedately he is going to lash out.  Things may get worse before they get better. Good luck OP.

    Quoting cruelella2to:

    I read this to my husband, who is military and he said YOU need to get help from his command. He doesn't want the burden of admiting there is a problem, but there is a problem. His and your families quality of life has greatly deminished due to this. he is having to make a choice between his career and his family/self. There are a lot of resources for help with PTSD. due something now before he does something darastic that can't be taken back. also if he is not still serving there is VA help. YOU have to make the call.

    My thoughts being in the psych field he sounds like hes headed down the road to suicide. get him help immediatly. His command is going to be able to help you the most.


  • C.S.K.L
    by C.S.K.L
    November 19, 2012 at 1:21 PM
    My ex husband did the same thing and wouldn't get help, I put up with it and continued trying to get him help for 4 yrs, he would t do it. So for my kids sake and my own mental well being we had to leave.

    It will get worse way worse if it goes untreated, but until he realizes there's a problem and wants to seek help, it's not going to change

    1 yr after I divorced him, he went to the second floor. They could only keep him for a week, gave him meds that really helped as soon as he left he stopped taking them, " he doesn't need no fucking pills or any fucking help" it sucked to watch him go through all he did to himself, but I couldn't let him take the kids and me down with him
  • furbabymum
    November 19, 2012 at 1:25 PM

     PTSD babe. You need to convince him to go get treatment. Plus it's super good for him to have this in his medical records before he retures or gets out of the military or whatever for VA proceedings.

    Anyway, I understand living with an angry man with a mental condition. I understand him not wanting to face it. Men, especially men who have gone over and fought, hate admitting to any weakness, etc. He shouldn't be ashamed. He's seem some horrid shit. He does need to get treatment for it though. You can't force him but you should force the issue, for you and for your kids you have to force the issue.

  • Mommyof5247
    November 19, 2012 at 1:34 PM
    I agree with Cruelella. Go to his commander.

    My XH became a very different man after joining the Army & then more & more withdrawn each time he went overseas. I noticed the changes right after Basic & AIT.

    He wasn't as talkative or personable. He was short tempered & impatient, especially with our kids. Even sleeping & eating habits were different. Back then, we didn't have the luxury of frequent communication during deployment which made our connection harder to maintain. Even thinking back it was so sad.
    You're not alone. And even for friends who have come home apparently mentally healthy, PTSD can be very difficult. Go over his head to get him help. He may get upset with you, but it won't be worse than the stress you're living under now.
  • kapeypey06
    November 20, 2012 at 12:04 AM


    Quoting cruelella2to:

    I read this to my husband, who is military and he said YOU need to get help from his command. He doesn't want the burden of admiting there is a problem, but there is a problem. His and your families quality of life has greatly deminished due to this. he is having to make a choice between his career and his family/self. There are a lot of resources for help with PTSD. due something now before he does something darastic that can't be taken back. also if he is not still serving there is VA help. YOU have to make the call.

    My thoughts being in the psych field he sounds like hes headed down the road to suicide. get him help immediatly. His command is going to be able to help you the most.

    My husband got out of the military right after he got home from that deployment. I have no idea do I call the va? do I try and get him to call? tell me plz what to do and I will

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