Love & Marriage

whitneylynn13
Trust
October 9, 2012 at 6:52 PM

 Does your SO worry about you cheating on him?

My SO swears that I will end up leaving him one day for another man, or I will cheat on him. He has been cheated on  by almost all of his ex girlfriends, his only other serious relationship he was with the girl off and on for 5 years and she cheated on him, multiple times. So I can fully understand why that would make someone worried because thats all they have had done to them. But I think he honestly believes I'm going to cheat or leave him for someone else. Out of everyone who has been cheated on about 85% never will find out about it. Not to mention everywhere you look (tv, facebook, school, work, friends) you see someone who has cheated or is cheating on their SO. So all of that on top of being cheated on so many times has made him believe that.

I have never cheated on anyone I have been with, and I've never left someone just to be with someone else. I could never do that to someone. I am a big believer in do to others as you would want them to do to you. I love SO very much and I make sure I show him that every day in every way I can. And he does the same to me. We have a great relationship. This is really our only issue and it really never comes up. It's not so bad that he controls where I go and what I do. And he's not constantly accusing me or questioning me. But there have been a couple instances where he really thought I did cheat or was cheating for no realistic reason and it became a big deal

Like recently I had something small on the butt of my pants that he swore up and down looked like semen and it wasn't his.  I stay at home all day taking care of my son. I hardly ever go anywhere. I cook and do art projects with my one year old and clean, whatever was on my pants could have been anything. Hell that day I had made his salmon patties and that has mayo in it and I had my toaster strudles with white icing on them twice and my son is obviously a messy eater, he is one, he gets his sticky yucky hands everywhere. Who knows what the hell I had gotten on me I just knew for a fact it wasn't what he thought it was. Any other person who had seen it would have thought nothing of it. But he had it set in his mind that thats what it was and absolutly nothing I could do or say was going to change that. I have NEVER given him a reason not to trust me and I don't know what to do just to prove to him that I haven't ever and will never cheat on him! I've told him to put a damn camera on the inside of the front door so he could see who ever comes in but he says he is not like that and won't do it. He says he will never look through my phone or computer or facebook because that is not right. Even though I've tried showing him just to prove to him! I don't know what to do and I am willing to do anything I can because it is not fair to me to be accused of something that I didn't do!

Has anyone had this issue before or does anyone have any advice?

Replies

  • xoxRachelxox
    October 9, 2012 at 7:05 PM

    Mine isn't worried that I'll cheat.

    I can see why he's worried though. It's not fair that he feels that way with you because you haven't given him any reason to but he probably trusted the other woman he was with and got hurt.

    Maybe some day he will see that you aren't going to hurt him but it may just take some time.

    95% of me believes dh would never cheat on me but since I've been cheated on by every one I've ever been with, there's still that 5% chance in the back of my head that thinks he will.

  • whitneylynn13
    October 9, 2012 at 7:32 PM

     I hope it will get better with time but I think he will always be worried and I know he thinks that I have cheated and he just hasn't caught me. I don't know why or what to do. I try everything I can to show him I love him and he's the only one I want and that he can trust me but he gets mad over nothing, he's looking for something that's not there so it's like he makes things up to get mad and there is nothing I can do to change that. I just don't want this to eventually ruin our relationship

  • Always.Lovely.
    October 9, 2012 at 7:45 PM
    I can understand where he's coming from but he's going to end up pushing you away. I don't know about you but there would be only so much of that, that I could handle. Gently remind him of that. Suggest counseling to him, they can help overcome this and it may help to have that third party.


    Quoting whitneylynn13:

     I hope it will get better with time but I think he will always be worried and I know he thinks that I have cheated and he just hasn't caught me. I don't know why or what to do. I try everything I can to show him I love him and he's the only one I want and that he can trust me but he gets mad over nothing, he's looking for something that's not there so it's like he makes things up to get mad and there is nothing I can do to change that. I just don't want this to eventually ruin our relationship


  • whitneylynn13
    October 9, 2012 at 7:58 PM
    Quoting Always.Lovely.:




    I was thinking about seeing if he would talk to someone with me, I don't know how he'd feel about that. I can handle a lot I've been throughmuch worse. I just want to everything I can for us I love him too much to give up.
  • ReadWriteLuv
    October 9, 2012 at 9:35 PM
    His problem is with himself, not with you. And I hate to tell you this, but it will not get better unless he gets help for himself. There is nothing YOU can do.
  • 2lilmamas
    October 9, 2012 at 9:51 PM
    Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

    His problem is with himself, not with you. And I hate to tell you this, but it will not get better unless he gets help for himself. There is nothing YOU can do.

Love & Marriage