Love & Marriage

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_Crazy_Beauty
Should I wear them or not!?
October 11, 2012 at 11:33 AM

I am currently 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant and im due j November 11th with first. My husband told me on August 11th that he loves me but isn't in love with me and wants a divorce.

I immediatly took off my wedding rings. Since then I have felt like I am being judged walking around with a big belly and no ring. Technically I am married. My husband has continuously lied to me. He has cheated on me. He hangs out all hours of the night ALL WEEK LONG. I love him more than words and want us to raise our daughter together but he has already clarified that since we are separted he will probably talk to or mess with other females... I am hurt and pissed to say the least but still want my family and my husband.

I don't feel like im available to another man since I am hugely pregnant and still married and that means something to me.

SHOULD I BE WEARING MY RINGS? What did you or would you do with your rings. I have thought about selling them simple because he lost his a long time ago and the fact that im not wearing mine doesn't seem to bother him and he seems very into the divorce and the rings would buy things for my dauther. And IF we got back together, I would want to renew our vows and get a new set that hasn't been ruined by lies and infidelity.

My rings and marriage mean alot to me an ive been wearing my engagement ring since i was 18 and im now 22. SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS PLEASE!?!

Replies

  • Fairywings1223
    October 11, 2012 at 11:39 AM
    When my dh and I separated I took off my rings. I didn't want to but he wanted me too. I just put them up where they were safe. My dh lost his ring a long time ago also. So it wasn't a big deal to him. I.wish you the best of luck. Hopefully your situation improves better than mine. hugs
  • MrsMetalMama
    October 11, 2012 at 11:41 AM
    I wish you the best of luck. i am sorry you are goin thru this i can't imagine how you feel.
  • aimesnyc
    Amy
    October 11, 2012 at 11:44 AM

    If my husband told me that, especially while I was pregnant, I would have taken off the rings, kicked him out, sold them and kept the money for the baby.  IMO, no real man would do/say that to his pregnant wife. Please don't raise your child with someone who has treated you as if you were disposable.  You and your daughter deserve better.

    I'm sure no one is judging you - many pregnant women are unable to wear their rings due to the swelling.


  • ShannaBee
    October 11, 2012 at 11:51 AM

    I wouldn't wear them. In this day and age, a woman does not need a man just because she is pregnant. There are tons of single mothers, I am sure there are some in the group you can connect with an get support.

  • _Crazy_Beauty
    October 11, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    Thank you! My feelings toward him change on a daily basis. Im so upset with him. Its one things to admit that you aren't happy because honestly i wasn't either. But after 2 1/2 years of marriage and me waiting faithfully for him through deployments and weeks in the field and forgiving him time and time again and he tells me that he doesn't even want to try?! WHILE IM PREGNANT WITH OUR FIRST!! I'm trying not to hate the father of my child. I know he still loves me and im scared to give up. Hes due to deploy again before the end of the year and he recently was stationed in texas 1600 miles away from our home town in south carolina. he seems to sometimes want our relationship and sometimes not. I just don't want to be the one sitting around waiting again and putting my life on hold for a man who has never made me his priority. By far the hardest thing to ever happen in my 22 years of life :( Thanks for the advice!!

    Quoting aimesnyc:

    If my husband told me that, especially while I was pregnant, I would have taken off the rings, kicked him out, sold them and kept the money for the baby.  IMO, no real man would do/say that to his pregnant wife. Please don't raise your child with someone who has treated you as if you were disposable.  You and your daughter deserve better.

    I'm sure no one is judging you - many pregnant women are unable to wear their rings due to the swelling.



  • aimesnyc
    Amy
    October 11, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    I can't even imagine!  I know you love him, but you have to do what is best for you and your daughter.   And sometimes that means not being with the father of your child.  What kind of father would he be, you know?  He's already treating you like you are disposable and not a priority - will he be the same with your daughter?  Don't put your life on hold.  You are young and about to have a beautiful new baby.  Do what you need to do to ensure that you and your child have a happy life.

    Quoting _Crazy_Beauty:

    Thank you! My feelings toward him change on a daily basis. Im so upset with him. Its one things to admit that you aren't happy because honestly i wasn't either. But after 2 1/2 years of marriage and me waiting faithfully for him through deployments and weeks in the field and forgiving him time and time again and he tells me that he doesn't even want to try?! WHILE IM PREGNANT WITH OUR FIRST!! I'm trying not to hate the father of my child. I know he still loves me and im scared to give up. Hes due to deploy again before the end of the year and he recently was stationed in texas 1600 miles away from our home town in south carolina. he seems to sometimes want our relationship and sometimes not. I just don't want to be the one sitting around waiting again and putting my life on hold for a man who has never made me his priority. By far the hardest thing to ever happen in my 22 years of life :( Thanks for the advice!!

    Quoting aimesnyc:

    If my husband told me that, especially while I was pregnant, I would have taken off the rings, kicked him out, sold them and kept the money for the baby.  IMO, no real man would do/say that to his pregnant wife. Please don't raise your child with someone who has treated you as if you were disposable.  You and your daughter deserve better.

    I'm sure no one is judging you - many pregnant women are unable to wear their rings due to the swelling.




  • MagicTemptation
    October 11, 2012 at 12:18 PM

    This is kind of my thoughts as well. What man leaves his pregnant wife and puts that stress on her? As far as wearing your rings, that is completely up to you. I rarely wear my rings, they tend to get lost, caught on things, and in the way. I get looks alot when I go out with my kids alone. But their looks and reactions are not my problem. Good luck hunny. If it does come to a divorce, with him being in the military, they will make sure you get your child support. That is one small worry you don't have to think about.

    Quoting aimesnyc:

    If my husband told me that, especially while I was pregnant, I would have taken off the rings, kicked him out, sold them and kept the money for the baby.  IMO, no real man would do/say that to his pregnant wife. Please don't raise your child with someone who has treated you as if you were disposable.  You and your daughter deserve better.

    I'm sure no one is judging you - many pregnant women are unable to wear their rings due to the swelling.



  • pinklove22
    October 11, 2012 at 12:24 PM
    This exactly


    Quoting aimesnyc:

    If my husband told me that, especially while I was pregnant, I would have taken off the rings, kicked him out, sold them and kept the money for the baby.  IMO, no real man would do/say that to his pregnant wife. Please don't raise your child with someone who has treated you as if you were disposable.  You and your daughter deserve better.

    I'm sure no one is judging you - many pregnant women are unable to wear their rings due to the swelling.



  • Willow.wind
    October 11, 2012 at 12:29 PM
    Pick up a cheap fake band & wear that for yourself... If it makes you feel better in your difficult situation... BTW I would have told him you & I are knocked up, you don't get the choice to fall out of love!!!! You mister have made a CHILD !!!!!!

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