I am new here. I actually joined just so I could vent, talk, get advice.... I have been married to my husband for 6 years. We have a 7 year old and a 2 year old. Things at home have not been going well. He is a wonderful dad, but I feel we are so far apart and that spark is gone. He does things that make me so mad! I just don't know what to do. I feel I am done, but it is so hard to leave.... I guess i am just asking advice here. If I am unhappy, should I go? Should I TRY to make it work and hope things get better?
by Punkie74October 15, 2012 at 12:32 PMI would suggest trying counceling.
by daijobuOctober 15, 2012 at 12:42 PM
If you still care about him and believe he is worth it if he improved his outlook and behavior, then yes it is worth trying to make it work. It won't be easy or quick. At the very least you can look back without regrets if it doesn't work out and know you tried your best to make the two of you a better version of yourselves (it means you may have to deal with some unpleasant things about yourself that you may not be aware of, but he sees). Good luck! (Hugs!)
What is the root of your unhappiness? What sort of things make you mad that he does? Sometimes just stepping back and identifying the cause of whatever is going on in your head can give you the answer you need.
I can tell you that is it SO easy to fall into a rut. So easy to feel like things are different or you can't pull out of that rut. It's rare however, for a relationship to be without hope of saving. How long has it been since the two of you went out on a date? Talked to each other about something besides the kids? Enjoyed each other's company? You've been married for 6 years..... remember the reasons you fell in love? The reasons you got married to him? Rediscover each other... DATE each other again. I bet you can find whatever it is you've "lost" Keeping those ruts filled in so you don't fall into them again isn't always easy but it's a good thing. Good Luck (=
by discodramaOctober 15, 2012 at 1:04 PM
for instance.... He works second shift.... I work first shift. I get up at 6:45 everymorning to get my oldest to school. I go to work, I come home and get the baby and go to the school to pick up my daughter. I have them the whole rest of the day alone. On Sunday morning, (he don't work Saturdays) I would LOVE to sleep in. I can never do that becasue he goes out to his dads on Saturday and comes home really late. Last saturday we went out with my brother and my best friend and didn't get home till 1 A.M. ( haunted house... and it was awesome!) lol, but he stayed up and when I woke up at 4, he was gone.... to his dads... drinking.... and at 8 I got up with my girls and realized my oven was on!! He said he didn't turn it on, but IDK who else could have. He was drunk and I don't think he remembers turning it on. What if he would have put food in it then passed out? I was so aggervated with him about it!!
by ida123October 17, 2012 at 11:28 PMTry counceling too..