my deepest fear is that one day my dh will wake up and tell me that he no longer loves me, that "us" was a mistake....
I met dh a lifetime ago, his first wife and i were friends, but as life sometimes happen, we drifted apart...Over the years I learned that she had cancer, since we live in a small town, everyone knows everything...so keeping tabs on her health was not all that hard...When i found out that she was sick, I was working in a genetics laboratory, so i called and gave her the name of a great oncologist in the area, along with some charities that could help with the finacial burden of treatment..He dh, had just lost his job, the company that he was working for just shut the doors one day, without offering COBRA extended care (this was back in the height of the recession/depression of 2008), so they were left without health insurance...Time pasted, I would see her in town and we'd catch up..A few years later, I had heard that she wasn't doing well, and hospice was in the home...then the horrible news, she has passed, she was only 40...the entire town just about came to a scratching hault....A few weeks later, I facebook'd I.M'd her dh...expressing my concern my empathy and sympathy...we chatted on and off for about a month before we decided to met up for a couple drinks, the idea, was that he and I would be FWB...well after our first real "date" (2wks after our first night together), we fell in love, he asked me marry him that night, I moved in 6wks later, he asked again, we married 4 months after our first night....
My fear is that since such a short time had passed from when he was married, to single to married again, that somehow he will start to resent not being the "single dilf"..dh is a very good looking man, with a devilish smile and the most intese blue eyes, that sparkle when he's happy....Also, he is younger than me...he's 40, and i'm 48..stupid i know but these few years are a source of insecurity for me....
I know dh loves me, and that he's a relationship kind of a guy (i.e. likes being taken care of, not having stresses of single fatherhood, respected and loved unconditionally...these are his words)...but as irrational as it is, these are my feeling....
and that's about it....
by MrsMetalMamaOctober 7, 2012 at 7:55 PMThat is scary.
October 7, 2012 at 7:59 PM
if he is with you and married you he loves you. my husband is 35 and i am 22 and my fear is that he will want someone more mature. but i look at it this way he took time and money to marry me, to love me. i am sure he loves you with all his heart and when someone is in love the last thing they want is to be single. i dont think you should worry, and age is just a number anyway. i dont know what u look like but I am sure you are pretty, dont worry be confident.
by olivejuice2October 8, 2012 at 8:27 AMMy dh was only single about 3 months between me and his ex, who he was with for around 5 years. He said the relationship had been over long, long before they made the split official (she moved out months before they broke up, sex had stopped long before moved, conversation was limited) and he felt like he'd been single longer. No matter what he said, I had similar concerns.
You just have to trust that he knows what he wants. If either of our dh wanted to be single they would be. It's been 6 happy years and we are still going strong! Trust him, he might be younger than you, but he is with you because he loves you. Not everyone wants "the life of a single dilf", and only your dh can truely know what kind of life makes him happy. So believe him.
by Myrick4packOctober 8, 2012 at 9:08 AMThis is how I feel. I think that I don't deserve him after all these years.
I have the same fear!